Ritergal’s Birthday

Heavens to Betsy, today is Ritergal’s birthday, and  I just realized she is a teenager, In fact, she has been a teenager for a couple of years. That could explain a lot of things, but I won’t go into that. In honor of her birthday, she’s my guest today, sharing her flash memoir, previously unread and unedited by me:

That woman, the one whose fingers I’m using, thinks I’m only fifteen, and she thinks she calls the shots. Little does she know. I’m ageless. For several decades I lurked in a hidden closet of her soul, just beyond her awareness, waiting for the right moment to make my debut. In 2000, the time was finally right. The turn of the century signaled the coming of age of both the Internet and my lovely hostess’s relationship with it.

In 2000 She found the ThirdAge.com site and soon discovered that she could build her own website on it, for free. Back in that pre-Facebook era, people were leery of revealing their true identity online, and many adopted web names. She thought she made up the name Ritergal – sometimes she claims her muse Sarabelle gifted her with it. The truth is that I took that opportunity to step out of that closet and onto the Third Age stage she built for me.

The fun part of this story is that she thinks Sarabelle gifted her with an extra name, a costume of sorts. She wrote a post about that ages ago. I know Sarabelle well, and she was in fact in on this ruse. While it’s true that Sarabelle did introduce me, in a whisper as our hostess rightly proclaims, Sarabelle didn’t bestow the name on Her, she introduced me.

Sages that we are, Sarabelle and I have known the secret of Point of View for ages. We know what we know, and we know that it suits us to let Her believe her version of the story. I’m perfectly happy to let Her believe she is me or vice-versa. Let her enjoy this benign case of paramnesia. We all win.

But a teenager I am not, and that fact explains nothing about me. Considering the stage of our relationship, it might explain a lot about Her. But do understand, I am not complaining. She treats me well and we get along great. She’s a great sport when I decide to have fun – I think she’s secretly glad. I do what I can to help and support her. In fact, most of the time I enjoy acting like a responsible, mature (as long as that doesn’t mean stuffy!) human being. It’s a good cover.

She celebrates my birthday. I celebrate Liberation Day and my anniversary with Her. Hey, Sarabelle, party’s on!

Count me in on that party. Oh, wait … did anyone look at the calendar today?

Write now: in honor of April Fool’s Day, write a spoof of some aspect of your life. Make it an open-ended spoof so nobody’s quite sure at the end. Let them wonder. It’s not too late if you read this after April 1. Write it anyway and have fun doing it. Play is strong meat for anyone’s soul, and it’s essential for writers.

How and Why to Write about JOY

This advice to talk about our joys struck home with me when I saw it the other day. Not surprisingly, I immediately thought how it applies to writing – specifically to life writing – and how happy stories spread joy.

In The Heart and Craft of Lifewriting, I discuss the way many people tend to shy away from discussing success and joy.

“I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging,” some people say. “I don’t people to envy me,” or “I don’t want them to think I think I’m better than they are,” or “I don’t want to make people sad because they missed out.”

These are valid concerns. Compassion for the feelings of others is important. But let’s look at the flip side, at what is lost if you soft-peddle success and happiness:

You are only writing part of your truth. If you are writing for posterity, or for the world at large right now, your success is part of who you are. Surely it’s something you’re proud of. Let them know.

Happiness keeps your story authentic. People who know you’ve achieved something, financial or business success, a happy marriage, or some other positive state will know something’s missing if you downplay the sunshine in your story. It tends to come across as false humility and lack of trust. This is, of course, assuming you were happy. Not all stories are, though we do hope for a glimmer of happiness by the end. Add it where you can.

Reading about how you achieved success, happiness and joy inspires others. We hear and read about gloom, doom and suffering constantly in the media. We need to hear good news. It gives us hope!

People can learn from your example. Explaining in more detail or less how you managed to achieve your fortunate condition may provide a clue for others to follow your example.

Writing about happy things is good for YOU! A quick web search will verify that simple lists in gratitude journals help dispel or fend off depression (in at least some cases) and generally improve your state of mind. They help you stay positive and foster creativity. You don’t even have to share the contents or turn them into story to get these benefits.

Have I convinced you to write some joy? Hopefully into your story? Follow these guidelines:

Include shadows with the sunshine. Everything brilliant emerges from some sort of struggle or stretch. Tell of the tribulations and challenges you encountered along the way. Report feelings of fear, doubt, or dismay. Don’t leave out your concern about not wanting to brag.

Be honest about jubiliation. Who would believe you weren’t popping champagne corks, real or figurative, when you got that big promotion?

Give credit where credit is due. Nobody scales Mt. Everest without a team of Sherpas. Give your Sherpas credit.

Use humor. Poke fun at yourself. This doesn’t mean putting yourself down, but keep both heart and fingers light.

My latest book, Adventures of a  Chilehead, is the story of my life-long love affair with hot chile. It’s full of humor and joy, and I had a ball writing it. The capsaicin in chile releases endorphins. Writing about those happy memories released more. So remember some joy, write yourself happy, and share that good stuff with the world.

Write now: write about a happy experience you shared with at least one other person and write that story in an email or letter. Send it to that person. You’ll both feel happy you did.

Fact or Fiction

Last week I had a bizarre experience that had me almost dancing down the street with secret glee. I wanted to write about it. I HAD to write about it. I had chill time in my schedule that day, so I stopped at a library and got most of a first draft on the page.

I decided at the outset that this story was too complex and personal to write as memoir, so I did the conversion to third-person point of view at the start. Aside from that, I stayed close to the reality of what happened. At t`hat point, I was the only active character in the story, and much of it was reflection and flashbacks.

I shared the result with a non-writer friend, mentioning that I knew the ending was lame. She made an off-handed suggestion for strengthening the ending. Oh, my! Her idea was like tossing a match into a pile of dry leaves. A 15,340 word story has grown to nearly 5000, and it's just getting started.

As I've continued writing, the main character has disengaged from “me” and taken on a life and mind of her own. The other characters are able to articulate her (my) thoughts that would be difficult to express and boring to read in memoir. Seven pages of reflection could put nearly anyone to sleep.

I’ve adopted the attitude of “Accuracy be damned, and all sorts of new ideas are tumbling forth. As I ponder what one or the other character will say next, breakthrough insights are coming to me that I probably would not have seen if I stayed in memoir, and especially if I didn't write at all. Besides, it’s fun.

These characters range from sassy to serious, nervous to nonchalant – all aspects of my reactions that I can split off and give their own voice. They can represent a wide range of emotion. They are giving me as many “cameras” as I need to create a holistic overview of this particular event.

One aspect of fiction is shared with memoir – as I said at the outset, this experience was rather personal, and it’s becoming way more so as the story develops. I ‘m writing right now for a readership of one, and may decide to keep it that way.

My bottom line discovery is that the power of memoir for personal exploration may be enhanced and expanded by turning to fiction– whether for publication, analysis, or pure fun. Furthermore, the longer I work on this story, the more real it becomes. Another few hours and I’ll be convinced it really did happen, just this way. This could have interesting implications for understanding memory and power to change your life.

Who has had a similar experience? Have you fictionalized a life story? Why? How did it work for you? Leave a comment and share your thought.

Write now: chose a story idea that you’ve been meaning to write about and write it as fiction. Tell is like you wish it had been. Add a few characters and let your various points of view reason things out. Let other people do things for you to reflect one. Have fun as you write and follow the story where it leads you. You may make some surprising discoveries.

Snippets

This guest post is reprinted by permission from Fresh Views, a monthly newsletter published  by Sharon Eakes, an internationally acclaimed  personal and executive coach and a treasured personal friend. Her focus this month on “snippets” is reminiscent of terms like watershed moments, turning points, or shimmering images used as story prompts and memoir organizers. You’ll be hearing more about snippets in an upcoming post or two based on epiphanies I experienced during a recent trip to Peru. 

Snippet: a small piece of something, a bit, a scrap, or fragment

THOUGHTS

I recently visited my daughter, Lisa, in California. Driving to the coast, we passed the Lagunitas Deli. I had a vivid memory of going there over twenty years ago on the way to a picnic. I asked the clerk, “Do you sell single rolls?” and he handed me a roll of toilet paper. “No, no, a sandwich roll,” I laughed. And he gave me the other kind of roll. Nothing worth remembering about that encounter, but I remember who I was with, the face of the clerk, our laughing together.

It seems to me that life is made up of snippets: scraps of time, memory, experience. It doesn’t surprise me that I remember the big highs and lows…the time I was climbing rocks on the beach and nearly got swept into the ocean when the tide came in faster than anticipated. The moments after giving birth. Of course, one would remember those. But it’s the small things, the snippets of memory or experience that entertain me on a daily basis.

• When my son Gordon was two, he asked me to remove a “crumb of light” from his crib. It changed light for me and I’ll never forget the phrase. It may also have been the first clue that he would be a consummate wordsmith.
  
• While on my morning walk last Thursday, a squirrel walked next to me along the top of a fence. At the end of the block we stopped and looked each other in the eye for what seemed like a long time before he skedaddled up a tree. For just a moment I felt genuinely connected to him. That reminded me of a time many years ago when a dolphin played peek-a-boo with me at the mouth of the Kiawah River for 3 mornings in a row!

This morning I was with friends who were sharing snippets. No complaining. No boasting. Just sharing. And being touched and tickled in turn.

I’m thinking we should write down some of our snippets, our stories. My grandfather did this, and I am so grateful. He lived in such a different time. Because I only knew him as a somewhat sedate older gentleman, it is delightful to know about the time he and his friends played a trick on their teacher by moving his buggy out of the garage and lodging it between two trees. Imagine their consternation when Mr. Brown turned out to be in the buggy they’d just moved, and said, “Thank you boys, I would have had to hitch the horses to move the buggy.”

COACHING QUESTIONS AND A SUGGESTION

1. How can you become aware of and treasure your snippets of experience as you live them?
   
2. What snippet in memory can you share to entertain both yourself and some friend or family member?
   
3. Write your snippets down or record them. Your family and friends will be glad you did.

Write now: think of a snippet or two of your own and share them in a comment on this post.

Visit Sharon Eakes on the web. Read previous edition and subscribe to Fresh Views here.

Photo credit:  Bert Heymans

Honoring the Simple Story

Everyone’s talking about memoir. It’s a hot genre to read, and definitely a hot genre to write. More people than ever come to writing classes with the stated intention of “Writing my memoir.” I’m firmly in the camp of those who support this intention, but with a caveat: few people who bandy the term around have any idea what it means, or the difference between autobiography, lifestory and memoir. 

As you can see from my oft-used “Tree of Life Writing” graphic, memoir is a complex writing form that draws on increasingly polished levels  of simpler writing. At the base is what I refer to as Raw Writing, a form that flows onto the page spontaneously and unedited. Its most structured form is journaling, which is generally kept in a volume for at least a period of time. Freewriting and rants may be discarded as soon as finished.

Although it is not included in the Tree image, autobiography is another umbrella form. Memoir is a slice of life, zooming in on a specific time period or topic. It is thematic and reflective. Autobiography tends to be documentary, concentrating more on events and chronology than reflection, and it covers your entire life to date of writing. Both memoir and autobiography are built from smaller component stories.

Stories and essays are relatively simple documents, focused primarily on a single topic or concept, and usually short in length. They can be as carefully edited and polished as you wish. They are well-suited for focusing on specific events, memories, or beliefs. They’re a perfect way for letting descendants know about ancestors and family history.

Memoir is the most complex mode, frequently composed of a mélange of short stories and essays blended into an integral unit. Scenes within the larger work are derived from stories – prewritten or freshly composed – and essay material may contribute to reflective elements.

I value and teach each of these forms, but I have a special soft spot for the simple story. I didn’t yet understand the full extent of the complexity and benefits of writing memoir when I wrote The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing, which zeroes in on short story writing basics, placing them within the larger context. Even in my expanded state of understanding, were I to begin it now, I would keep that focus. There is a certain dignity and power in a short, focused story.

Short stories are an ideal place for new writers to begin, and many experienced writers choose to stick with this form rather than moving to the more complex memoir. The thought of writing an entire volume of anything is enough to send most people running in fear. But a story … we all know stories. Writing a simple story seems doable. Nearly anyone can write one story. And then another. If you write one story a week, you’ll have at least fifty by the end of a single year. If you skip a week now and then, you’ll still have a respectable pile.

Once you accrue a few dozen, you may want to begin organizing and sharing them in collections I refer to in the book as “Story Albums.” These make great gifts. Although the album is  not a formal memoir, it does serve most of the same purposes, and is far easier to assemble. Depending on how you package it, you can continue to add stories, occasionally, or  as you write them. You’ll find general instructions for doing this in my book, and Linda Thomas gives easily followed specific ones in her most recent Spiritual Memoirs post.

You still have time to make such a gift for giving this holiday season, but you’ll have to get started soon.

 Write now: If you haven’t already begun to write, get busy and write a story about Thanksgiving. Use one of these ideas as a prompt: What do you remember about Thanksgiving as a child? How did your family celebrate? What did you like and dislike most? What vivid memories come to mind? What is Thanksgiving like for you and your family today? What has changed? What do you think and how do you feel about that?

Writing Your Traveling Life

Anna meets a wallaby in Sydney

Trips pose a challenge when writing life stories and memoir. If they took place decades ago, unless you kept a journal and/or lots of photos, you may have trouble remembering even such broad details as where you went. Ask me about that – I’m among your numbers. After many tens of thousands of miles on the road here and abroad, I realize that I go along for the ride and enjoy the scenery, but pay little active attention to where I am at any given moment. I have impressions, but few specific memories.

More than once I’ve left home with a blank journal, intent on capturing trip details. Maybe my mistake was capturing too many details. My good intentions always fell by the wayside within three or four days, but the notes I did write are terrific. Not even the pictures are much help, because we never got around to labeling them, and after twenty years, who knows which village was which?

Since the advent of digital cameras and laptop computers, this has gotten better. Now that I’m taking my own photos, I pay more attention to where I am when I take them. Photos are great memory joggers. But they aren’t quite enough. Words help. Labels are better than nothing, but a few notes are even better.

Now that wireless connections are available all over the world, often free, the situation has improved. While the day’s photos download from camera cards, I take a few minutes to write an email to people back home with details of the day’s events, highlights and observations. If I’m not online, I save the email and add to it each day until I do connect. Of course I keep a copy when sending. That lets everyone know, more or less in real time, what we are doing, and it serves as a trip journal for me.

Our daughter has taken this one step farther. She is in New Zealand this month and next with her family while her husband teaches at the University of Canterbury in Christchurch. Rather than trying to stay in touch by email or limiting contact to Facebook friends, she set up a blog and posts every couple of days, complete with several pictures. She’s not only sharing accounts of daily life down there, she’s serving as an ambassador for New Zealand with her humorous tales.

Everyone they know and hundreds more are following the adventures of the Mack family, and such adventures they are. The Chilean volcano ash cloud caused them to be rerouted through Sydney, Australia where they were delayed four days en route to New Zealand. After learning to drive on the other side of the road, they are learning their way around the massive earthquake detours in Christchurch. Their six-year-old daughter was attacked by an indigenous parrot in a wild-life park. Both girls are learning to ski (it’s winter down under). I’d love and follow that blog even if she weren’t my daughter, and you are all invited to follow it too.

There is one factor to consider before going this public with your travel reports. Security. She can do this safely because a house sitter is living in their home and feeding their great big dog. I don’t have this sort of protection, and my house is secluded in woods. I would not feel safe letting the whole world know I’m on the other side of it, so I’ll stick with emails to people I know and trust.

Write now: pull out pictures from a vacation and write about the trip. Tell it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. 

Turkey Delight

TURKEY DELIGHT

Twas nearly Thanksgiving and all through the house,

not a creature was stirring 'cept maybe a mouse,

The fridge held a turkey long since safely dead,

and visions of cranberries danced in my head. 

Then I glanced out the window and what did I see?

A full-feathered turkey looking straight back at me!

The turkey was perched aloft on our car,

I suppose it had flown there from somewhere afar. 

It returned to its preening with no further thought;

And I yelled for a camera to snap a great shot.

My mate came a running with shutter all set.

He set about snapping, each shot the best yet.

The turkey's head rose and down she did squat,

A gift she then left us, and not in a pot.

Ere long her four flock mates ambled onto the scene,

And the turkey decided to return to the green.

Her huge feathered wings spread open quite wide

to assist her ungainly hop down to the side. 

Then off the flock waddled, deep into the woods

In search of delectable dinnertime goods. 

I'll never forget this most wonderous sight

of the bird on our car I call Turkey Delight.

---

When I downloaded this recent picture from my husband's camera, it cried out for a story, and that story took on a life of its own, emerging in a totally unexpected way. I just relaxed and let it have its way with me. Who knows? Maybe Sarabelle was working her magic. Sometimes it's good to cut loose and play with our stories. I've always said I was born without the poetry gene. I haven't changed that opinion, but it's fun to dabble in different writing forms now and then.

Write now: think of a fun or wondrous event and try a new way of expressing it. Poetry. Song. Crayola. Write with your non-dominant hand. Use colored markers. You may be amazed at the creativity boost you get. 

A Funny Things Happened on the Way to My Blog

Photo by Fakelvis

I’m ready to write. My file is open, my fingers poised. But wait, I see the e-mail icon. I’m a dog and the bell just rang — watch me drool. I click to e-mail. Ah, it’s a good thing I did. That download I want to listen to will expire in four more hours. Better snag it! Hmm, while I have that folder open, I’ll slide it over to my Zen so I can listen later. Where did I put that thing? Oh yes — it’s in the kitchen.

As long as I’m in the kitchen, I think I’ll make a cup of tea. That will only take a minute, and tea helps me think while I write. Now, while I wait for the water to boil, I’ll unload the dishwasher. I didn’t get around to that earlier.

There, now my tea is too hot to drink, so I’ll take just a minute to put the cereal bowls in the washer, and now I’ll wipe the counters, and put the cinnamon away — Oops! crumbs on the spice shelf. I’ve been meaning to clean that mess, and it’s ant season. Better get to it!

Well, shucks. My tea’s cold. Oh well, I can drink it that way. Let’s get back to the writing.

“It’s for you!” Oh, that pesky phone.

“Hi Grandmama.”

“Hi Anna. How's my sweetie?” This call will take a few minutes, but in three blinks my tiny tot will be in college and I’ll never hear from her. Take it where you can get it.

“I’m hungry. Let’s have lunch.” I glance at my watch and head for the kitchen. We fix sandwiches and eat out on the deck. “I thought I’d go to Home Depot this afternoon. Wanna want to come along and pick up that paint you’ve been talking about?

“I need to write a blog post.”

“Can’t that wait until we get back?”

I guess it can. It’s waited this long. ...

Now I’m really ready. My fingers are poised, my mind is sharp. My mind will be even sharper if I work the daily crossword.

Omigosh! It’s nearly time to start supper. I’d better get this blog post written, because if I don’t, I’ll never get any writing done on the memoir project. Ten minutes. I’ll write for ten minutes! I promise me!

Now what was I going to write about? Oh yes, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Blog.

Write now: Make a list of all the things you do instead of writing. Keep track of them for a couple of days. Then tear up the list and write.

Mamma Mia: Memoir Model

Which came first, the Abba tunes or the musical plot? We all know the answer to that. The tunes in the musical Mamma Mia were hits in the years 1977-1982. Although the concept for the musical obviously came somewhat earlier, work on it did not begin until 1997, fifteen years after the last songs were released, and the movie wasn’t released until nine years after the stage play opened in 1999.

Anyone who has seen this musical surely noticed how the two dozen tunes integrate  so seamlessly with the plot that anyone who wasn’t already familiar with the tunes could logically assume they were written for the purpose. Aside from incorporating voices of the actors and slight adaptations to segue them into the plot in places,  changes to the original tunes were so minor as to be imperceptible.

So why do I claim this totally fictitious, over-the-top comedy musical is a model for writing memoir? Precisely because it takes isolated fragments of story (each song is a tiny story) and pulls them together into a coherent overall story, woven together with some added narrative to give setting, context, and consistent meaning. Furthermore, the songs are used quite randomly, not at all in the order they were written.

Some people plan and outline a memoir before beginning to write. That’s a reasonable and productive way to go about the project, but it’s definitely not the only way. As I point out in The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing, your story and your approach to managing writing projects are as personal as your finger print. You need to find your own style, honor it and stick with it. Probably more people begin by creating a random stack of completed vignette stories than by planning.

Mamma Mia, the musical or movie, is a source of great hope that you can consolidate stories into a larger memoir just as Judy Craymer and her team consolidated selected Abba tunes into a cohesive production story. And maybe you can have as much fun doing it, and find as much humor in life as they did.

It’s worth noting that Abba recorded over 100 songs, but only two dozen appear in the stage or movie productions. Likewise, if you have a stack of 100 stories, you’ll only include the ones relating to your specified theme or purpose for your larger story, keeping others as “singles” or material for a later project.

So, take a fun lesson from a funny movie and work on your own story.

Write now: check out a copy of Mama Mia from your local library (or order it from Netlix or wherever). As you watch, pay attention to the way the stories are woven into the story line, and how narrative provides the thread for holding these beads together. Then get out your pile of stories and cluster them into themes. When you find one you like, work on weaving the stories into a comprehensive whole.

Onerous Grammar Rules Suspended

Lifewriters of the world, rejoice. In response to growing pressure from writers overwhelmed by the economic crisis and other stress sources, leading grammar authorities announced that many basic grammar rules that have plagued people for centuries are being suspended.

“These demands came partly from the burgeoning Print-On-Demand and related self-publishing venues. Authors seeking to gain control of their own destinies feel unfairly burdened by the need to have professional editing. This decision will allow them to maintain their integrity and self-respect as they churn out material that would have been considered deplorable even last year,” reports publishing industry expert Sasha Greinhaus.

“We hope to make writing fun again for ordinary people," quipped Jack Merrigeld, a critic noted for scalding rebukes of the grammatically inept. "I have seen the light. I've become awakened to the power of personal choice and freedom of expression.”

Typical of the rules suspended include

• The need for complete sentences. Thought fragments are fine. Just get those words on paper.

• Comma regulations. "Commas have always been the most baffling and misused piece of punctuation. Authors should use them whenever they feel appropriate and let it go at that."

• Dialogue formatting. Don't worry about those pesky quotation marks, or where the commas and question marks go. Just write what you want to say and let the reader puzzle it out.

• Dangling participles. "You've probably remember this phrase from school days and have no idea what it means. Now prepositions are fine to end sentences with."

More about this exciting news can be found on the website http://www.aprilfool.com.

Write now: do some freewriting by these new guidelines which have always been appropriate for freewriting. Maybe you'd like to write about April Fool jokes you have enjoyed through the years. Whatever you write about, have fun.

A New Alphabet

I just discovered that SARK has a new blog, or as she calls it, her online journal. In a post last month I wrote about her new book, Juicy Pens Thirsty Paper. She’s just full of new things.

Like her books and e-letters, SARK’s journal brings scented pens to mind. Sometimes I lean toward my monitor and sniff to be sure, disappointed that I can’t actually verify the scent of a succulent strawberry, grape, blueberry, orange, and raspberry salad with a tangy lemon-mint dressing. My disappointment at the lack was forgotten when I played the audio file she posted. I won't repeat her whole story. The part that inspired me was her intention to start a new tradition of using only positive, affirmative words to clarify oral spelling. For example, A is for Awesome rather than Apple.

Just like that Sarabelle tossed me an idea: using this Affirmation Alphabet to spell names. This may not be a piece of writing you’ll want to share with the world at large. You may feel embarrassed to publicly display a poster such as this one.

But, why not make yourself one for your own private viewing? Or heck, make one, show it, and tell people a friend did it for you if you blush. If you need to warm up, use someone else’s name to start.

This exercise has at least three benefits. First, it’s a terrific self-affirmation. Write it and believe it. Show some positive attitude! This may not be life story writing, but it is life writing. Think of it as writing about your future ideal self. The self you are becoming.

The other benefit is that I guarantee nearly everyone will be reaching for a dictionary and expanding your descriptive vocabulary. Not all the words on that poster came easily to my mind. Ravishing took some digging, and I’m not entirely satisfied with it. I made this poster for a sweet three-year-old. But I might be bold enough to use it for my own poster.

The third benefit is that you’ll have a lot of fun. I haven’t played around with my doodle pens for ages. It’s about time. It’s fun. I think I’ll find a new place to keep them that’s easier to reach.

SARK is such a good influence. I’m not going to start writing everything by hand with a different color for each sentence and flourishes and squiggles everywhere, That wouldn’t be me. That would be imitation SARK. But I can find my own way. I might do my poster in a graphics program. I can get wildly creative there, far more easily than on paper. Or ... I’ll let my imagination run wild.

Thanks SARK!

Write now: your own name poster. And you don’t need to limit your selections to one word per letter. Live it up. Use five. Just make sure they are affirmative. Make a poster for a friend, or a grandchild. Make lots of posters and give them away to their namesakes. You can do for them what they may never dare do for themselves. You may find that you’ve developed a whole alphabet of affirmative words and you can help change the world as SARK is hoping.

Wishing for Do-Overs

I just read a blog post, Learn From Others' Mistakes: What Non-Best-Selling Writers Can Teach You on the Cute Writing creative writing tips blog I’ve recently begun following, and added to the links list. In the spirit of that message, I’m sharing selected humorous bloopers that just arrived in an e-mail. Although a good laugh is as good for your body as your spirit, that's not my primary reason for this list. I’m sharing it because things like this can slip into our writing as easily as speech, and they are easy to overlook when editing.

These purportedly are true comments made by sports commentators during the just-concluded Olympics. I'm pretty sure that I've seen most before, but whatever the original source, court-testimony quality validity isn't as important as the message.

• Dressage commentator: “This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.”

• Paul Hamm, Gymnast: “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”

• Boxing Analyst: “Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.”

• Softball announcer: “If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”

• Tennis commentator: “One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ... Oh my God, what have I just said?”

Let this serve as a reminder to have someone else read your work before you commit it to final copy and not to take yourself too seriously — those commentators have lifted the spirits of millions of people.

Some bloopers are funny and others are pretty awful. But unless repeating them would be cruel or hurtful, including an embarrassing moment or two in your stories keeps them real and honest sounding.

Write now: about an embarrassing occasion when your tongue moved faster than your mind. It may be funny or not.