Telling Those Untold Stories

I’m honored to be a featured guest on Sue Mitchell’s inspiring blog today. It takes a writing village to create something meaningful and turn stories into bonds that unite communities around the world. I’m happy that we can share and enlarge this village together. 

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You know those times when you’re looking around online, happen on a website, and feel like you’ve struck gold? That’s how I felt the first time I landed on Sharon Lippincott’s The Heart and Craft of Lifewriting blog.

. . .

On your blog, you provide a wealth of clear and practical lessons on improving your writing. At what point in the process of writing a memoir do you think writers should begin to concern themselves with the craft of writing and when do you recommend freewriting, without worrying about quality?

I advise beginners to focus on quantity rather than quality, especially if they are near or past Medicare age. I base this partly on the fact that my mother did not tell anyone she was working on her life story and died leaving two or three versions of rough draft, but nothing polished. Once I found those drafts in her genealogy material, I was able to piece them together into a coherent and complete narrative of her life up to the point of meeting my father.

. . . Click here to read the rest.

How (and Why) to Review a Book

“The best way to derive the maximum benefit from reading a book is to write a review!”

I continually urge students in all classes I teach to review books they read, explaining that doing so will turn their reading into a self-directed writing workshop.

Like many people, I always equated writing book reviews with those detested book reports we all had to write during our school years. Not so! Since rising to a challenge a few years ago to begin writing reviews, I have taken great pleasure in posting more than 70 reviews on Amazon.

Reviewing books has given me a new level of appreciation for the craft of writing. I read memoir and fiction first for pleasure, engrossed in the action and passions of the story, then double back to analyze. I’m usually more analytical when reading non-fiction, informational material. If I’m reading a print book, I use sticky flags to mark interesting passages for later consideration. I highlight passages in eBooks. When I finish reading, I go back and look at flagged or highlighted elements along with factors such as

• what made it work (or not)
• story structure
• how the characters are developed
• how backstory is woven in
• how dialogue flows
• how the author uses description and words
• which passages lit my lamp
• who I recommend the book to

I make notes on the elements listed above and use these as the basis for writing a review. In the review, I cite what I especially appreciated about the book, what worked well for me, and if I wasn’t thrilled with it, I mention why not. I have occasionally noted that popular, prolific authors have made obvious factual errors, a form of arrogance that rubs me the wrong way. 

This process has not only enhanced my reading pleasure, my (re)writing has improved tremendously as a result, and I don’t know how else I would have gained as much insight into structural options.

Most people agree that reading and taking notes has value, but they are reluctant to take that next step of formalizing a review. These three reasons may answer that question for you:

• It’s great writing exercise, giving you practice in organizing your thoughts
• It builds community among readers, especially on Goodreads.com
• It’s a great way of showing your appreciation to an author for taking the time and making the effort to entertain, enlighten or educate you. Book reviews are powerful promotional tools for authors and the one tool authors can’t create for themselves.

If you are only going to post one place, Amazon gets the most exposure. It’s simple to use, though a friend recently admitted she had not figured out the process. In case you are also flummoxed, here’s the drill:

You can only post if you have an Amazon account, and you must order at least one item before your account is authorized for reviews. This is to protect the world against unscrupulous people who might open 195 accounts under various names to skew ratings with ******  or * reviews.

After logging on to your account, find the book page, and scroll almost down to the bottom, past any existing reviews, to find the Write a customer review button.

• Click that button.
• Click the appropriate number of stars at the top
• Enter a title for your review (anything other than the book title)
• Paste the review you’ve carefully edited in Word (or whatever) into the review window.
• Click “Preview your review” below that window.
• Read once more as a final proof.
• Click Edit to return to the previous window or Publish review to finalize it.

You can post the same review other places. Barnes & Noble welcomes reviews, and authors love to have reviews posted on Goodreads. You need to have accounts for both Barnes & Noble and Goodreads in order to post there. Watch for “post a review” clues and follow them on either site.

Write now: find a book you’ve recently read, or finish a new one. Use the guidelines above to make some notes, then write a review. Post it on Amazon, then open an account if you don’t already have one and post it on Goodreads. Repeat fifty times and watch your writing take wings. 

Writing Compelling Description

The Heart and Craft family of fine publications has expanded. Today marks the official debut of The Heart and Craft of Writing Compelling Description.

Chapters in this book may sound familiar to some. Each of the forty-eight chapters appeared as a post on this blog. Many may wonder why I published this book when all the content is available online. Here’s the story.

I already had a short anthology of description-related posts that I’ve used in various ways over the past few years. One gray January day, I whimsically decided to transform that document into a $.99 Kindle short. I thought it might take … maybe three hours. That was three months ago!

Many of my favorite posts were missing, so I sorted through nearly six hundred posts. Forty-eight made the cut. Next I shuffled them into some semblance of order, checked for dead links, and double-checked permissions for graphics. Sharing on a blog  the public can read for free is one thing. Using images in a for-profit publication is another. Some had to be changed. The posts needed more editing than I realized. A volunteer team of friends and writing group buddies offered  remarkable suggestions and the quality improved.

As I struggled with the introduction, I had an epiphany about the entire process of writing description:

Description is anything that shapes the reader’s perception of your message or story.

That insight blew out the walls of  my boxed-in concept of description as adjectives, similes and metaphors, opening a universe of creative options I had not previously noticed in those posts as I wrote them.

As the collection grew, friends convinced me this project had outgrown the original $.99 intention. They wanted to have a collection of those posts at their fingertips where they could easily refer to them, so I crafted a print version and turned to Amazon’s free CreateSpace publishing service as my printer and distributor.

During the ensuing weeks, various cheerleaders, with Gutsy Sonia Marsh at the fore, held my feet to the fire to develop a cover everyone was happy with. Writing group friends helped with content edits. Thanks especially to Elizabeth Kim, Carol Broz and Tom Imerito. How I valued their help with the book description! Who thinks about these aspects of publishing?

Hillary Clinton coined the phrase “It takes a village.” That phrase is equally true of publishing. Anyone can write a book, but it takes a village to ensure it’s a solid, well-written, well-crafted book the world can benefit from. I especially appreciate enthusiastic “beta readers” who have (or soon will) post reviews. I can’t begin to describe the sense of elated humility I feel as I read those reviews and personal comments.

The biggest differences between publishing this book and The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing (released seven years ago) is that this time I made final decisions on everything, and I control the business end. Even that book was a non-traditional experience. Although the earlier cover was professionally designed, it built on my concept, and I did all layout – an unheard-of arrangement when working with a traditional publisher. I love doing layout!

Controlling graphics for eBook conversion had a steep learning curve. I’ve now tamed that beast, and I can save you a lot of time if you ever need to know the secret.

Thanks again to all who have helped along the way, and I hope everyone else finds as much value in this new volume as you have!

Write now: I invite you to click over to Amazon and use the “Look Inside” feature to read the introduction to The Heart and Craft of Writing Compelling Description, and skim the reviews. Then either buy a copy of this new book and write a review. Or find a book you’ve recently enjoyed and review it. Reviewing is the best way to find hidden insights you missed on the first reading and milk even more goodness from the volume. It builds community with other readers, past and potential, as well as the authors.

Red Ink: Threat or Transfusion?

Red ink bled any possible love of writing from millions of students. You may be one of them. The mere thought of voluntarily exposing your words to censure may fill you with trepidation and turn fingers and brain to stone. Yet you have this story you ache to tell and you want to do it well. What’s a person to do?

Roots of the problem. English teachers back in the dark ages of our school years (whenever those were) were trained to believe in the power of correction. Only occasionally did they whisper words of encouragement and praise to the favored few. This approach did little to foster a love of writing, and deterred untold millions from even trying.

For students with a certain mindset, this approach worked. For example, although we paid little attention to our children’s homework, when he was a high school junior my younger son began asking me to edit his English papers. I gave it my best, flooding early pages with red ink. By then we had a computer, so after I explained what I’d done, he quickly fixed them and floored his teacher with his flawless work. By the end of the year, I seldom found anything to correct. Learning had happened, perhaps in spite of me. I had not yet learned the power of appreciation and positive feedback.

Red ink as symbol. Not long ago I overheard a heart-rending remark in a campus eatery: “Every time I see red ink, I feel like blood is draining out of me. This paper is a total hemorrhage, and I’m dying!”  Wow, this was not exactly a new idea – I have instinctively used green or blue ink when critiquing other people’s writing. An expanded metaphor came to mind:

When blood gushes out of a body, life is threatened. Blood can be returned to that failing body with a life-saving transfusion.

When you think of red ink that way, corrections can become gifts, lessons to help you grow and improve, not violent slashes to fend off an incoherent dolt.

Personal experience bears this out. Let me back up. I learned to sew at my mother’s knee, and at her insistence I spent hundreds of hours ripping and restitching until every seam lay smoothly. At first she ripped for me. Then she demanded to see each seam before I went on to the next, approving or prescribing correction. Ultimately I fixed things on my own initiative, demanding perfection of myself. This trait spilled over into everything, including writing.

Perhaps I’m fortunate to have no memories of red ink from school, although I’m sure there were some. But neither do I have memories of encouragement. I did love outlining sentences, and somehow I did pick up reasonably strong skills that eventually gave me some confidence that I knew how to write.

That confidence hit a brick wall in 1993 when I began working with a publisher on my first book, Meetings: Do’s, Don’ts and Donuts. Barrels of red ink flowed onto the pages. I don’t think a single sentence emerged intact. I reacted with horror, paralyzed by red-faced humiliation. After I scuttled home and entered the edits, words flowed more smoothly. Gabbiness had morphed to an authoritative, professional tone. That was Round One. We probably went through an entire bout, but the book was solid and good and went into a Second Edition.

The situation was rather different with The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing a dozen years later. Yes, there was still red ink, but not nearly so much. The gift of red ink allowed learning to happen.

I have a new manuscript working its way through the CreateSpace labyrinth right now. I hope to tell you about it and post links in a week or so. This time I eagerly sought that red ink. I want that volume to be the best it can be. Over half a dozen people provided input, finding “egregious errors” that I would never have noticed and suggesting tweaks to smooth the flow. They found comma problems along with duplicate and missing words Grammar Check missed.

Red ink is my delight, a gift to myself. I view it as a transfusion, and hope you can come to that view also. We help each other grow as writers and learn to give our stories the polish that connects with readers to change lives.

Write now: do some freewriting on the topic of red ink and critique. Do you become defensive? Do you feel humiliated when others find errors, rough spots or holes in your stories? Do you shy away from sharing for that reason? Jot some thoughts about how you might change your perspective to reverse the image of gibes into recognition of gifts.

Resurrecting Memories

This afternoon I took a walk in search of the first coltsfoot blooms of the season. They usually appear on March 21, give or take a day, but this year winter has hung on longer than usual, delaying their appearance more than a week. This winter has been a difficult one, filled with reminders of our mortality. Never have I been more eager for the appearance of spring!

I was even more eager to see them today after receiving an unexpected phone call from my brother in Richland, Washington. Kathy Utz, a dear friend I’ve known for 43 years, died a couple of weeks ago. The news felt like a sandbag hitting my solar plexus. I had no idea she was ailing, and I’d planned to call her later today to wish her Happy Easter.

Since my brother knew no details, I called a mutual friend to get the rest of the story. Talking about our grief and sense of loss helped us both. Story is like that. It’s how we make sense of things, individually and collectively. I had to know more details to calm my shocked brain, and telling the story again gave my friend an opportunity to deepen her sense of it.

Going for a walk and finding the flowers helped too, in an odd way. I usually find the first blooms on the uphill side of the road on a sunny curve about three-quarters of the way along the half mile walk  to the stop sign. I found none on the bend where they always make their first appearance, confirming my suspicion that this winter will never end. As I turned around at the stop sign, I glanced down the hill on the other side and breathed a huge sigh of relief. My spirit soared as I saw them blooming in abundance in a new location, out of sight from the road. After spotting them, I continued to find blooms every few yards all the way home.

Buoyed by this discovery, I realized the need to get out of my mental rut. I began thinking again of my friend and all the adventures and we shared and plots we concocted. I determined to come home and begin writing as a tribute to her and a way of healing my grief.

I’ve already written about some of those experiences, like sitting in her kitchen feeling like a beached whale the afternoon before my daughter was born, two weeks late. I’ve written about campaigning with Kathy for the Washington State Equal Rights Amendment and going to trashy movies together as couples and trading babysitting and lobbying to bring liberal arts classes to the University of Washington extension campus in our community. A long list of other stories awaits the telling.

Although our paths diverged as she became more involved in politics and we followed separate career paths, we always stayed in touch. She’s the only one I have seen on every visit to Richland since we left in 1985.

Writing “our” story will help me cement those memories, and exploring some deeper meanings is sure to spark new insights. I will send some of the stories to her sons as a legacy. They are part of her history that she never did write.

Finding the coltsfoot in a new location inspires me to try new perspectives and look for new meanings in unexpected places as I write. I will not only resurrect those memories, I’ll turn them to gold, the color of coltsfoot.

Write now: think of the friend you’ve known the longest and make a list of adventures and experiences you’ve shared. Include simple things like chatting over coffee or talking on the phone every day. Record any disagreements or conflicts you may have had. Select a few items and write the stories around them. Include your assessment of the situation at the time, and how your thoughts and understanding have changed in the interim. Explore what this person has meant to you and how she or he affected your life. When you finish, share a story or few with your friend, or surviving family members, as the case may be.

Is Memoir a Betrayal?

“Writers are always selling somebody out,” wrote Joan Didion at the beginning of her first essay collection, 1968’s Slouching Towards Bethlehem.

This sinister quote was included in Boris Katcha’s feature article on the New York Magazine site discussing Didion’s brutally personal new memoir, Blue Nights. Katcha considers Didion’s words “a statement of mercenary purpose in the guise of a confession: not a preemptive apologia but an expression of grandiose, even nihilistic ambition.”

How might this apply to “ordinary people” writing lifestory and memoir? How many memoir writers have grandiose or nihilistic ambitions? My previous post, “Above All, Cause No Harm,” emphasizes that shadows give depth to a character, and that speaking our truth may be inconvenient or painful for others. So, yes, in a sense, even without Didion’s mindset, memoir can be seen by some as a betrayal, in at least a small way.

Most thinking people will agree that this is a matter of degree. Mentioning that Aunt Agatha was portly won’t raise nearly as many eyebrows as sharing the news that Uncle Elmer groped children, specifically you.

So here’s the ethical dilemma. Assuming it is true that Uncle Elmer groped children, even if “only” you, most would consider that Uncle Elmer betrayed family trust, and yours  most of all. Perhaps by opening this wound to light and air you will help yourself and an entire family heal and move on. Perhaps you will inspire others to speak out and help rid society of this evil, or at least give future generations the strength and awareness to teach children to speak up so we can deal with it quickly before permanent damage is done.

In this case the question may be, if Uncle Elmer betrayed trust in general and yours in particular, is disclosing this fact in a published memoir betraying Uncle Elmer? Betraying the family? I leave that for you to decide. There is  no right answer.

Are hurt feelings a betrayal? Who owns reactions? Does Aunt Agatha ever look in the mirror? Does she think nobody knows she is the elephant is in the room? Is she truly unaware that people whisper and snicker behind her back? If you know Aunt Aggie’s feelings will be hurt, perhaps you don’t need to mention her size and eating habits, at least not so bluntly. Perhaps she’s eating herself into an early grave and you can wait her out. If it is an important story element, you’ll have a decision to make.

On balance, published memoirs do tend to include “juicy” material, perhaps because most people who feel motivated to take on a writing project of that scope generally have some sort of traumatic event or series of events to report, in the belief that doing so will have benefit for others. But even these thorny stories have rose petals strewn among them.

Decisions about what to include and what to leave in the closet are always an individual decision. Use these questions to help make your own:

• What is my purpose for including this event or detail?
• Does it further the purpose of the story?
• Am I using it to gain sympathy or a laugh at the expense of the person I’m writing about?
• What are the long term consequences likely to be?
• Do the anticipated costs of  expected turmoil outweigh the benefits?
• What will that person think? Others who know the person?
• Can I generalize enough to mask the identity of this person?

You may think of other questions to add to this list. I’ll continue writing about this thread in future posts, so please participate in the conversation by posting additional questions and other thoughts in a comment.

Write now: a draft of a story with juicy content that you aren’t sure about sharing with anyone. Write the draft without consideration for propriety or anyone’s feelings. When you finish, look back through the story and underline sensitive passages. Consider each one. How does it contribute to the story? Would your message be clear without that line? Is there another honest way to say the same thing in a less offensive way?

Guest Post – Cheering for Life

I’ve been following Susan Payne’s Blog The Water Witch’s Daughter (written under the pseudonym SuziCate) for at least a couple of years and each time I read it, I’m enchanted with the combination of breathtaking photos and heartwarming insights, touching stories and snippets of life.

Susan recently published her first book, Stepping into the Wilderness, an anthology of sixty encouraging posts from her blog. Each contains five thought provoking questions to promote inner growth through reflection or journal writing. In addition, each piece contains five writing exercises for enriching the writing experience. Each contains five thought provoking questions to promote inner growth through reflection or journal writing. In addition, each piece contains five writing exercises for enriching the writing experience, and in this post she shares a touching story with prompts for you to write about parallel experiences.

“Is my letter crooked?” I adjusted the large “N” stretching across her sweater and pinned it in place.

“How about my hair? My bangs ok? My pony tail too high?”

“You’re perfect. Now, get out there and get us going!” She was beautiful, popular, and my best friend.

Her skirt flung to and fro as she swung her hips to the beat. Green and gold pompoms danced through the air as all the girls followed her lead in waving their arms above their heads. The bleachers smelled of sweat and mixed perfumes as we clapped, yelled, and stomped. She jumped from the human pyramid, long, muscular legs spread, back arched as her arms almost touched midway, and landed on her feet. She ran across the gym clapping and cheering, “Go green. Go gold!” She encouraged the football players. She encouraged us to get into the team spirit. By the end of the pep rally I was so caught up in school pride goose bumps tickled my skin and sent a chill over me.

Her damp bangs formed a ridge around her dark eyes. Her ponytail hung limp, but she bounced. She asked, “How was the new routine?”

“You performed flawlessly!” And that she did. Oh, how I wished I was wearing the short swirly skirt and toting pompoms. She tossed the pompoms to me…”Hold ‘em for a minute. Will ya’?”

“Sure.” She had no idea how I loved the times I helped carry her stuff. I thrust my arms skyward mocking her earlier movements. Problem was I jerked back and forth. I didn’t have her grace. Honestly, I didn’t have a rhythmic bone in my body. I tripped over my own feet, and my voice was definitely not the sing-song type.

Still, somehow she talked me into going to cheerleader practice camp. I flopped. She encouraged me to keep trying, telling me I’d eventually get it. I didn’t get it. I dropped out before tryouts. Though we walked our days together, she was swamped with cheerleading duties, and I was busy with my own fortes of being literary magazine editor and newspaper reporter. Still, we supported one another with our gifts. I helped her write her school papers, and she helped me develop confidence.

About fifteen years later, I told her on the phone it was going to be ok. I told her she could beat the cancer. I encouraged her to do the chemo, the radiation, go to Mexico, swim the Atlantic, to do whatever she needed to live.

She suffered, but her faith and courage proved to be as strong as her grace. I called her every week and traveled four hours to visit when I could. On the last visit, she was so weak she could barely eat or speak. “Don’t pray for me anymore. I think God is tired of hearing my name and wants you to pray for someone else. I need you to do something else for me. Will you?”

“I’ll do anything you want,” I said as I squinted my eyes to hold back the tears.

“I need you to tell my story, to encourage others to keep faith no matter what. And I want you to write my obituary.”

“There’s no need for an obituary. You’re going to be fine.” I knew I was lying but I just couldn’t bring myself to have this conversation.

“Promise me you’ll write it.” Her fingers pulled at mine.

“I promise.” I squeezed her fingers for confirmation.

A few days later I awoke about five a.m. to a cool wind sweeping across my soul. I knew before I got the call. I wrote the obituary and delivered the eulogy. As she requested, I encouraged all in attendance to keep the faith.

I never learned to dance, nor did I develop a singing voice. Still, I am a cheerleader. A cheerleader of life, that is. Through reflection of these many years I am learning my friend’s story, though it seems she knew mine all along.

As a genealogy enthusiast I write memoir. As a person who feels emotion deeply, I wrote poetry. As a hiker and canoeist, I write prose about my connection with nature. As a creative, I write fiction. From my soul, I write inspiring words to encourage others. I say this to you: Embrace this beautiful life of yours, and live your time here with passion and love.

Walking Along the Edge of the Woods:

How do you deal with loss? Do you close up and shut down? Do you face it head on? Do you rely on faith?

Have you ever been asked to something difficult but felt obligated to do it? How did you deal with it emotionally?

When have you felt your prayers or needs were not being heard? Did you remain encouraged things would get better?

Have you ever known with certainly in your soul something has occurred before receiving confirmation?

Do you have a best friend? Why is this person important in your life?

Stepping into the Wilderness:

Write a death scene. Have your character make a bizarre request of a loved one.

Write a memoir about how a non-achievement in your life became a gain in the long run.

Write a narrative about the best friends of your life. Tell us how they have changed or remained through the seasons of your life.

Write a dialogue between two people where one wishes to emulate the other.

Write a short story about someone keeping hope alive in a bleak situation. Use your setting to convey the bleakness of story’s situation.

The above questions and exercises are not in my book but are an example of those contained in my book.

Susan’s book, Stepping into the Wilderness, is available on Amazon in both Kindle and print, and you can visit her on the web at The Water Witch’s Daughter.