Publish No Story Before Its Message Is Right

Color me perplexed. I’m having trouble getting a blog post right. I know what I want to say. I’ve said it a few different ways. A couple are eloquent, well-crafted. But I fear I’m in love with the sound of my own (writer’s) voice, and the message is still not quite right.

So what do I do? Post it anyway? You can tell by the gap between posts that has not happened.

No, I've come to a conclusion that applies to anything I might write — blog posts, emails, short stories or entire memoirs (not to mention novels, cookbooks, or any unpaid project that lacks an urgent deadline). This conclusion may also work for you:

IF YOU DON’T FEEL IT’S READY, 

IF YOU CAN’T QUITE MAKE IT WORK, 

WORK ON SOMETHING ELSE.

How simple is that? Back off. Write something else. Edit something you’ve already written. If you’re still not clear, try

• discussing the topic with friends.
• journal or free write about it.
• read up on the topic
• asking yourself, “What am I trying to say?”

In general, Give your problem piece space and before long, it will pop into clear focus. And if you write something else in the meantime, you'll at least have something to show for your time.

Photo credit: Ron St. Amant, shared by Creative Commons License

Getting Traction

Anyone can lose traction on a writing project. Anyone. Maybe a few ancient veterans of the writing world have developed immunity, but the other 99% of us, yes, that includes me, can lose our way (a version of that dreaded malady writer's block).

I’m surprised to find myself in this state right now. In mid-April I attended the Story Circle writing conference held here in Austin every two years and came home wired to write. Unavoidable distractions kept me away from my keyboard for several days and that flame began to wane.

My main, get-it-done-ASAP project was and is a rewrite of The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing, which sold out three print runs and has been left to rest in peace (you can still order used copies via Amazon). I did make a strong start on the new version for a couple of weeks.

Then a fantastic series of webinars on hosting online courses intervened. More than a dozen compelling videos were posted, but only for several days, so that soared to the top of my list. Each session or replay lasted nearly two hours not counting time for making notes and checking things out. More distraction. New ideas on courses (I hope you’ll be able to benefit from one of those late this year or early next) and additional ideas for the rewrite gushed forth as I watched. I felt highly creative. But ...

I was not writing!

So here I am today ...

• Weeding my garden. 
• Talking to neighbors.
• Folding piles of laundry. 
• Making salad for a family celebration. 
• Answering email. 
• Cleaning the shower.
• Writing this long-overdue blog post.
• Looking longingly at a tall stack of books to be read.
• Stopping to wrap and freeze yesterday’s chicken parts.
• Making fresh coffee.
• Contemplating my mending pile. 
• Rethinking shelf design for my office. 
• Feeling lost and overwhelmed!

I can fix this. I can get out of this sand trap and regain traction. Here’s my thumbnail plan for getting my wheels moving down a solid road:

• Spend ten minutes free writing about why I’m avoiding my project. Yes, I know the reasons, but writing makes thinking visible and seeing it on the page makes it real. Those obstacles become more manageable when I actually see them. (I just checked that off. You see the resulting list).
• Keep my Work In Progress (WIP) document open when I leave my computer and make sure it’s the only window visible  to minimize distractions.
• Create a prioritized ToDo list, including at least half an hour of writing every day! I can get a lot done in half an hour — if I know that’s enough.
• Apply the Swiss Cheese technique to write manageable chunks in those 30 minute windows. I slid into that sand trap when I allowed a much larger project concept to overwhelm me.
• Make and hang a small poster behind my computer to remind myself to write now, edit later. (Uhm, is this another distraction? More avoidance behavior? Perhaps ...)
• Make a separate list of random thoughts about all phases of my WIP.
• Keep a notepad handy for capturing thoughts while I fold laundry, weed, etc.
• Keep selected people posted about my progress. They'll keep my feet to the fire and help me stay on track. 

None of these are new ideas. All are included in the original book, and I've blogged about each many times. You may know and use several yourself, but sometimes we all need a whack on the side of the head to get back to basics, use what we know, and

WRITE ON! 

I must also mention that other things surfaced in that freewrite involving my Inner Critic and other dark things. But that's another story for another post. Points I included here are enough to hold the others at bay.

Now, I feel so much better for (a) having written this post and (b) having a plan. I’m inching ahead. This book revision has turned into a total rewrite, not just an edit, so it’s different only in content from a lifestory or memoir project. The process is the same. My tips will work for you. Give them a try and let me know how it goes. Send me an email or leave a comment. That will help you stay on track once you get those wheels moving.

Thoughts to ponder: What is keeping you from steaming strongly ahead on your WIP? Or from starting one? Which if the tips above might help you? 

Writing on a Hamster Wheel

I’m working on a complicated story right now. It’s total fiction, with no basis in my experience, and I’ve fallen into a trap common to writers of any genre, the hamster wheel syndrome. I know better than to do this, but I’ve been editing the heck out of what I’ve already written rather than forging boldly ahead to write the story. I know where it’s going – I’m just having trouble reading the markers along the path.

Yesterday I had a Skype visit with Ian Mathie, a prolific cross-genre author who pops out stories like a cat birthing a litter. Already this year Mosaique Press has released two new titles by him, making a total of six book-length volumes published over the last three years. This year’s first, Sorcerers and Orange Peels, is his fifth book-length memoir covering grippingly arcane experiences in a remote African village while working as a water engineer. The second, Chinese Take-Out, is a fictitious spy thriller based on valid history. 

As we chatted, I learned that he is nearing completion on two more novels and another memoir. When I mentioned my dilemma, he confirmed what I suspected: “... I just write the story and edit later.”

As much as I value Ian’s advice, this particular bit was old news. Who hasn’t heard some version before? For example,

• Write with your display off to avoid distraction.
• Write by hand.
• Set a time limit for cranking out XXXX number of words.

None of this advice addresses my specific version of the challenge. I do a lot of my writing when not at the keyboard. I think about this story constantly. What would I really do if I were in this situation? Or, How can I get them out of the campground at 4:30 a.m. without waking other campers? Or, Should they eat breakfast or fast? What are the forest service regulations about dogs in the national forest? Does El Sabio need to be on a leash?

This type of question is specific to fiction. If this were memoir, I’d know the answers. But even memoir writers have dilemmas about what to include and how to frame it.

A fresh start

This morning I sat down to write, determined to tackle new content, but wrestling with a few changes needed in earlier material that had become clear. Determined to capture them without spending another morning rewriting, I tried a new trick, writing the edit concepts down, like story ideas. I wanted them in the story near the relevant points. I could have used Comments in Word, but I hate the clunky way Word handles comments.

Instead, I inserted virtual sticky notes. These small text boxes have a pale yellow background, no border and a 2 point shadow on the bottom to make them look real – you know how sticky notes tend to bend upward just a smidge as you apply them. Right-clicking on the box border gave me the option of making this first one the text-box default for this document. To make them feel even more “real,” I created a style to make the text look hand-written. As a final touch, I changed the document layout from even 1.25 side margins to .75 and 1.75, making side margin room for these stickies.

After adding a few notes in the margin and using strike-out to indicate which paragraphs need to be deleted or revised, I forged strongly ahead with the story.

Who knew one little confession to a writing buddy could bear such powerful fruit? That rope he tossed lured me off the hamster wheel. Yes, I knew this stuff before, but sometimes we need a helping hand from a friend to use what we already know.

Write now: Seek advice from writing friends for dealing with your particular form of writer’s block. If the advice doesn’t fit, thank them anyway, and keep looking for a solution. Before you know it, words will be gushing again. Post a comment about your experience with writers block of various sorts, or send me an email. We need to pull together to beat this writing dis-ease.

Seven Tips for Relaxing into the Story

We all know the feeling: sitting at the computer, arm wrestling words, hammering away at drafts that aren’t working, feeling stuck, threatening to throw our computers off the nearest bridge.

This is the stuff of WRITER’S BLOCK.

Two metaphors come to mind when I think of writer’s block. One is the legend of Michelangelo, chipping away at a block of marble, removing all the marble that isn’t part of the image he perceives to be hiding within the larger block.

The other is of pregnancy. Stories are initially conceived within the womb of memory and mind. The initial draft of a story is akin to a newborn babe, requiring lots of tending and shaping before the child emerges as a self-sufficient individual.

Here’s some good news. While as with chipping away marble or birthing a child, a certain amount of energy and toil is required, you can keep it to a minimum. How?

RELAX INTO THE STORY.

You may have heard of the concept of writing in a state of flow, where your creative powers are at peak potential. Relaxing into the story is one way to achieve a flow state. The decision is yours, and with practice, it gets easier. Use the following tips to thaw the line when your creative flow freezes up.

Take a relaxation break. It doesn’t have to be long. Get up and stretch. Move around the room, or better yet, go for a walk. Take several slow, deep breaths, focusing and your breathing and feeling your body relax as you release them. Relaxing your body and distracting your mind, even for a few minutes, can loosen the flow of new ideas.

Take a shower. Dozens of writers confirm that the flow of warm water over bare skin turns on a fire hose of creative insights and solutions.

Switch writing modes. Take a section that baffles you and draft three or more questions about it, for example

• What am I trying to say here?
• What really matters in this section?
• Why am I feeling so stuck about this?

Write the question at the top of a sheet of blank paper or journal page, and write the first thing that comes to mind. You may be surprised at the answers that pour out of your fingers.

Switch to free writing about your draft. Before you begin, take five or ten minutes to sit quietly with a simple meditation exercise of your choice to clear your mind. If you don’t have a favorite, try focusing on your breathing. Then start writing with your story in mind but no agenda and see where the story goes.

Take Anne Lamott’s advice and “write a shitty first draft.” This is a great way to start, because you’ll know it can only get better.

Play with the story. Revert to childhood and play “Pretend I’m a writer.” Since you are “only pretending”, you aren’t accountable for results, so you can really let ‘er rip. Write wild and crazy, even if your story is real, and even if it’s as serious as a funeral. You may end up tossing it all out, but more likely, you’ll find most of the material is good. You may toss of a great fiction story as a by-product.

Put your feet up. Take a tip from the picture above. If you don’t have a laptop to work on with your feet up, try writing by hand on a clipboard.

You may have observed from the tips above that relaxation is a key component in each. If stressing isn’t working for you, just quit stressing. If you can’t quit stressing, maybe you need to quit writing for the moment. When you feel more relaxed, have another go at it.

Write now: find a draft you’ve abandoned because you got stuck. Pull it out and use the tips above to get it out of the mud pit. Or start a new story about a challenging topic and use the tips to get it rolling.

Purple Crayon People

Who doesn’t appreciate people who come along with a purple crayon and draw a door in the wall you’ve been beating your head against? Or points out the image you hadn’t noticed in the clouds overhead? Mentors wield purple crayons for us as they help us stretch and grow and see the world in fresh, new ways, and that’s especially valuable to writers.

Kathleen Pooler celebrated her third blogaversary with a post on The Magic of Mentors. The post includes a short video in which she interviews three of her own mentors, and I’m honored to be included, along with Linda Joy Myers and Jerry Waxler. Kathleen’s post includes a transcript of the highlights of the video.

One of the points I made in the interview is that many of the mentors who have had the most profound influence on the way I view the world and the way I write are people I’ve met only between the covers of an endless parade of books. I’d like to celebrate a few recent finds:

Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi take top billing with their amazing volume, The  Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression. These brilliant women convincingly demonstrate that emotions play a crucial role in moving a story along and fleshing out characters. After covering basic concepts and tools, they explore 75 leading emotions in exhaustive detail, explaining how people experiencing each one looks, feels, behaves, moves, and more. Even if you never write a word, this book will increase your awareness of emotion in yourself and others.

 Lisa Cron lights my brain with findings in her recent volume, Wired for Story: the Writer’s Guide to Using Neuroscience to Hook Readers from the Very First Sentence. Although Cron cites second party reports more often than technical ones, her findings seem intuitively obvious, reinforcing the importance of Story as the operating system of the human brain. Even without the neuroscience label, her thoughts on story structure ring true and inspire a few reaches and edits.

In Vex, Hex, Smash, Smooch: Let Verbs Power Your Writing, Constance Hale does for verbs what Ackerman and Puglisi do for emotions. You don’t have to be a writer to appreciate this book. Hale includes a linguistic survey of the history of language and how English in the USA came to its present form. You don’t need to read this book in order, or all at once to enjoy its benefits. You don’t need to read all of it. Skip the academic portions if they seem ponderous and stick with the milk of her simpler explanations and exercises.

Roger Rosenblatt is my latest mentor, and he covers two bases in Unless It Moves the Human Heart: The Craft and Art of Writing. In this remarkable volume he uses the memoir form to take readers inside his mind as he teaches an class (actually a composite from his experience), pointing out to the class what makes a story vital and compelling. As both a writer and a teacher myself, I derived double benefit from the book.

Perhaps most interesting is the fact that although Rosenblatt’s writing in the first chapter is definitely substandard (what are “French eyes?”), the value of subsequent material redeemed the weak beginning, and reviews show that at least some readers are willing to make allowances. Still, the fact that the intro wasn’t smoothed out makes me wonder if perhaps HarperCollins can no longer afford editors and shows that even renowned veteran writers need them.

I’ve often pointed out that reading the work of other writers can make your own stronger. While it’s important to read memoir and novels, it’s doubly valuable to include inspiring instruction such as that provided by these gifted and insightful mentors-in-print who wield mighty purple crayons and show you how to use your own.

Write now: leave a comment to tell us about one or more of your favorite mentors-in-print. This doesn’t have to be an instructional book such as ones above. I could have included Janet Fitch’s remarkable novel, White Oleander. Fitch continues to serves an an inspiration and example of remarkable writing for both voice and structure.

Red Ink, Green Ink: Stop or Grow?

Red is the color of danger, a universal signal to stop. The mere thought of red ink splattered on pages triggers fear, maybe a slightly sick feeling. Fingers freeze, brains block. Creativity comes to a halt.

Stop right there!

Rather than launch into a lecture on the Inner Critic you know so well, let’s look at a fun work-around for times when you are in a red-ink frame of mind.

Write with green ink.

Green is the symbol for “Go” and “Grow.” It’s a safe, nurturing color of fertility and creation. As odd as it may sound, whether you write on paper or the computer, changing your ink color can make a difference in how your words flow, but you must try it yourself to experience the power. Use a green ink pen, or set the font on your computer screen to green. While you’re at it, try a new paper color, on-screen or under your hand. You can find more information and instructions for doing this in an old post, Write It Your Way.

For yet another variation, with or without color change, try a new handwriting style or font. If you usually use script, try printing, or use a different slant, or different type of pen. On the computer, try a new font.

Playing with  color and fonts is easy to do, and you can quickly change back to something more traditional by editing the Normal style (or Text Body – whatever your default is) that word processing programs use to make sure everything looks the same. When you change it, you only change it for that document, so have no fear. (Check for YouTube videos to teach you everything about styles.)

It’s easy to find fun fonts for free on the web, but it’s also easy to get totally lost in a web of spam sites as you search, or you could click the wrong button and inadvertently install malware along with your free selection.

One site I like, that at the time of this writing is still immediately accessible and safe, is 1001 Free Fonts. I suggest clicking the Handwriting category found in a block near the top. That link will access eight pages of alphabetically arranged “handwriting” fonts.

The site has reliable links at the bottom to find yet  more options. Just pay extra attention to any download links. Sometimes it’s hard to find the actual file you want rather than some “downloader” program you neither need nor want.

As a general note of caution, when downloading anything, double-check each and every screen to be certain what you are authorizing before clicking “Next.” If it isn’t exactly what you expected, stop the process. There is usually some way to skip or cancel the “suggested” toolbar, download helper or other app that generates revenue for the provider of the free software at the expense of your privacy and system integrity.  If not, you really don’t want that free download – it isn’t free!

If you need help figuring out how to use the fonts you download, this site tells you everything you need to know about installing and using new fonts on any operating systems.

Even if you aren’t feeling stuck, try a new color and a new font to match your mood and add zest to your story.

 Write now: Have some fun. Download a handwriting font or two and install them on your system. Look around your page formatting options and find the spot to change your page color. Find a color you like, or maybe a texture instead, and set your font color to a nice strong green. Now you are ready to tackle a tough story. You can change it back to standard color and layout later if you want, but for now, try the green.

Stuck!

Sooner or later it happens to nearly everyone. This time it happened to me. I’ve been away, clear across the country away, at a family reunion to belatedly celebrate my father’s 90th birthday. But I’ve been back nearly a week.

Today I have to write a blog post. I’ve been telling myself. Today for sure, I will write a blog post. … I have to get that blog post written before the library group meeting. …  It’s late now. I meant to get something written. First thing in the morning, no matter what!

I stood at the sink, paying unusual attention to shining the sink. What will I write about? Many topics raced through my mind. I could write about description. I want to write about that. I’ll be teaching a class on description and dialogue again soon. What picture will I use?

I could write about that lightning storm that just struck. Storms are metaphors. I could write about metaphors. …  I could write about that book that’s been sitting on the living room table for weeks. …   I could build on that comment somebody out west made about how most people think their life is so plain and ordinary that nobody would care, so nobody writes about ordinary things and fifty years later nobody knows what was ordinary fifty years earlier.

The list of topic ideas seemed endless. I could and probably will eventually write about all those things. I might write about the spiral of guilt. I might write about the need to find that center of love and write from there rather than guilt.

So many options. And still I kept thinking, I’ll write that blog post as soon as I get back from taking that picture to be rematted … As soon as I fold the laundry … As soon as I get the leaves blown out of the front yard before it rains.

Eventually my Inner Critic kicked into high gear. “You are letting your readers down. … You get in there and write right now or else! … blah, blah, blah!” My reaction: “Try and make me!” Of course that didn’t help either.

I’ve gotten a whale of a lot done this week. It just hasn’t been writing. There is still an endless list of non-writing things to do, but my fingers finally found the keyboard again. Sometimes we just need a break. Sometimes it’s okay to feel stuck. I’ve been making that list of things to write about, so now that the tow truck came and pulled me out of the sand, I have a map to keep my wheels on the road.

Write now: write a story about being stuck. Have you been physically stuck in snow and ice? On sand? In mud? Did your car battery die when you needed to be somewhere? Were you unable to solve a math problem once upon a time? Fail to finish your crossword? Or maybe you’ve been unable to think of anything to write about. Write about that!

Image credit: Preston Rhea

Writing Your Way Out of the Dungeon of Despair

I shiver with cold dread at the sight of this picture. I took it myself four years ago, inside O’Brien’s Tower near the tip of the Cliffs of Moher in western Ireland. This day, our first full one on the Emerald Isle, was suitably dreary and gray, utterly mystical. Along with a sizable contingent from the much larger crowd of visitors staying within the official viewing area, we dared the “Beware of Bull” and “No Trespassing” signs to walk the mile or so out to the tip.

Since we had no guide, I could only speculate that the tower had been used as a dungeon. I felt trapped, claustrophobic and helpless in those confining walls, even knowing I could turn around and leave whenever I wanted. I felt frozen in place.

Recently a fellow writing group member mentioned that she was feeling stuck with her memoir project, and this picture came to mind. When she saw it, she immediately replied, “Yes! That’s it! That’s just how I feel — surrounded by dark stone walls on every side.”

Nearly anyone who takes writing seriously comes to such a point sooner or later. The five steps below outline a suggested map for finding your way out of the dungeon:

• Put your project on pause. You won’t make any progress until you resolve the underlying issues.

• Use freewriting or journaling to explore what’s holding you back. Begin with lists of whatever comes to mind when you ask yourself the question “What is keeping me from writing about (whatever)?”

• Use Dr. James Pennebaker’s method for exploring each item on the list.

• Continue journaling and writing until you find the “story” behind each obstacle. That story should result in a new perspective that sets your mind and heart at ease.

• Seek professional counseling if you can’t get unstuck by yourself within a reasonable time.

You don’t have to be stuck on a writing project to benefit from this process. I intuitively stumbled on it over thirty years ago and have been using it sporadically ever since. What a delight to discover that over 200 scientific studies have validated its power to bring improved physical health along with serenity and happiness.

My friend is exploring her blocks, but she claims she’s making progress. Although her current writing is private, she reports that she’s finding piles of new material to write openly about soon.

By the way, the process above result in a fascinating change of view such as I just experienced when I did some research on the Cliffs of Moher and O’Brien’s castle. I learned that it was built for the entertainment of friends, complete with a marble table, parties and pipers. Who knew? I can see it differently now, and the dread is gone.

Write now: make a secret list of things that may be keeping you from writing important stories from your life. These are the stories that can have the most impact in advancing insight and personal growth, even if you never show them to a single person. Simply making the list and shredding it can be a hugely liberating act.

Steps to Use Your Muse

 My muse, Sarabelle

Most of us have good friends. Some people have best friends. A fortunate few of us have super friends. I’m one of the fortunate ones. A couple of days ago I wrote a blog entry on A Los Alamos Girlhood about a discussion with a super friend. She has the amazing ability to pick up on things, and lay her observations on the table. She doesn’t back off either, until she’s satisfied her curiosity. Or unless I tell her I’d rather not discuss something, which has been known to happen.

In the case I wrote about, she picked up on frustration I hadn’t even realized I was feeling about my memoir. She drilled right down to the bottom with me, and I found what Karen Walker referred to as the Golden Thread of my story.

If you don’t happen to have such a super friend, or your super friend is busy when you need her, don’t lose heart. I’ll let you in on a secret that may set your story on fire: Make-believe friends are as good or better as flesh and bones ones.

I say make-believe, but I’m not convinced that’s the best word. I’m referring to your muse. I’ve had conversations with my muse Sarabelle that were equally as enlightening as the one I recount in that blog post. Here’s the way to do it:

1. Sit in a comfortable chair, with a paper and pen handy to make notes. You can pour a cup of your favorite beverage if you like. Picture your muse sitting in a chair near you.
2. Ask your muse to help you. Just start talking, like you would to any close friend. Tell her (or him — muses can be either gender or neither) what you’re thinking and what you need help with.
3. Sit and wait. Listen carefully until you hear an answer. It may come immediately, or it may take a few minutes. If two or three minutes go by, ask again. Some people need more practice than others.
4. Once an idea occurs to you, even if you don’t “hear” it in words, write it down, and keep writing until you run out of words. Ask follow-up questions, and keep writing. You’ll soon know your answer.

An alternative way to do this is to write a conversation with your muse in your journal. Simply write down your question, then begin a new line and start writing the answer. You may run into a new question. Write that. Keep going with the cycle. You may be amazed at the wisdom that flows out of your fingers. I know I often am.

Write now: think of a  story you are feeling puzzled about, or a project you’re feeling stymied on. Take your pick between a conversation with your muse or a written one in your journal. State your question and listen for the answers. Pop in with a comment and let us all know how it went.

Dare to be YOU!

What the heck has happened?Why am I having so much trouble writing? I asked myself these questions as I wrote in my journal this morning. In recent weeks I have noticed my writing has begun to feel stale and forced, lacking the joy I usually feel. Sarabelle has been conspicuously absent and I’ve been feeling boxed in, pressured.

As the answers flowed from my heart into my fingers, I discovered the reason. I’ve been trying to force my writing and even more so my workshop content into conformance with the examples of others. Not the expectations of others, but my own expectations of what people want to read and how they want to learn, and those expectations have been based on how other successful people are doing things. I also admit there was a tad bit of competition in there, and fear of being left in the dust. These emotions spring from my Inner Critic do not foster creativity and growth!

Before I write another word, I must emphasize that as Herm pointed out in a recent post, learning from Other People’s Examples and Experience is a brilliant way to avoid traps yourself. It’s well worth the effort to study what others have done and analyze what makes it work (or not), applying the results to your own work. However, beware lest you fall into the trap of imitation, the sincerest form of flattery, but a most insincere way of writing.

Posing questions and then beginning to write without thought or predetermination is a powerful way of gaining insight, and the technique came through for me like a magic wand. I quickly reconnected with my core identity of Explorer, one I’ve been aware of for years. I am an adventurer. I delight in discovering new places and ways of thinking and making connections between people and ideas from various sources. I take joy in finding new ways of doing things and overcoming obstacles. I love writing reports of my findings. I enjoy pushing my own limits and helping others do the same.

Formulas and detailed maps don’t work for Explorers. We must find our own way, sometimes using the latest technology and other times falling back on the basics, (like walking, chopping wood for a fire, or writing with pencil and paper). We read the situation and do what’s called for. We shun routine maintenance. We focus on climbing the current hill.

This thought-full re-vision rekindled my passion for the memoir I’m working on, and reminded me that I must avoid the trap of hammering my course content into someone else’s mold. That’s the surest way to bore students and stifle real learning.

So, I discovered that I do dare to be ME — my own unique, juicy, creative self . I don’t want to be responsible for running an empire with all the schedule anchors and promotion that involves; I want to travel light and write and teach footloose and fancy free. I invite you to learn from my experience, and dare to be YOU! Live and write your life your way.

Write now: pick up your journal or a handful of blank paper and write a burning question at the top. This question can be about your writing or anything else that’s puzzling you. Then free your mind of preconceptions and expectations and let the answer flow from your heart into your fingers.

Story Midwives

Some stories get stuck halfway out. Or they may not get out at all. We feel them stirring within, writhing and turning, kicking to get out, but the harder we try, the harder we push, the more tightly they stick in their spot.

I’d be terminally discouraged if I kept track of all the blog posts I’ve begun and eventually deleted because they just didn’t work. More often I am able to finish them, but only with considerable rewriting, rephrasing, and perhaps a few days of fermentation.

Sometimes when I’m stuck, it’s enough to sit back, breath deeply and ask myself, Just what is it that I’m trying to say? What do I want people to understand when I’m done? What is my purpose in writing this? These questions usually serve to pop things into focus.

The next level of action involves calling or e-mailing a friend, or consulting my resident idea-bouncing partner, aka Hubby. He’s especially good at extracting the kernel of meaning from my ramblings, and getting me back on track.

The most powerful tool of all is a writing group. My writing group will listen with great tenderness as I read awkward words, or struggle with a half-formed idea that just doesn’t want to emerge. They are patient and respectful and withhold suggestions until I’m ready to hear them, then I’m never surprised to hear one of them blurt out some seemingly unrelated nonsense that jolts everything into perfect focus and allows the story to flow unimpeded out of the darkness.

I call these helpers Story Midwives. The story that emerges is still fully mine, but they help bring it into the world, robust, thriving and fully formed.

You can find Story Midwives in writers groups, and you’ll also find them in classes and workshops. Many communities have lifestory and other creative writing classes available in continuing ed programs, and there lots more online, such as the NAMW writing workshops. A quick websearch will turn up other online classes and workshops.

Classes do way more than just function as midwives. The exchange of ideas and viewpoints in a good class weaves the wisdom of each person in the room into something larger than the sum of the parts and everyone leaves richer for the experience.

Write now: make a list of your writing buddies, real-time or virtual, and find a few new ones. Join a writing group. Take a class. Reach out and expand your writing horizons.

Joy Writing

Photo by Jurvetson

You know the image of the writer as a starving, tortured soul, each agonized word blurred on the page by sweat beads dripping from his brow. He writes in longhand, on a hand-hewn log desk, by candlelight, wrapped in rags against the wintry blast, with only a crust of bread to sustain his unworthy efforts, and page after page of tormented efforts are wadded into balls and tossed into the fireplace for a bit of added warmth. He makes frequent stops to sharpen the quill with which he writes or to fill the inkwell into which he dips that plume. He may occasionally resort to chopping kindling to gather his erratic thoughts, mind churning in sync with his stomach. In the depths of his heart, he knows these efforts will pay off. His words will be pressed upon millions of pages and stir the hearts of readers with passion second only to his.

You know the image. You may even relate to that image and fear to write because of it. I say to you now, forget it! It’s only a myth. Writing doesn’t have to be this way. Listen to your muse. Loosen up. Write for the sheer fun of it.

“Fun?” Your unspoken question reverberates even unto my heart and ears. Yes! I said fun. Joy. Pick up your pencil and take a joy break.

Maybe before you take write for joy, a little physical action is in order. When was the last time you zoomed around your yard, arms dipping and rising like an airplane? I admit this is not one of my daily activities, but I did try it last summer. I swooped around, dipping and diving, making airplane sounds. I marched like a majorette with knees rising high. I whirled and twirled, stopping just short of falling in a heap on the asphalt. After six or seven minutes, I felt loose as a goose, both mentally and physically. I felt young at heart, and considerably younger in body.

You can do the same thing indoors, moving wildly to magic music, something with a strong beat and lots of energy. For now, try it alone. Or blow some bubbles if you have a bottle around. Catch a few on your hand.

Now, you are ready to write. Start a story with “Once upon a time there was a little (girl or boy, your pick). S/he lived in ...” You take it from there. Make it wild. Transcend gravity. Fly. Swim under the sea. Leap tall buildings with a single bound. Be totally outrageous. Nobody is going to read this, unless you decide to share.

How did that feel? Why don’t you write this way all the time? Because your inner critic won’t let you, that’s why. Talk back to your critic (in my case, Gretchen). Say something like, “Gretchen, I know you have my best interests at heart, but I need a break. I need some joy. Please sit back, have some milk and cookies while I write. You can check it over later.”

By the way, your words will surely flow most freely if you write by hand, on paper, but that’s only one option. Do what feels write to you. Write it your way, with joy.

Start out with easy, childlike topics, and as you grow more comfortable, you’ll find it ever easier to write joy-fully, even about dark topics, knowing that your playful spirit will find the hidden blessing within. You’ll have a fresher attitude, less stress, brighter descriptions. You’ll knock away your blocks with a writer’s rush, and generally juice up your writing. Your writer’s voice will sing. But best of all, it’s fun!

Just in case you were wondering, this child-like joy writing originates on the creative, write side of your brain, not the reasonable, rational, linear left.

Write now: with joy. Follow the directions above and write something fun, like blowing bubbles and hopping inside one to travel away to a magical place.

Magic Spell to Brighten Dingy Gray Writing

Writing from an adult state of mind often results in dingy gray writing that has all the appeal of instruction manuals for installing dishwashers. The roots of gray writing go all the way back to childhood. Remember when you first started coloring in a color book? The day you made the sky bright orange and scribbled the grass purple and put pink leaves on the tree? And your mother looked aghast at your proud efforts. “You know the sky is blue. Why did you make the grass purple?” And you knew failure.  Even if you don’t remember, your Inner Critic was born that day, and life became a little less fun. So here you are now, wanting with every fiber of your being to amaze your family and friends with wondrous webs of enchanting words, and you sit staring at blank paper with your solar plexus squooshing your guts up into the back of your throat and you think of orange skies and you can no more write brightly blossoming words than fly to the moon.

TAKE HEART!
BE BRAVE!

Reclaim your right to chose your own colors. Release your Wild Child, listen to your heart, then color and write on your own terms. That’s the only way to amaze anyone with wondrous writing.

If you dare to try something zany, here’s a special magic spell Sarabelle taught me for keeping Gretchen out of my way. To cast the spell, you’ll need a medium-sized glass jar or drinking glass, your favorite pen or pencil and plenty of unlined paper (best for writing outside the lines, which this spell is all about). Place the jar next to your paper and pen.
Now, sit comfortably in your chair, ready to write, and rest your write hand on your paper. Place your other hand over your solar plexus (the soft triangle where your ribs begin to spread apart). Press gently and notice any sensation of tension or tenderness there. Close your eyes and take a deep, slow breath, filling your lungs comfortably full. Concentrate on the feeling of your breath entering your body. Exhale gently, relaxing and feeling peaceful as the breath departs. Feel your solar plexus relax. Repeat six times, feeling more calm and relaxed each time.

On the seventh breath, fill your lungs completely. Raise your write hand and place it below your mouth in a cupped position. Push on your solar plexus with your other hand as you exhale forcefully, “blowing” the Inner Critic out into the palm of your waiting hand. Quickly close your hand and grasp the critic firmly to keep it from slipping away. Use your other hand to raise the glass jar to one side, and slip the critic underneath, quickly snapping the jar down to capture it inside. You may or may not be able to see it. That doesn’t matter. Know it’s in there, and promise to call it when you need it, but be firm in telling it to sit there quietly. Slide the jar to the back of the desk.

You are now free to write all the
wondrous words you dream of.

To celebrate your freedom, pick up your pen and write a story about the most beautiful flower you’ve ever seen or can imagine. Write about seductive scents and ethereal lighting. Write about running around the yard blowing soap bubbles. Write about your favorite toys. Write about swinging clear up to the sky and digging to China in the sand. Write with joy and abandon and don’t worry at all what it sounds like.

Inner Critics often need lots of training before they'll stay put in their jar, but you can repeat this magic anytime yours gets loose and turns your writing dingy gray again.

Write now: about other joyous memories. Write about scary things as if you are a child telling your Grandma. Write a story about your IC. When did it appear? How does it influence you? What would you write if it were to disappear? Let your words whirl, soar and spin with joy and glee. Write like nobody is reading, and ... HAVE FUN playing with words!

What Keeps You From Writing?

It seems like ages since I’ve written a blog post. Life has intervened with a great big virtual brick wall. I’ve been busy writing workshop proposals, workshop handouts, urgent e-mails, Life Writers Forum postings, Morning Pages — everything but a blog post.

Other things have also gotten in the way. I urgently needed to clean my desk off and that led to rearranging my office, trashing some files, that sort of thing. Plus, there’s yard work to be done, preparation for a visit from a grandson, you know how all that goes.

You may think it odd that I let other writing get in the way of writing for my blog. Yes, that does seem strange. But it would be no different for someone who wrote reports at work all day to have trouble getting around to writing a lifestory in the evening.

So, what does a person do when it’s been longer than intended between writing sessions? I could wallow in guilt, but (correct me if I'm wrong) I don't believe I have any readers who feel cheated or resentful if I take a couple of extra days off. I do have a personal commitment to maintaining this blog for some time to come, but I’m flexible enough to realize that sometimes a break allows me to return refreshed, and that sometimes life intervenes.

So, what I do is simply sit down and start moving my fingers again. Let the words flow and a blog will take shape, as it’s doing now. If you have been away from your writing, don’t waste time feeling guilty, berating yourself, or moaning. Pick up that pen or get those fingers on the keyboard! Do some free writing to get the pump primed, check your story idea list for a starting point, and get those fingers moving. Words and stories will happen.

What I’m referring to here is not writer’s block, though writer’s block may be a cause. I’m referring to loss of momentum. If it’s that simple, then simply starting to write again will probably be enough to get you back up to speed. If not, check this list of posts about writer’s block, or take a look at these five exercises.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by a stressful schedule that leaves no room for indulging passions like writing, perhaps you need to find ten minutes a day, perhaps in the bathroom, on the bus to work, or some other “sandwich time” and journal some thoughts about your lifestyle and priorities. The thing you are avoiding may be the very thing that can help fit the pieces of your life puzzle together.

Write now: about an experience you have had with blocks to writing and how you overcame them. Or write about the blocks that are keeping you from writing and explore ways of working around them. You are bound to find this experience enlightening and rewarding.

Calling All Life Writers

There is good news for anyone who would like to hang out with other people who write life stories, memoir, journals, personal essays, or other forms of recording their lives in writing. Whatever your reason for writing about your life, the newly formed Life Writers Forum is a great place to ask questions, share thoughts, post short stories or excerpts from longer works, and generally shoot the breeze about writing.

I am hosting this new YahooGroup together with Jerry Waxler, author of the Memory Writers Network blog. Jerry and I have started Life Writers Forum because there is no similar gathering place in Cyberspace for those who are involved with life writing. With people getting busier than ever and energy costs soaring, the time is right for joining something you can squeeze into your already tight schedules any time you have a few minutes. You don't have to drive to any meetings, and best of all, there are no membership fees.

Whether you are still wondering about the difference between autobiography and memoir or have several memoirs published, this is the place for you. Everyone knows that beginners benefit from the advice of seasoned mentors, but it isn't so well known that newbies' ideas can help veterans keep our writing fresh and our minds open.

We hope you'll join us to generate lots of lively discussion about various aspects of writing. Below are examples of topics we love:

• Writers block busters
  
• How to add punch to stories
• Sorting memories and them together
• How to handle touchy topics—without getting sued!
  
• Posting short pieces for feedback
  
• Markets for stories
• Working with agents and publishers
• Self-publishing vs. commercial
• Overcoming writers block
• Reviews and recommendations of published memoirs and books on writing
• Classes, workshops and retreats for life writers

These are only suggestions to get you thinking. Hopefully you'll add lots more to the mix. One of the great things about virtual groups is the diversity of view points they generate, and the support they can offer.

There are two ways to join. You can go to the homepage for the group and join from there, or send a blank e-mail to lifewritersforum-subscribe@yahoogroups.com (no human eyes will see this, so don't waste your time composing a message). Although you can join by e-mail without one, if you already have a Yahoo ID (as in Yahoo e-mail address), you can read previous messages in the message archives on the group website. If you don't have one, it's worth setting one up. You can use any name you want (as long as nobody else is using it), so make it fun if you wish.

Writing Over Hills and Valleys

About twenty-five years ago I had the privilege of attending a two-day management training seminar conducted by Helen Reynolds, a noted author and speaker of the time who specialized in helping women develop their leadership skills. This lively grandmother refused to carry anything but a toothbrush and wallet aboard a plane, and she spent the first day clad in her elegant raincoat, asking questions and lecturing off-the-cuff while she waited for the arrival of her lost suitcase and her brain-in-a-box: a steamer trunk full of immaculately organized overhead slides. On day two, she seemingly pulled overheads forth at random as the conversation continued. Somehow this casual approach worked to inspire, instruct, and generate four-star evaluations. Aside from my astonishment at the success of her apparent lack of organization, I remember only one thing — a story she told.

“All I know about life, is that at times it is compact and tidy,” she said, holding an imaginary globe just a little bigger than a softball. “When it’s like that, everything goes according to plan, neat and tidy and right on schedule. I feel in control and on top of things, like I could do anything. When it’s like that,” she continued, “I know only one thing. Sooner or later it will go Poof!” Her hands flew apart.

“When that happens, life is big and scattered and chaotic, and I have no idea how I’ll get through the days.” She holds an imaginary beach ball as big as a small moon.

“But when life is like that, I know only one thing. Sooner or later, things will settle down, and fall back in order,” her hands slowly compress, “and before long, it will be tidy and orderly again.” Her hands have returned to softball size.

I understood the truth of those words as she spoke them. More than a quarter of a century has passed since then, and today they seem even more true than when I heard them. Yen and Yang, life cycles, hills and valleys, call it what you will. You know what I mean. But wouldn’t life be boring if the road were flat!

This principle seems to apply to all areas of life, writing no less than others. On unpredictable occasions, my writing is lucid and flowing, seeming to come from fountains of wisdom far beyond anything I could summon forth on purpose. More often it is work. I start a story or a blog post, get it half written and realize it isn’t going where I want to go. I may start half a dozen times. Then I cut and paste and snip, and only with great effort do I arrive at something that says what I intend.

Sure, I could just sit here and wait for my muse Sarabelle to come drifting by, but I’ve found that she’s more likely to visit when she knows I’m trying. The hard times are the workouts my fingers need to keep them limber for the times she does visit.

Besides, anyone who goes to the gym regularly knows that feeling of satisfaction that comes from a good workout. It isn’t easy to start, to form the habit, but once it’s formed, the work feels good, It generates a sense of satisfaction and well-being. Writing is no different.

So even if you struggle, even if it seems as if you’ll never get the words down just the way you’d like, keep on writing. If you’re stuck on one story, write another. And another. At the very least, you’ll leave behind lots of drafts, and as I’ve said so often,

Any lifestory you write
is better than writing nothing.

Write now: about times when you felt the most blocked in your writing. What did you do to free up your fingers? How do you cope during these times/ Then write about a time when you felt words flowing forth as if by magic. Or imagine such a scene and write about it. How does it feel?

Where Do You Start?

“Where do you start?” “How do you start?”

These may be the two most common questions people ask, specifically about writing their life story, but the questions apply to any type of writing project.

You start by writing, and you start anywhere. Start with the first thought that comes to mind. Write about that and keep writing. If you can’t think of anything else to write about, write about not knowing where to start, and keep writing. Words will begin to flow, and a story will slowly take shape. One word, one thought, will lead to another.

I can’t credit a specific source for those words, they are universal, but Anne Lamott and Natalie Goldberg come to mind. Anne mentions this concept continually in her classic, Bird by Bird, and Natalie hits on it regularly as she develops the concept of Writing Practice in her best-selling series of books about writing: Writing Down the Bones, Wild Mind, and Old Friend from Far Away.

Last week I found this concept of just starting — anywhere at all — useful for cleaning the garage, a project I could easily put off for a decade, a situation quite similar to writer's block. Faced with an overwhelming task, I started quite simply, by consolidating flattened boxes previously set aside for recycling and adding more to the pile. That led to sweeping a tiny patch. Then I had room to rearrange the shelves behind the pile ... and so it went. Even without a project plan, each step led to another. I’m not done, but the the project has shape now, and momentum is building. I'm actually getting excited about it and look forward to going out there to work again.

The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing began the same way, but it didn’t begin as a book. It began with a single flier describing the first life story writing workshop I ever taught. I had no idea where to start when I wrote that flier. It grew from there, through many phases that included stacks and piles of handouts with overlapping material, and more stacks and piles of stories and essays.

That finished book barely scratches the surface of my reservoir. Several other projects are taking shape that will tap more of its contents. Since I don’t work on each project regularly, they get cold and I lose my sense of direction. When I go back to one, I must start fresh, but not from scratch. Each time I’m a little bewildered about where to start, but it’s getting easier. Soon I'll make a commitment to a single one and finish it.

No, it doesn’t matter where you start. Just get those fingers moving, over paper or the keyboard. Let the words flow. Stories, even finished projects, will happen.

Write now: about a time when you had trouble getting a project started and how you handled this. You might write about a writing project or another one. Every project is the same. It has to be started, and it’s not always easy to know how.

The Ripeness of a Peach

My heart is full of words and stories and pictures and aches to spill them forth. Yet, nothing emerges from my fingertips. The stories refuse to take form, insisting on remaining hidden for the time being, not ready to face the light of day. Here I sit, staring at the screen, realizing I can’t force these words forth before their time.

I recall a day last summer when I ate a peach, resplendent with stunning reddish gold undertones and strong red highlights. However, as picture perfect as it looked, it was not a perfect peach. The fragrance was faint, and although it was no longer hard, it didn’t feel juicy to my questioning finger. The flesh inside was pale and dull. When I bit into it, it tasted like a peach with half the flavor bleached out. The texture was mushy and slightly grainy, not dripping with juice as a perfect peach should be.

Appearances can be deceiving, I reminded myself. There is no way of knowing for sure at the grocery store just how a slightly under-ripe peach will ripen. This one had looked promising, but in the final analysis, it had been plucked from the tree too early. It hadn’t gotten the full benefit of nurturing sap and other fluids provided by the mother tree. The components that would mature into sugar hadn’t been fully formed and the cells hadn’t been fully plumped with water. Peaches can be picked a few days early, but if they come off the tree too soon, they will never ripen properly. The one I ate was of the latter sort.

Perhaps the thoughts spinning in my heart are like that peach, or like a baby, not ready to leave the womb. Neither can realize its full potential to nourish or serve others without the proper preliminary formation. If I force these thoughts into stories too soon, they will be dry and anemic, and they won’t convey the ripeness of the message they are intended to carry. Perhaps I still have a few things to learn and understand. Perhaps the juice and sweetness of love is not developed as far as these stories require to fulfill their ultimate destiny, whatever that may be, or perhaps the readers for whom they are intended aren’t ready to hear them.

I remind myself that these stories are not something I contrive. They are placed in my mind and heart by God herself. I can poke them, prod them, sense their presence and meaning, but I can’t know their final form or intent. That is the gift, not just to me, but to those for whom they are intended. Today I must be content to allow the stories to continue to grow and ripen, eager for the day when they are ready to gush freely from my fingers into the keyboard and out the printer.

This is an example of how writer’s block can turn into a story.

Write now: about your random thoughts when you are experiencing writer's block. Better yet, file this prompt away for that eventual day when you experience writer's block, because I hope that today your muse is generously blessing you with a plethora of great ideas that you are adding to your story idea list.

Write on,

Sharon Lippincott, aka Ritergal

Ritergal's Horrible, Awful, Terribly Bad Day

Moan, groan, bitch and whine. I’m entitled to a pity party, and you are all invited. What?! You say you don’t want to come? That you have other more urgent plans, like watching the bread in your pantry grow mold? Can’t say as I blame you. Who wants to attend a pity party? Nobody, that’s who. Including me. I don’t even want to attend my own.

So, why do I write about it? Because it’s real. It’s true. It’s me, and it’s now. Yes, Accuweather.com assures me that tomorrow the sun will shine, but right now I’m feeling bogged down. Word is giving me fits (have I ever mentioned how much I hate Microsoft Word? And like OpenOffice?) as I work on my presentation for Story Circle Network’s Stories From the Heart conference that begins on February 1. I’m in over my head in trying to configure the wireless card for the laptop I converted to Ubuntu. I broke the rules on an Absolute Write Water Cooler forum game thread. I’m tired even thinking about figuring out how to put downloadable files on my website.

Enough of that. As I said, this is real. This day is my Truth. But, how many people are going to write for posterity about days like this? If you’re like me, you tend to paint your stories with a brush filled with sunshine, and paint out the storms and shadows. That’s okay. You may. But why not let your descendants see your back as well as your smile? Let them know that things weren’t perfect every day. After all, my current woes are hardly due to anything I’ve done. I’m simply overwhelmed by technology at the moment. They probably will be too. They may derive hope from evidence that they spring from resilient stock.

So, I choose to write about enough days like this to show them that “S(tuff) Happens,” and when it does, I deal with it. I’ll write about taking a break to read a few chapters of a mind candy novel to distract myself. About going to bed early for a few extra Zzzz’s so tomorrow I’ll wake refreshed and ready to tackle these puzzles anew. I’ll write about writer’s block and other barriers to writing.

In fact, just writing this blog about my horrible, awful, terribly bad day is making me feel better already. Should I delete the file now, or post this? Yes. I’ll post it. You may be having your own horrible, awful, terribly bad day. Yours may be way worse, like losing your job or something, and I wouldn’t want you to feel alone. Maybe readers who are feeling calm, joyful, or energetic will blow some virtual breaths of peace our way.

Write now: about a horrible, awful, terribly bad day, or even a whole season or year. List all the awful things about it, and how it came to and end. How the sun began to shine. If the sun hasn’t begun to shine yet, write about what the world will look like when it does.

Write on,

Sharon Lippincott, aka Ritergal

Brain Dumping

The story I started in the last post about story catching goes on. I learned that Stephanie and I needed to go beyond that interview. My understanding was that it would be a great help if I’d just write down a few memories from my childhood. That seemed simple enough. Or so it seemed, at first glance.

In a post about six weeks ago I mentioned that having finished The Albuquerque Years, I was moving on to The Los Alamos Years. Many readers may relate to my report that I’ve been feeling a little stuck with that project. Aside from life getting in the way over Christmas time, I was getting bogged down in detail and doing battle with my Inner Censor.

Yesterday brought an amazing breakthrough that benefited both needs: Stephanie’s project, and my own “stuckness.” I was ready for a quick break from the intense concentration I’ve maintained for a couple of days as I worked to prepare my presentation on “Picture Perfect Pages” for a session at the 2008 Stories From the Heart conference sponsored by Story Circle Network in Austin on February 2. I sat down at the keyboard and began a brain dump of my childhood. I covered the first six years in a single paragraph, because she can read about that in The Albuquerque Years.

Moving quickly through the turbulent year I attended four different first grades, I settled into Los Alamos. My fingers flew. I wasn’t concerned with format — paragraphs ran together, and I double-spaced between major thought clumps. As Natalie Goldberg would put it, I was simply "writing down the bones," and that’s best done at a goodly clip, without pausing for serious thought.

At first I’d thought I could finish this dump in, oh, maybe a couple of hours, tops, hopefully less. The clock said it had been six hours when I saved the file for the last time, but I had taken advantage of the astonishing 70º weather to do some quick yard clean-up and tend to other chores. Altogether, I spent about four hours on this brain dump. In the end, its 6750 words filled eleven pages.

This account barely scratches the surface of what I remember, but it does a good job of skimming the surface. If I were to die tomorrow and leave only this, at least my descendants would know there is an iceberg in the sea, even if they see only the tip. I feel very good about getting this much done. It’s a huge relief. Now I can go back at my leisure and write flesh onto these bones.

I think it will be much easier to fill in blanks in this framework than to have done it the way I began — trying to remember everything from a single year before moving on to the next. I should have known to do it this way to begin with. That’s how I began The Albuquerque Years, with a fast and furious brain dump (though that one took many hours longer). Later I went back and found the holes, more than doubling the length.

So, if you are feeling stuck, try doing a brain dump. Use broad strokes, and write as fast as you can. I used the computer. I have more endurance at the keyboard than with a pen or pencil, and had to get the product to Stephanie right away. You may do better writing by hand.

Write now: do a brain dump of something you’ve been putting off writing about. It doesn’t have to take hours — even ten or twenty minutes will give you a powerful start.

Write on,

Sharon Lippincott, aka Ritergal