Triumph at the End of a Rocky Road

The note above shows one of a rapidly growing list that Carol B has received from family members after privately publishing a volume of family history laced together with relevant aspects of her personal story. She swells with happiness at each one. These notes are more than usually rewarding. The road to this outcome has been rocky. Her stories sizzle with intrigue. That eventually presented a problem.

Carol, her parents, and a family friend (I omit her full name at her request to protect her family’s privacy), spent decades gathering stories and documents from county records and other sources, documenting purchase and sale of property, births, deaths and marriages, police and jail records, newspaper articles and pictures. Piles and piles of pictures. She took careful notes as relatives chewed the fat at family events.  She even sought out help from her local historical society to gather added information.

Eventually she wove memories and facts into stories. Lifestory writing group members pointed out unclear areas, missing material and more. Her strong writing grew polished in both content and structure. Then forces of darkness emerged.

Her family’s history includes mayhem, madness and murder. It’s all a matter of public record, and mostly forgotten, though ripples remain in family attitudes and traits. Still, she was loathe to publish it all without warning the family. She told everyone whose names appeared in the book what she was up to and asked their permission to share stories relevant to their immediate family members. With the exception of one person within her family, she was offered nothing but support and encouragement.  She did not have anyone else read her book, as she was not willing to write a book by committee.  As it turned out, the faith that family members had in her was almost unanimous. Others showed their trust by giving full permission to use their names and their particular family stories.

However, there was one family member who, without even reading the book, objected on principle. “There is no reason to dig all that stuff up again.”  Said Person would not discuss it with Carol and did not respond to numerous requests to be named in the book, then cut off  direct communication.

Carol’s inner critic went nuts. What if I’m sued?  Maybe I’m too critical. Maybe my book is too negative.  Even if I do expose the people in my book to public scrutiny, these are the stories of my family. What should I do?

Her voice had the sound of defeat as she told me, “That person has gobs of money and can afford to sue me on a whim. Maybe that will happen. Maybe I should just drop it. Maybe I should just share the Word file with anyone who wants to read it.”

“You’ve told dozens of people you’re doing this, and they all want to see it finished. What about them? Will you be letting them down? You’ve set aside funds to see it through. How can we work around this?”

Note to readers: don’t try to handle this alone. Get plenty of perspectives. 

“Do you think I’ve been too critical?  Is my book too negative?”

“NO! But I’m not always the best judge of emotional tone. Let’s get one more opinion.” I recommended another writer I know who excels in this area. Her response was supportive. Carol regained her grip.

She decided she would proceed with the project with these caveats:

• She omitted all references to Said Person beyond a couple of picture captions where she cites the relationship without a name.  She decides to include a vintage photo of Said Person, but includes only a first initial and maiden last name.  To do otherwise would have made her uncomfortable, since she did not want to purposefully leave anyone out of the family history.  She also decided to mail Said Person a copy of the family history book. To date, there has been no acknowledgement of receipt though communication on other subjects has been resumed. 

• In the Acknowledgments she states: “I have remained faithful to the stories that were passed down through the family and relied on my own memories and those of other family members for additional tales. Throughout the process, I maintained my belief and intention to cause no harm.”

• The back cover includes a disclaimer of sorts: “… For decades she has collected stories from relatives and public records. She compiles those stories with personal reflections to tell the family’s story with truth and honesty to the best of her understanding.” 

She also firmed up her decision to keep publication as private as possible.

This last step required thinking out of the box. Carol is facing serious health problems and wants to ensure that her extended family will be able to independently order additional copies for years to come.

In line with her decision to keep the book private, she vowed to avoid all promotion and publicity. She is eager, however, for others to know of her experience, even though they won’t be reading the book. Buoyed by the outpouring of gratitude from family members, such as the note above, she has asked me to share that story, hoping to inspire others who battled doubts about sensitive disclosure to persist and find their own way around obstacles.

I’m happy to oblige, emphasizing to readers that publishing privately with limited distribution can be a strong and rewarding option for those who shy away from telling all to the world at large.

As the fan letter notes, Carol is hard at work on a second volume, a personal memoir. Will this one also be kept under wraps? Who knows? If she opts for open publication, you’ll be among the first to know.

Points to Ponder: What tense material might slow down your writing project? What creative workarounds can you come up with? Who can you turn to for support and fresh ideas?

Points to Ponder: What tense material might slow down your writing project? What creative workarounds can you come up with? Who can you turn to for support and fresh ideas?

HOOKED on eBOOKS

I'm totally hooked on ebooks. I know  many people prefer print, but when I read on my 11" tablet in landscape mode with two columns, it looks familiar, like print. But it’s better. I can changes text sizes on a whim and read in the dark when Other is sleeping. Best of all, I can highlight with abandon and view highlights apart from text, instantly search to keep track of who’s who, share passages without retyping, add volumes of notes ... so many things I never did or can’t do with print. This ability to find things in the book is a boon for writing reviews and preparing examples for classes.
Those are only a few of my reasons. More than thirty years ago, when I ran out of wall space for shelves, I made the decision  that my book collection had to enter no net gain status. If I bought one, I had to off-load one. The Friends of the Library love me for all the contributions I’ve made to the Used Book Sale. This book diet comes at a price. I've often wished I could check something in one of those old books. Most have also been weeded by the library. They exist now only as ghost prints in memory.
In spite of this limit, right now my house holds over fifty cartons of packed paper books (only a dozen, about 600 lb., are mine). My digital bookshelf would fill at least another dozen in print. When I think of the time saved by not packing and unpacking and all that involves, and the money saved on shipping from here to Austin, I love digital even more. I keep my digital volumes well backed-up.
There’s more to the story. I recently bought an absurdly large cell phone. I may come to regret that size decision with regard to the phone, but to my amazement, I love reading on it. My eyes barely move as I scan the entire page width. It's easier for me to read. It feels good.
When I look back now at some of my old books with wide pages, tiny type and tight line spacing, my eyes cross as I recoil. How did I ever READ this stuff? Small print on a phone screen is one thing. Small, tight print on a paper page five inches wide is impossible for my old eyes and brain. Besides, how can I find the passage I want? If I can't find a book in digital form, I'll still read paper, but I far prefer pixels to print. 
Yes indeed, I am HOOKED ON eBOOKS.
Write Now: Write an essay on your thoughts about ebooks. Share your thoughts in a comment.

I’m in Love with Volya Rinpoche

I never expected to fall in love with Volya Rinpoche, a bald, squarely-built Russian monk who dresses in gold-trimmed maroon robes and sandals, has skin the color of acorns, and is a world-renowned spiritual leader and author. Neither did Otto Ringling, the narrator of Breakfast with Buddha, Lunch with Buddha and Dinner with Buddha, a trilogy of mind-bending, possibly life-changing novels by Roland Merulo . But who could resist that heart-melting smile, that endless compassion and infectious laugh? His naïve observations and whiplash fast “wessons?”

But wait. Nothing kinky here.As the story begins, Otto’s whacko, forever hippie sister tricks him into taking a road trip alone with this monk, her latest love interest. As miles and days pass, their relationship grows and Otto decides the Rimpoche is “the real deal.” Between volumes, monk marries sister, plots thicken, and Otto evolves. The novels are poignant in places, hilarious in others, always thought-provoking, and sublimely well-written. Otto’s acute observations on history, geography, philosophy and food are meticulously detailed.

I’ve always encouraged students of lifestory or memoir writing to read widely, to read like a writer, to find authors whose style they admire and immerse themselves in their work. Roland Merullo is my new hero behind the page. These digital volumes are full of pink highlights for exquisite description and gold ones for powerful points.

Although these volumes are clearly fiction, drawn from Merullo’s fertile imagination, they read like memoir. They are among those remarkable titles I occasionally find that convey Truth in concentrated form, more potent than most actual life experience could support. I consider them a prime example of the power of the fiction alternative.

The Buddha books came into my life at the perfect time (who believes in coincidence?). Over the last few months our nearly completed move from Pittsburgh to Austin has become unexpectedly complex and stressful, full of fretting and fear and second-guessing. I was convinced I had neither time nor the concentration to read. In spite of these self-imposed barriers, a book with a Buddha title slipped through the cracks.

I didn’t have time to not read these books. They reminded me of wisdom I’ve accrued over at least forty years, much of which I’ve ignored for the last many. They reminded me that I’ve largely fallen away from soul-enriching practice. They reminded me we can choose our reactions, our thoughts. Along the way, they altered and added perspective. I feel better now, stronger, and ready to forge ahead! Thank you Roland Merullo!

This is not the first time books have restored or enriched my soul and nudged me around corners. Should I include any of these time periods in a memoir, for example this move, it could not be complete without mention of these three books and their influence. I could take things further. Pat Conroy, perhaps best known for his novel, The Great Santini, wrote My Reading Life, a themed memoir devoted to books that have molded and shaped him.

What better time to snuggle down and read than these days of early darkness, of golden leaves and frosty mornings? Find an author you love and read ‘til your eyeballs cave in. Make highlights in ebooks. Put sticky tags in print ones. Collect heart-stopping phrases and notable elements of structure.

Write on: start a list of books that have affected your life and thinking. Write about these in your journal and develop your thoughts into an essay. Add a few of your favorite titles to a comment, as a tribute to the author and a beacon to fellow writers.

Tips for Dealing with Details

Several pages into a highly recommended memoir, a factual error popped my eyeballs nearly out of my head. Can you find the mistake?

In September 1963, the Cuban and Russian governments placed
          nuclear bombs in Cuba.
In October 1963, the Cuban Missile Crisis ended….
In November 1963, John F. Kennedy was assassinated.
In December 1963, I was born….

The Cuban Crisis was in 1962! Both that event and the JFK assassination are indelibly burned into my memory. The author can’t remember, I thought, but how could something this obvious slip by the editing involved in a traditionally published book? I checked Wikipedia to be absolutely sure, then kept reading. Along the way, I found half a dozen typos, and by the time I finished, I’d found several loose ends in the story along with an apparent contradiction.

But still, I do appreciate the book and its many strengths. The story is powerful and the author’s voice superb. I understand the book’s appeal. The mess saddens me on the author’s behalf.

In one sense I felt vindicated that such casual editing was released by an established publisher when self-published authors are widely slammed for flooding the market with slop. But the point is to write your personal best, not to meet standards.

Whether you are writing a few stories for family or a major opus for the world, these guidelines will help you smooth wrinkles in your stories.

Check your facts. Always validate times, dates or places, if you’re sure you know. Those erroneous dates for the Cuban crisis may be accepted as factual reality by younger readers. Your error about a birthplace or date could throw genealogists into a tizzy years down the road.

Look for loose ends. They may be subtle. For example, this author doesn’t mention how she generated income, but despite a divorce, she spent money like it grows on trees. She says she remarried. To the man she had the amazing relationship with?

Look for conflicts. She reports reflections of someone with her son’s name who met a celebrity she was about to meet. It makes no sense that her young son would have met this person before she did, or that he would relate such a mature impression. Ebooks make searching easy. No other person with that name was mentioned at any other time. Confusing!

Look for missing information. She cites results of certain studies with assurance. The topic is new to me and I’d like to read more. I don’t need footnotes, but I’d love to see an appendix with references and suggested reading.

Rely on beta readers. You aren’t likely to notice loose ends or missing information, because you fill in the blanks from memory as you read. Even family members may gloss over omissions like these. Discerning readers who aren’t privy to the backstory will pick them up in a flash.

Don’t rely too heavily on professional editors. I don’t know what shape this manuscript was in when it arrived on the editor’s desk. Perhaps she did as much as she was able in the time allotted to meet deadline or budget. Maybe loose ends fly under her radar. If you are paying for editing, remember that more time means more money, so have things in the best shape you can before you seek help. Professional or not, nobody is perfect, and any given reader will fail to notice something. Have two or three more people read for further edits and errors after the formal edit is done.

Be gentle with yourself. Readers love this book in spite of its flaws. Write great stories, give them your best shot, and then chill. If you pour your heart into them, readers view mistakes with compassion – if they notice them at all. Many won’t.

Write now: if you don’t already have a writing group or a list of trusted beta readers, find or start a group and begin a search among friends, local or online, who can read pre-release versions and give you reliable feedback.

Avoiding Editorial Disasters

What I would have to say in the review is "Stop the press and finish the book!”

When I agree to review a book, there’s an unstated contract that my glowing review will help promote the book. If I can’t ethically do that, I won’t write the review. I tell the author “I don’t think you want me to review this book. Here’s why.”

I made the notes below a couple of years ago to clarify my thoughts before emailing the author of a book I did not review.

… focused too tightly on few weeks when marriage finally died. Lacks background information. No sense of bigger picture. Doesn’t quite make sense. Seemed like her family wanted to knock some sense into her. His behavior not acceptable, but not egregious.More back story needed for context and less space documenting her helplessness.

…NO mention of physical affection during trial reconciliation  beyond briefly holding tight to him at beach and a couple of peck-on-the-cheek kisses. “Holding hands” in bed? Bizarre! Story is about the relationship. If they had sex, she should say so and tell how it affected her. If not, say so. Details are irrelevant, but avoidance creates gaping hole.

… She mentions money several times but no details. There is some, apparently hers, but ? His mother knows things he doesn't. Readers know only that we don't know. Ditto for details of her moving out of their shared apartment. Lots and lots of loose ends. Irritating!

The real tragedy is that this book was professionally edited – or at least the author paid someone for that service. Can you imagine anything worse than spending a sizeable hunk of cash on editing that results in this sort of reaction from readers?

Use these guidelines to help you avoid this sort of tragedy:

Seek input from at least half a dozen astute readers. Instead of or before you find a professional editor. Remember that friends and relatives know your story, so they may not see holes that strangers notice right away.

Look beyond your circle of writing friends. Much of my most helpful input has come from people who hate to write. Many book club members have highly developed critical abilities. They can spot plot flaws, awkward wording, inconsistencies and other areas for improvement.

Learn about various types of editors.

• Developmental or structural editors point out missing back story, loose ends and other flaws such as I mention in those notes above.
• Line or copy editors revise awkward wording.
• Proof-readers check for typos and similar errors.

Seek developmental editing help first. Don’t waste time polishing words in a story that needs major revision. I suspect the author I mentioned above used a line editor when she direly needed a developmental or structural one.

Check references. In .03 second, Google will find you tens of thousands of “professional editors”. A far better plan is to seek referrals from people you know or friends of friends. When you find a likely candidate, ask for contact information for authors they’ve worked with. Of course they will only give you names of happy clients. You should know that a startling number of authors are not satisfied with the first editor they work with and end up paying two or three.

Have others read the manuscript again after the professional edit is done. The author I mention above might have found out about those flaws before the book was in print if she’d sought more post-editing input.

YOU own the story. If anyone’s input, professional or otherwise, goes strongly against your grain, ask why they suggest what they do, then you decide. This is your story. Don’t be bullied. And don’t rashly reject input.

Consider your goals and budget. Who are you writing for? What are your sales goals? What can you afford to spend? If you are primarily writing for family and friends, input from people you know may be enough. If you dream larger, look for a qualified pro. But never spend more on book production than you can afford to write off. Don’t quit your day job and don’t spend your retirement fund.

Bottom line: In my opinion (and that’s all this is), a large team of astute readers can give you excellent results and are often enough for a superb story. If you have the money and inclination, professional editors can be worth their weight in gold, and working with one is an educational experience. Use due diligence in selecting one if you decide to go beyond what your circle of readers can help you with. And never rely on any one person’s opinion, no matter how qualified.

Write now: Make a list of people you know who might be willing to read draft copies and give you feedback. Keep this list growing, with the commitment that you will return the favor by reading for others.

Busting Buttons

If there’s anything as satisfying as laying eyes and hands on the first print copy of a book I’ve written, it’s having the same experience with a friend’s book. Especially when I know how hard that friend struggled to make the book happen. Thus I whooped with joy last week when Ellen Dehouske handed me a copy of We Feed Each Other: Nourishment through Friendships, her “memoir of sorts.”

Joyful tears filled my heart as I beheld this substantial volume with the strikingly gorgeous cover and lovely layout. I had witnessed many of the labor pains preceding the birth of this book.

I first met Ellen about three years ago when she took an Osher Life Long Learning class I taught at the University of Pittsburgh on writing description. Subsequently she began attending the Life Writers group that meets at the Monroeville Public Library twice a month.

I’ve known for a couple of years that Ellen had resolved to write this book, but I did not fully comprehend what she had in mind. I only knew it was a tribute to the vast network of loyal friends who have stood by her through trials and triumphs. She brought dozens of component stories to the writing group, seeking and receiving input on how to make them better. I’d seen her writing transform from awkward to amazing in the process.

I’d also known that food was a theme and she was asking each friend to contribute a favorite recipe. To my astonished delight, she asked me for a picture and a recipe.

What I didn’t realized was how those isolated snippets would weave together to give such a comprehensive view of Ellen. This volume is a tightly focused memoir with dual threads of food and friendship highlighting her personal transcendence.

Gratitude for friendship shines through bright and clear, framed within roles friends played in her life. She grew up without a typical family. Her father died before her memory kicked in, and when Ellen was three, her mother began a thirteen year stay in a mental hospital. Ellen and her younger sister were raised by a succession of emotionally distant relatives.

Thanks to a scholarship, she graduated from Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, later earning a PhD in early childhood development. She retired as Professor Emerita from Carlow University. That was not a smooth path. Ellen was hospitalized four times with mental disorders. With the support of friends, she found legal counsel and retained her job when Carlow laid her off after she was hospitalized.

A combination of talk therapy and psychotropic drugs have kept her stable and productive for decades now, and she shares her story as witness that mental illness is just that – illness, much like heart disease or diabetes. It isn’t contagious or scary, nor is it a reason for avoiding contact with the afflicted. Her story is a beacon of hope to mental health patients and their families. Hopefully Ellen’s testimony will build bridges of understanding.

Her story is not a sermon. It’s a carefully crafted journey beginning with a bleak girlhood that nevertheless had rays of happiness penetrating its pallor. It continues through turbulent seas of four melt-downs, ending with profound professional and personal success.

Ellen did not accomplish the miracle of this book on her own. She honed writing skills in classes and groups. She learned to streamline sentences, substituting precision words for rambling phrasing and rearranging awkward sequencing to make them flow. She streamlined stories and used an ingenious menu content to shape her story arc.

She paid for editing and layout help and commissioned an artist to do that brilliant cover. Not only is it gorgeous and eye-grabbing, it’s powerfully symbolic. The significance of the spoon seems obvious at a glance, next to the title of the book: We Feed Each Other. The overlay of tiny icon photos makes sense: this is a book about a friendships. As soon as you begin reading, in the second paragraph of the preface (which you can find in the Amazon preview), she tells of a Jewish allegory of Heaven and Hell, using spoons as the determining element.

One of the most poignant features is that even with all the editors and feedback, Ellen’s unique voice shines through, ringing loud and authentically true.

Write now: click this link to Amazon and read the allegory in the Preface to Ellen’s book. Then ponder myths, legends and tales that might crystalize the essence of an element of your life in a similar way. Free write or journal to get clear on what that element is. Find a writing group, take a class, do something to firm up your resolve to write YOUR story.

Brain Thorns

“All sentences are not created equal.”

That sentence jams a cactus into my brain, triggering wild buzzing and a whirl of obsessive thoughts.

Even if the story I’m reading is sweet and beautiful as a cactus blossom, when I hear any variation of “All men are not tall”,  my brain revs up like an angry hornet. I know the intention: to contradict the clearly false idea that all men ARE tall. The literal meaning of that sentence is that no men are tall. Obviously that’s as false as the initial statement. The world is full of men of a wide range of heights.

The accurate meaning is “Not all men are tall.” Or, “Men are not all tall.” But hey – I know you could find a better way of stating that within the context of your story.

I saw that opening sentence in a review of  Jenny Davidson’s book, Reading Style: A Life in Sentences. The review quotes that inflammatory sentence from the first chapter of Tankard’s book.

How, you ask, would I edit that sentence?  That’s a fair question. The real message of that sentence is better stated in the second: “Some (sentences) are more interesting, more intricate, more attractive or repellent than others.” I’d omit the first entirely.
But then I’d have to address the fact that neither sentence has anything to do with the rest of the lengthy paragraph. Oh my!

I would not write off a book based on a single sentence, no matter how annoying, but that sentence triggered my "the rest of this better be extraordinary to overcome that transgression” button, and I just showed you that further exploration did not stand the book in good stead. Had that brain thorn not been there, the awkward paragraph probably would have slipped by unseen.

Brain thorns tend to poison a reader’s outlook. Hopefully my rant will prevent you from planting this thorn in your stories, even though I may be the only person on earth vulnerable to its sting. Write what you really mean and your stories will sing.

This is only one example of a multitude of brain thorns. This one is personal and stabs deep. Awkward writing and sloppy checking, like typos, missing commas, or confusing I/me or its/it’s are less distracting to me, but thorns nevertheless.

Are you aware of brain thorns as you read? Join the conversation and tell us about yours in a comment.

Right now: Delight readers by using Grammar Check to remove brain thorns from your writing. Grammar Check is often wrong and can be a distraction if you leave it turned on, but do run it before your final save. Find its location on Word’s Review tab  ribbon and use it to check a few old stories. You may be surprised what you find. Ask trusted friends or your writing group to check for thorns that slip past your eyes and Word’s functions.

The Book I Wish I’d Written (and May Yet)

What greater praise can an author give a book than to say “This is the book I wish I’d written!”? That’s the praise I heap onto Marion Roach Smith’s book, The Memoir Project: A Thoroughly Non-standardized Text for Writing & Life. How can I count the ways I admire this book? I’ll list a few:

1) She had me laughing the whole way through. Her rainbow of material covers the tragi-comic spectrum, but even the tragic has an amusing twist. I adore her off-the-wall humor and perspective. She nudges me to look at life from even more corners.

2) She walks her talk. She constantly illustrates her key point of writing with intention (that being focus at the closest range) by using short annotated clips of her own material. Many of these are items that have never fit anywhere else and finally found a home in this volume. Quite amazingly, she sticks to the point so tightly that she covers her material a mere 112 power-packed pages.

She also holds to a a primary tenet of memoir by closely framing her material and not attempting to cover the full gamut of all aspects of the writing process. She sticks to finding your story and framing it sparely, making every word count.

3) She brings fresh perspective to key points I hold dear. We both urge people to use small cards to collect story ideas. We both urge all writers to carry writer’s notebooks to record those ephemeral observations, thoughts and other gifts of the muse that are fragile and fleeting as soap bubbles. We both firmly hold the belief that there is no right way to write, although she’s a bit firmer on urging people to stay in one place and I tend to wander.

4) She has cleverly disguised a memoir. In my opinion, this book is at least as much memoir as instruction. It’s an ideal combination of using snips of life experience to illustrate writing principles. Her entire approach simply oozes with creativity.

5) She eschews writing prompts. I always read and admire them in other books, but use them only when they ring my bell to write something real. But wait. I do benefit from briefly considering whether they work for me. So I’ll stick with Write now: prompts on at the end of each post on this blog. I’m quite sure most readers use them as thought ticklers and suggestions and seldom actually write.

6) “What’s this about?” I can’t cite a page or copy in a quote, but this key question seems to permeate the material and is a key take-away focus for me. It’s not a new idea. I’ve included some version of this concept in a pile of previous posts. But the fresh emphasis is timely and the key to the tight focus she propounds.

I initially waited months after requesting a copy of this book from the county library system. When it finally arrived, I read a couple of chapters, then returned it and ordered my own print copy. This is a book I want to refer back to. It’s a book I want to wave in front of groups and quote from. It’s soft and feels good in my hands.

In the final analysis, I realize our two books complement one another well. We take rather different perspectives and cover different ranges of material. On balance, hers has more heart focus, mine more craft. So I suggest that if you already have a copy of The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing, you absolutely want to place The Memoir Project on the shelf right next to it. If you don’t have either one, order both!

Meanwhile, visit her website and subscribe to her excellent weekly blog.

Write now: leave a comment if you’ve read this book and tell us what you especially like about it. Or write a comment about how you use scraps and snippets of memory that don’t fit longer stories. Write a vignette about such a memory.

Seasons of Our Lives

Today’s post features Seasons of Our Lives, an innovative series of anthologies that include writing tips with each story. These anthologies evolved from contests run on WomensMemoirs.com. by co-founders Matilda Butler and Kendra Bonet. Matilda and Kendra are excited to be launching the series today, February 1,, with a limited time special offer you won’t want to miss. Details are at the end of the post.

Matilda Butler introduces the series in the following interview. In keeping with the books’ structure, she includes a short writing tip at the end of each answer.

SL: Matilda, could you explain how the Seasons of Life series came about?

MB:  For several years, Kendra and I have run contests on WomensMemoirs.com covering all kinds of topics. Last year we decided to have four contests, each focusing on stories from one season.

We ended up with hundreds of truly wonderful and touching stories. Kendra and I found ourselves laughing sometimes and crying others. Many of the vignettes evoked memories of earlier times and experiences. We realized that collectively these stories spoke about all our lives, not just the lives of the authors. So with that in mind, we set to work to create four ebooks, one for each season, that would be available through Amazon.

TIP: Every year there are a number of contests you can enter. Make sure you understand the topic, the rules concerning length, deadlines, etc. Then do the best that you can...write, read, edit, read again. Read it out loud. You won't win every contest. But don't let that stop you from trying. Details for our contests are at http://womensmemoirs.com/contests/.

 SL: Did you have a target audience in mind for the volumes in this series?

MB: We always tell our students that the correct answer to such a question is not: "Oh, everyone." So we thought about your question when we put these four ebooks together. We believe they will appeal to women because these are stories of women's lives, stories that we think will resonate with other women. And although we have some young writers, most of our stories are written by Baby Boomers (plus or minus about five years) so that also puts a general age bracket around our readers.

TIP: No book (or ebook) will appeal to everyone, and the more focused you make it, the more readers will enjoy it. The point of view, the level of language, the types of details you include are all shaped by your intended audience. For example, if your stories are just for your daughter, then saying "Aunt Mary" may be sufficient. But if you want to share them more widely, or if you hope they will be passed on to future generations, then say something like, "Aunt Mary, my father's younger sister, ..." Keep your intended audience in mind when you write.

SL: Each of these stories is a delight in its own right, and you and Kendra have added a fresh and unique feature. At the end of each story you point out specific features and strengths that turn it into a writing lesson. What inspired this innovation?

MB: Because Kendra and I coach women who are writing their memoirs, we thought these stories could provide exemplars for other women who want to (or who can be urged to) write their own lifestories. Across the four volumes, there are 100 stories and 100 short lessons, one tied to each vignette, designed to motivate and inspire.

The mini-lessons cover a wide range of topics valuable in memoir writing such as: creating a memoir title, crafting a powerful opening, linking openings and closings, choosing point of view, incorporating sensory details, adding character descriptions, showing (not telling) emotions, using dialogue effectively, understanding how time and place can be used in tandem or as stand-alone elements, making word choice a priority, discerning the different impacts of present versus past tense on the reader, considering vignette topics to write about, choosing between letting the reader figure out the story behind the story or spelling out all the details, and much more.

TIP: When you read memoirs, make notes on both what you like about the way the story is written and what you don't like. For example, consider the openings of the next three memoirs you read. Do they equally engage you? Which one do you like the most and why? Making notes keeps the ideas fresh even if there is a period of several months between reading memoirs. The notes become a learning course you create for yourself.

SL: Do you plan further series such as this one?

MB: We have a second series already started that combines great personal stories with recipes. We're calling them Memories Sweet and Savory with one each for Breakfasts & Lunches, Dinners and Sides, and Desserts. We have so many yummy dessert stories and recipes (yes, we think a story can be yummy) that we may end up creating two for that category. We think of the memoir vignette as the core of these volumes and the recipes as the bonus.

SPECIAL OFFER DETAILS

As a special  introductory offer, today, February 1, beginning at 8 am PDT, all four volumes of the Seasons of Our Lives series are on sale on Amazon's Kindle Store countdown special for just $.99 each for the first 53 hours. The price will go up $1 each 53 hours until it reaches the final price of $3.99 per volume.

Seasons of Our Lives: Spring
Seasons of Our Lives: Summer
Seasons of Our Lives: Autumn
Seasons of Our Lives: Winter

Matilda Butler is the award-winning co-author of the collective memoir Rosie’s Daughters: The “First Woman To” Generation Tells Its Story, Second Edition, Writing Alchemy: How to Write Fast and Deep and other books. A psychologist, online and in-person memoir coach and writing conference speaker, she writes and teaches in the Willamette Valley of Oregon and Waikoloa Beach, Hawaii.

Not Just for Tweens

If a random person had handed me a copy of Shannon Hale’s novel, Ever After High: The Story Book of Legends, I might have flipped through the pages and admired the stunning design, skimmed a page or two and handed it back unread. I would not have known what I was missing.

Fortunately for me, the person who handed me the book was Sarah, the granddaughter mentioned in the two previous posts. This book moved into her life, luring her away into remote corners of the house and keeping her up half the night.

When Sarah finished reading the book, she began talking about it in fascinating depth and detail. She mentioned that the characters were the children of fairy tale people like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Prince Charming, and a long list of others. These charmed children all attended Ever After High the boarding school for all descendants of legendary characters. In a keystone event, second year students ceremonially claimed their legacy and pledged to relive their ancestral stories to keep those stories alive for the world. Should they refuse, the story and all characters in it would go POOF!

Sarah was intrigued by the fact that Raven Queen, the daughter of the Evil Queen (who poisoned Snow White), didn’t want to relive her mother’s life. She explained that the book was about Raven’s adventures as she made up her mind whether to sign the pledge. She loaned me the 300 page book to read, but reclaimed it when I was only 50 pages in so she could read it again herself. I was so intrigued that I downloaded the Kindle version.

I quickly discovered that this book is masterfully crafted, multilayered and rich, and definitely not just for kids. Raven’s struggles with self and with others are heroic, her insights profound. The issues she struggles with – personal identity, self-determination, and more – are epic and universal. Every page sizzles with action.

The part that gave me goose bumps was the insight about Story and its power to shape lives. Raven helped all the other characters, both royal and common (yes, they did have discrimination issues there), see that they are the masters of their own stories, something precious few adults in today’s world realize. They are not bound by the past – they can write new versions. They are free to write their own “Happily ever after” stories with an entirely new cast of characters if they wish. In fact, they write stories forward as well as recording the past.

That message fits perfectly with the noblest mission of memoir: process the past, pick your own path, and write a bright future.

There’s so much more to be said about this book, about finding and following Truth, about Story and differences, and many more things, but I’ll leave it to you to read and discover as you wish. I’m grateful this astute young lass convinced me to read it.

I was thrilled that Sarah was eager to discuss the book and already seemed to understand that she doesn’t have to live like anyone else, that she can invent her own life. She was excited that the book put this hunch into words and brought it to life for her. She has many years to map out and edit her “blueprint” story, and a lot more years to revise as she goes.

This book may shape her life in some small way. Isn’t that what we all hope for, that a book, a story, even a few words we write may shape someone’s life? That can happen, but only if we write!

Write now: take a cue from Ever After High. Spend some time considering how closely you are bound to the story lived by one of your parents or other relatives. Write a few stories about the similarities between you. Explore aspects of your story you’d like to change, then write a new story with the direction you prefer. Share that story if you like, or tuck it away and let it work its magic, leading you along the path you wrote of.

Don’t Call Me Mother

Linda Joy Myers’ memoir, Don’t Call Me Mother, is a rich read for many reasons, and one you won’t want to miss. Aside from the gripping storyline and heart-warming ending, her brilliant description makes the story blazingly real and compelling. Her technique is worth studying.

For starters, she uses evocative phrases like “The silent air between them heats up like a hot wire” and “I fall asleep wrapped in cottony dreams, breathing in the scent of my mother.”

She uses emotions and perceptions to convey a powerful sense of her inner life, for example,

They all stand around as if there’s an elephant in the garden everyone’s determined to ignore. Bernie stands back, her dark eyes flicking back and forth.

She masterfully uses action as a descriptive element, for example

Afterwards, Mother and Gram talk-fight all afternoon, chain smoking until the room fills with gray. Edith drops a bowl on the floor; Blanche pokes her finger with her embroidery needle. The men try to take refuge in outdoor work, but Mother follows them for a flirtatious tour of the mink pens, a scarf over her nose.

She includes intangible elements — what she senses or reads between the lines, and what she is feeling.

On the last day at Grandpa’s, I feel shaky inside, already missing them.

I have a lump in my throat as Bernie helps me pack the tiny doll clothes she made for me.

It’s clear she doesn’t want to know too much, and I’m sure the truth would worry her. I sense that she’s genuinely grateful that Gram is taking care of me because she simply wouldn’t know how.

Most of us find it challenging to get back into moments that happened maybe fifty years ago fully enough to capture details so vividly, so I’ve asked Linda Joy to share tips she has found effective.

Memoir Writing Tips from Linda Joy Myers

1. Research the sensual details—weather, location, setting, temperature, sound, sight—of your memoir. I went back to Oklahoma during the early summer to see if what I remembered about the wheat—the color, the landscape, the smell—was the same. It was!
2. Genealogical research helped me to get the names and dates straight in my memoir—and I did it before ancestry.com came onto the scene. Good old fashioned research from primary sources like courthouse records can reveal surprising details.
3. Write, rewrite, and rewrite some more. As I wrote my book, I had to surrender to the writing and rewriting process, and came to love the fact that a revision meant I could "see again" what I'd written before, and make the world I was creating on the page more real and well-rounded.
4. Once you get the "facts" clear that you want to share with your reader—otherwise known as your "truths," you look for poetic and metaphorical language, a fresh way to see what you already know, and bring it to the page. Don't be shy about this. Close your eyes and use your imagination, tune into your right brain, and write.
5. If you have dramatic moments you remember from childhood—in my case it was the feeling and sound of the powerful trains that brought and took away my parents—research these details as well so you can feel them again in your body. I would stand near train tracks, while preparing to take the train!—and absorb the feeling of the train's arrival, feeling much as I did as a child, exhilarated, vibrating, bowled over by its power. That helped me to write about trains with a refreshed sense of experience.
6. Think of yourself as a painter, and the writing, especially description, as the paints and colors on your canvas. Visualize each scene in full color, choose your words as if they are colors.
7. If you are writing from a child's point of view, close your eyes and remember as much as you can from being a smaller, more vulnerable person. Look at photos of when you were small. Notice how delicate and small children are, even at age 8 or 9.
8. Write from photographs—evoke all the emotion you can to drive you through the powerful scenes in your memoir. Remembering, imagining, and dreaming are close cousins.
9. Fall in love with your Thesaurus. I went over every paragraph with it in hand, and looked up lots of words to find the best fit that was evocative.
10. Be willing to feel tired, discouraged, and then buoyed up by the writing process. You need to have the long view about writing a memoir. Some days it's fun, and other days you just feel the weight of it all, but in the end, it's all worth it!

Thank you, Linda Joy. Your story is so compelling I know nobody will want to stop to analyze as they read, but writers can use your list as a short course in description writing as they scan back over the story a second time.

Linda Joy Myers, PhD, is Founder and President of the National Association of Memoir Writers and author of The Power of Memoir and other books. Visit the NAMW website and read her blog, Memories and Memoirs.

Write now: write a short story and incorporate at least four of Linda Joy’s tips as you write the description in it. Use these tips to revise an older story.

How (and Why) to Review a Book

“The best way to derive the maximum benefit from reading a book is to write a review!”

I continually urge students in all classes I teach to review books they read, explaining that doing so will turn their reading into a self-directed writing workshop.

Like many people, I always equated writing book reviews with those detested book reports we all had to write during our school years. Not so! Since rising to a challenge a few years ago to begin writing reviews, I have taken great pleasure in posting more than 70 reviews on Amazon.

Reviewing books has given me a new level of appreciation for the craft of writing. I read memoir and fiction first for pleasure, engrossed in the action and passions of the story, then double back to analyze. I’m usually more analytical when reading non-fiction, informational material. If I’m reading a print book, I use sticky flags to mark interesting passages for later consideration. I highlight passages in eBooks. When I finish reading, I go back and look at flagged or highlighted elements along with factors such as

• what made it work (or not)
• story structure
• how the characters are developed
• how backstory is woven in
• how dialogue flows
• how the author uses description and words
• which passages lit my lamp
• who I recommend the book to

I make notes on the elements listed above and use these as the basis for writing a review. In the review, I cite what I especially appreciated about the book, what worked well for me, and if I wasn’t thrilled with it, I mention why not. I have occasionally noted that popular, prolific authors have made obvious factual errors, a form of arrogance that rubs me the wrong way. 

This process has not only enhanced my reading pleasure, my (re)writing has improved tremendously as a result, and I don’t know how else I would have gained as much insight into structural options.

Most people agree that reading and taking notes has value, but they are reluctant to take that next step of formalizing a review. These three reasons may answer that question for you:

• It’s great writing exercise, giving you practice in organizing your thoughts
• It builds community among readers, especially on Goodreads.com
• It’s a great way of showing your appreciation to an author for taking the time and making the effort to entertain, enlighten or educate you. Book reviews are powerful promotional tools for authors and the one tool authors can’t create for themselves.

If you are only going to post one place, Amazon gets the most exposure. It’s simple to use, though a friend recently admitted she had not figured out the process. In case you are also flummoxed, here’s the drill:

You can only post if you have an Amazon account, and you must order at least one item before your account is authorized for reviews. This is to protect the world against unscrupulous people who might open 195 accounts under various names to skew ratings with ******  or * reviews.

After logging on to your account, find the book page, and scroll almost down to the bottom, past any existing reviews, to find the Write a customer review button.

• Click that button.
• Click the appropriate number of stars at the top
• Enter a title for your review (anything other than the book title)
• Paste the review you’ve carefully edited in Word (or whatever) into the review window.
• Click “Preview your review” below that window.
• Read once more as a final proof.
• Click Edit to return to the previous window or Publish review to finalize it.

You can post the same review other places. Barnes & Noble welcomes reviews, and authors love to have reviews posted on Goodreads. You need to have accounts for both Barnes & Noble and Goodreads in order to post there. Watch for “post a review” clues and follow them on either site.

Write now: find a book you’ve recently read, or finish a new one. Use the guidelines above to make some notes, then write a review. Post it on Amazon, then open an account if you don’t already have one and post it on Goodreads. Repeat fifty times and watch your writing take wings. 

Writing Compelling Description

The Heart and Craft family of fine publications has expanded. Today marks the official debut of The Heart and Craft of Writing Compelling Description.

Chapters in this book may sound familiar to some. Each of the forty-eight chapters appeared as a post on this blog. Many may wonder why I published this book when all the content is available online. Here’s the story.

I already had a short anthology of description-related posts that I’ve used in various ways over the past few years. One gray January day, I whimsically decided to transform that document into a $.99 Kindle short. I thought it might take … maybe three hours. That was three months ago!

Many of my favorite posts were missing, so I sorted through nearly six hundred posts. Forty-eight made the cut. Next I shuffled them into some semblance of order, checked for dead links, and double-checked permissions for graphics. Sharing on a blog  the public can read for free is one thing. Using images in a for-profit publication is another. Some had to be changed. The posts needed more editing than I realized. A volunteer team of friends and writing group buddies offered  remarkable suggestions and the quality improved.

As I struggled with the introduction, I had an epiphany about the entire process of writing description:

Description is anything that shapes the reader’s perception of your message or story.

That insight blew out the walls of  my boxed-in concept of description as adjectives, similes and metaphors, opening a universe of creative options I had not previously noticed in those posts as I wrote them.

As the collection grew, friends convinced me this project had outgrown the original $.99 intention. They wanted to have a collection of those posts at their fingertips where they could easily refer to them, so I crafted a print version and turned to Amazon’s free CreateSpace publishing service as my printer and distributor.

During the ensuing weeks, various cheerleaders, with Gutsy Sonia Marsh at the fore, held my feet to the fire to develop a cover everyone was happy with. Writing group friends helped with content edits. Thanks especially to Elizabeth Kim, Carol Broz and Tom Imerito. How I valued their help with the book description! Who thinks about these aspects of publishing?

Hillary Clinton coined the phrase “It takes a village.” That phrase is equally true of publishing. Anyone can write a book, but it takes a village to ensure it’s a solid, well-written, well-crafted book the world can benefit from. I especially appreciate enthusiastic “beta readers” who have (or soon will) post reviews. I can’t begin to describe the sense of elated humility I feel as I read those reviews and personal comments.

The biggest differences between publishing this book and The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing (released seven years ago) is that this time I made final decisions on everything, and I control the business end. Even that book was a non-traditional experience. Although the earlier cover was professionally designed, it built on my concept, and I did all layout – an unheard-of arrangement when working with a traditional publisher. I love doing layout!

Controlling graphics for eBook conversion had a steep learning curve. I’ve now tamed that beast, and I can save you a lot of time if you ever need to know the secret.

Thanks again to all who have helped along the way, and I hope everyone else finds as much value in this new volume as you have!

Write now: I invite you to click over to Amazon and use the “Look Inside” feature to read the introduction to The Heart and Craft of Writing Compelling Description, and skim the reviews. Then either buy a copy of this new book and write a review. Or find a book you’ve recently enjoyed and review it. Reviewing is the best way to find hidden insights you missed on the first reading and milk even more goodness from the volume. It builds community with other readers, past and potential, as well as the authors.

Purple Crayon People

Who doesn’t appreciate people who come along with a purple crayon and draw a door in the wall you’ve been beating your head against? Or points out the image you hadn’t noticed in the clouds overhead? Mentors wield purple crayons for us as they help us stretch and grow and see the world in fresh, new ways, and that’s especially valuable to writers.

Kathleen Pooler celebrated her third blogaversary with a post on The Magic of Mentors. The post includes a short video in which she interviews three of her own mentors, and I’m honored to be included, along with Linda Joy Myers and Jerry Waxler. Kathleen’s post includes a transcript of the highlights of the video.

One of the points I made in the interview is that many of the mentors who have had the most profound influence on the way I view the world and the way I write are people I’ve met only between the covers of an endless parade of books. I’d like to celebrate a few recent finds:

Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi take top billing with their amazing volume, The  Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression. These brilliant women convincingly demonstrate that emotions play a crucial role in moving a story along and fleshing out characters. After covering basic concepts and tools, they explore 75 leading emotions in exhaustive detail, explaining how people experiencing each one looks, feels, behaves, moves, and more. Even if you never write a word, this book will increase your awareness of emotion in yourself and others.

 Lisa Cron lights my brain with findings in her recent volume, Wired for Story: the Writer’s Guide to Using Neuroscience to Hook Readers from the Very First Sentence. Although Cron cites second party reports more often than technical ones, her findings seem intuitively obvious, reinforcing the importance of Story as the operating system of the human brain. Even without the neuroscience label, her thoughts on story structure ring true and inspire a few reaches and edits.

In Vex, Hex, Smash, Smooch: Let Verbs Power Your Writing, Constance Hale does for verbs what Ackerman and Puglisi do for emotions. You don’t have to be a writer to appreciate this book. Hale includes a linguistic survey of the history of language and how English in the USA came to its present form. You don’t need to read this book in order, or all at once to enjoy its benefits. You don’t need to read all of it. Skip the academic portions if they seem ponderous and stick with the milk of her simpler explanations and exercises.

Roger Rosenblatt is my latest mentor, and he covers two bases in Unless It Moves the Human Heart: The Craft and Art of Writing. In this remarkable volume he uses the memoir form to take readers inside his mind as he teaches an class (actually a composite from his experience), pointing out to the class what makes a story vital and compelling. As both a writer and a teacher myself, I derived double benefit from the book.

Perhaps most interesting is the fact that although Rosenblatt’s writing in the first chapter is definitely substandard (what are “French eyes?”), the value of subsequent material redeemed the weak beginning, and reviews show that at least some readers are willing to make allowances. Still, the fact that the intro wasn’t smoothed out makes me wonder if perhaps HarperCollins can no longer afford editors and shows that even renowned veteran writers need them.

I’ve often pointed out that reading the work of other writers can make your own stronger. While it’s important to read memoir and novels, it’s doubly valuable to include inspiring instruction such as that provided by these gifted and insightful mentors-in-print who wield mighty purple crayons and show you how to use your own.

Write now: leave a comment to tell us about one or more of your favorite mentors-in-print. This doesn’t have to be an instructional book such as ones above. I could have included Janet Fitch’s remarkable novel, White Oleander. Fitch continues to serves an an inspiration and example of remarkable writing for both voice and structure.

Your Journal: a Treasure Chest of Memories

Amber Starfire is a valued colleague who shares my passion for life writing and photography. Her recently published book, Week by Week is a treasure trove of tips and prompts to supercharge your journaling. (Read my review here.) In this guest post Amber gives tips on how to get even more value from past entries as you work on lifestories and memoir.

Journal writing is good for so many things: sorting out problems, recording life events, healing, self-reflection, and personal growth. Often, we process events and emotions in writing and then stack them on a shelf or in a box and forget about them. We rarely make use of our previous entries.

So, what would you say if I were to tell you that your journals are full of precious memoir-writing gems just waiting to be discovered? Journals are wonderful places where images, metaphor, sensory details, as well as stories about events, people, and places are mixed in with the emotional ups and downs of daily life.

Try this: Browse journal entries from a previous year or month with an eye to noticing images you've included. Do any specific, seemingly inconsequential details strike you now? Something that stays in memory? Perhaps you wrote about seeing the cat cross the hallway during the time of the event, or the way the sunlight slanted across the living room floor, or the teapot on the table. Perhaps a particular detail carries emotional resonance: the lift of your mother's eyebrow, the pain in your son's eyes, the sparkle in a little girl's eyes. All of these images have significance—or you wouldn't have recorded them. The trick may be to understand why they were important enough to write down.

Once you find one of these gems, here are a few journaling prompts and ideas to help you dig more deeply into its meaning.

• What sensory details (smell, sound, sight) are included in what you wrote? What emotions and/or associations with other memories arise as you read that passage?
• If the image or scene involves action, write more now about that action, adding as much detail as you can remember. What part of the action carries the greatest emotional charge—is most fulfilling, dangerous, scary or exciting?
• What does the image/memory represent? For example, you might associate the image of a red skirt with defiance. The metaphor then is, defiance is a red skirt. You can then play in your journal with ways to extend that metaphor. For example, When worn short and daring, it may reveal more than you intend, or it shouts to be noticed.
• Is there a person in your memory to whom you assign that image—someone who wore a red skirt? Make a list of that person's physical and psychological characteristics. How many of these characteristics relate to that image, and why?
• Do a word association exercise with a word that stands for the image. For example, if you wrote about the force of the wind on a particular day, you might use either the word "force" or the word "wind." Write the word at the top of your journal page. Then quickly write down the first word that pops into your head. Write the next word, and the next. Keep writing words, without censoring (it's okay to repeat), until no more words come into your mind and you feel quiet. Then look over the list of words. What do you notice about the list as a whole? Does it have a mood? A color? A shape? Does it make you think about something else that happened in your life?

Ways to mine your journal entries for memoir writing, and ways to use your journaling to reflect upon significance of those entries are infinite—limited only by your willingness to engage your mind and imagination. Try a few of the ideas listed above, or create your own. And please leave a comment about what you discovered.

Visit Amber’s website to subscribe to weekly blog updates and sign up for her free 4-week email Journaling 101 class. She will be the featured guest on the May 18 NAMW Member Roundtable: Journaling for Memoir Writers—A Short Course in Writing Deeply. Read more on the NAMW website.

Rejection Was Not an Option

Guest Post by Jonna Ivin

Jonna Ivin used Amazon’s CreateSpace service to self-publish her  memoir, Will Love For Crumbs. In this invited guest post you will read the inside story behind her decision and her experience carrying it out.

When I was first asked to write about my experience in self-publishing, the thing that kept running through my mind was, “I have nothing to add on this topic that hasn’t already been written about. Knowing this going in I decided to do what I always do when faced with a new challenge, write from my own experience and write the truth.

The truth is, when I finished writing my memoir Will Love For Crumbs, I didn’t have the first clue what to do with it. I knew one thing for sure, I had no desire to write letters to publishers, wait to be told I could submit a few chapters then wait some more, maybe be told I had been accepted and then spend more and more time waiting for my book to finally be released. Of course I knew all along this process that the possibility of rejection would hang over my head. But rejection was not an option for me. That was the second thing I knew for sure.

I figured the best way to avoid being rejected was to not ask to be accepted because If I didn’t ask permission then no one could tell me no. It was the first time I was completely prepared to call the shots in my own life, well, maybe not prepared, but determined. Being firmly set on knowing what I didn’t want, I then focused on going after what I did want. What I wanted was to see my project through to the end. I wanted to hold a printed copy of my book in my hand and know that I had finished what I said I was going to do. For me the decision was simple, I would self-publish. But where to begin? I knew nothing about self-publishing, but what I did know was as long as someone out there had done it before me, then all I had to do was follow their path. And so I began to Google it.

I read everything I could on self-publishing and most of what I read kept leading me to Amazon. From there I learned that there were two options, Kindle and paperback. I went for both. Why not? I had nothing to lose. I won’t go into the actual step by step process because Amazon and CreateSpace have already laid it out much better than I could ever explain it. I simply took each step one at a time and did what the instructions told me to do.

I was alone at the office late one night when the moment came for me to hit the publish button. I was nervous, excited and I’ll admit, a little scared. Okay, a lot scared. I’d written about the most personal parts of my life and now all of it was floating around cyberspace for anyone to read. I was terrified people would actually read it, but even more, I was terrified that they wouldn’t. I posted a little blurb on Facebook announcing to my friends and family that my book was available, then drove home, crawled into bed and went to sleep, once again having no idea what the next step would be.

Will Love For Crumbs began selling a few copies a day, and I was slowly building up my social networks, adding friends, joining groups and participating in conversations. I think it’s really important to be strategic when participating on social media sites. Most importantly you must be “social”. Going in and flooding a site with links to your book is not only boring, but most often annoys people. I put my focus on memoirs and relationships and when I found interesting articles or books on these topics I reposted them. I’m always looking for new ways to reach a wider audience and supporting other writers is a great way to start.

I also took advantage of the KDP Select Program to offer my book for free. Valentine’s Day was approaching and I thought since my memoir is called Will Love For Crumbs it would be a funny tie-in to the holiday. I offered free downloads for three days, using the tag line of, “Don’t worry about your crappy love life – read about mine instead.” During the promotion there were over 21,000 downloads of my book. I was beyond thrilled with the results.

I’ve been asked by some people, “Why would you give away your book for free? Aren’t you afraid of all the money you’ll lose?” My answer is always the same, “I didn’t lose anything. Those 21,000 people would have never even heard of my book if it hadn’t been available for free. I would gladly give 100,000 copies of my book away. The whole point for me is to reach the widest audience possible and in order to do that I have to reach beyond family and friends.” And it worked. After that weekend I began to get more and more reviews on Amazon and Goodreads which continued to lead to more sales. I began to receive numerous friend requests on Facebook, opportunities for interviews and guest blogs but more importantly readers started to reach out to me to say that I had written a book that described how they had felt and what they had experienced in their lives. That alone is worth any number of free books.

My best advice to anyone who is thinking of self publishing is to just go for it. Write the best book you can and then throw it out into the Universe and see what comes back. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain, the playing field is even. No one can tell you no and rejection is not an option.

Write now: Read  a guest post on Memoir Writer’s Journey about Jonna’s experience with writing her memoir, read my review of Will Love For Crumbs, and visit Jonna’s  website and Facebook page..

Does Practice Make Perfect?

This question came to mind when I read Jody Hedlund’s blog post, Do Writers Get Better the Longer They Write?” I like her conclusion, and want to add to it.

Her question reminded me of the old adage,

Practice makes perfect.

Added to this adage is a truism some noted author of the stature of Steven King (maybe it was him … I’ve forgotten) stated: “You can’t call yourself a master of the art of writing until you’ve put in 10,000 hours.” Or was it 10,000,000 words? The point was, it takes a lot of practice to become a masterful writer.

What’s the truth of the matter? Practice does not make perfect. The practice of perfection makes perfect. This evolution of the concept came about when sports gurus discovered that basketball players who visualize sinking 100 perfect shots each day improve significantly more and faster than those who physically shoot 100 baskets a day for the same length of time. Shooters make plenty of bad shots. Visualizers never miss.

Obviously if you want to improve your writing, you’ll need to do more than keep your fingers moving. Jody Hedlund has an important suggestion regarding finger movement. Here are three for the “more than” angle:

Read the work of great writers of memoir and fiction

Rather than repeating tips in a previous post, I’ll add to them:

• Pay attention to how the writer uses description and dialog.
• Notice the structure of the story. How is it unique?
• How does the writer manage the pace of the story and the flow of tension?

Look for ways to incorporate what you learn into your stories.

Practice awareness

Make it a practice to monitor your internal state and notice how you feel in different situations. What body cues do you experience? How do you physically respond? How might your behavior or speech change? Incorporate this awareness into your story for a sense of authenticity and develop connection with readers.

Pay attention to the world around you and use idle moments to explore fresh ways of describing what you notice. Look for unexpected links and connections. You many not have thought of it this way, but this is a form writing practice.

Play with words

Go back over your drafts sentence by sentence and think of the words as building blocks. Question each one. Does it add value to the sentence? Is it as precise as it can be? Would rearranging the words make the sentence flow more smoothly?

Bottom line

The key element in each of these tips is attention, which is another way of thinking about visualization. Basketball players visualize that ball sliding directly through the center of the rim and their muscles record the sensation of putting it there. When you read, you are developing a sense of what good writing looks and sounds like. That’s the writers equivalent of knowing what the ball looks and feels like going into the basket.

Paying attention to your surroundings and visualizing great descriptions is the same as shooting mental baskets. Mental writing can be as valuable as moving your fingers.

Playing with words draws upon the insights you derive from reading. Slowing down and paying attention to what you have written allows you to exercise your new insights.

Jody Hedlund urges you to challenge yourself. So do I. Add to her challenge the challenge of becoming ever more aware and attentive.

Write now:  Read a great book, write a review of it, think of descriptions of your surroundings as you move through your day, and/or play with the words in a favorite story.

Photo credit: Max Barñers