New Year's Resolutions Don't Have to Be a Joke

Are you one of the majority of readers who will be making New Year's resolutions in the next day or two? Perhaps some of those will include resolutions about writing. Maybe you'll resolve to journal every day. Maybe you'll resolve to complete a memoir, or write a story a week. Whatever your resolutions, here's a tip to help make them bear fruit:

Commit to it publicly and create a time-linked Action Plan to go with each step. I am resolving to complete my Los Alamos Years memoir by January 1, 2011. Here is the Action Plan I just knocked out in about ten minutes I've had a lot of practice writing Action Plans, and I've completed several book projects, so I could do it faster. Perhaps mine will give you an idea what to include in your own.

Sharon's Action Plan for The Los Alamos Years

1-1-2010	Write a draft overview of the story.
1-14-2010.	Define purpose and audience
	Write philosophy of story. What message do I plan to convey?
	Break overall story into segments — these will probably become chapters.
	Survey all the vignettes I’ve already written and select which to include.
	Sort vignettes and align with segments.
3-1-2010	Determine what additional stories need to be included.
	Select photos for inclusion
	Write drafts of each chapter (add additional level to this action step when structure is defined).
	Develop scenes.
	Polish description, dialogue and detail.
10-1-2010	Send draft around to three or four trusted people for proofing and editing.
11-15-2010	Incorporate feedback from beta readers.
	Insert photos and other graphics.
	Finalize Title.
	Format for printing.
	Convert to PDF.
12-7- 2010	Create Cover.
12-15-2010	Upload to (CreateSpace) for PDF and eBook distribution.

Notice that I did not put dates on every single step. Some of these will be done "out of order." Some dates may slip and some may be met early. I'll print my table and put it -- somewhere here where I can see it even with the clutter that tends to build up around my desk -- so I can see it often and be reminded of my commitment. The table will grow as I refine the plan.

By the way, this is not a totally new project idea for me. I've been nibbling at it, dancing around it, for two or three years, and writing vignettes for nearly a dozen. I'm not starting from scratch. But I don't think it would matter. The steps remain the same, and will look familiar to anyone who has seen the Planning Diagrams in the first chapter of my book.

Write now: write a resolution of your own. It may be as simple as writing a single vignette, or journaling every day for a week. But take the time to put it in writing and create an Action Plan, however simple.

Merry Christmas

Sharon

Our Own Worst Enemy

An ailing friend was moaning to me the other day about the fact that having flu the week before Christmas means that she may not get all her baking done.

“So what? Just forget it. Life goes on. Everyone will understand. Besides, how many of you really need desert anyway?”

“Oh, yes, they do need it on Christmas. I’ll really hear about it I don’t come through.”

Later on I thought about that conversation. It’s so easy to hear other angles to someone else’s thoughts. I had an evil idea and sent her a tongue-in-cheek email detailing several possible journal entries that might wreck her karma if she doesn’t leap out of bed and whip up a figgy pudding, along with 80 dozen cookies.

Here’s a hypothetical journal entry from her adult son:

I know I should spend more time worrying about Mom. She's really trying to do so much, and the fact that she didn't manage to rise from her sickbed and do her usual baking is a terrible sign. Well, she's obviously starting to slip. That just isn't like her. In the past, it didn't matter what was going on, or how sick she got, she always came through for us. But hey, she'll be one hundred in a few decades, so I guess it's normal that she's slowing down. Still, why couldn't she wait and get sick some other week, and not when it was Christmas. The whole dinner was pretty much a wreck because we didn't have pudding and cookies to fill in around the edges.

“You are wicked,” she informed me after she read it. “Wicked, and right on target. I can be my own worst enemy.” She went on to tell me she had already come to the conclusion that a new waistline-friendly tradition may begin this year. “But if I hadn’t already decided, you might have convinced me, which is surely what you had on your devious little mind.”

Guilty as charged.

The next morning I paused while writing in my journal, remembering that email. It occurred to me that if wildly burlesque treatment of someone else’s foibles works so well to unmask them, perhaps it would work to use it on myself. I thought of a particular rock wall I’ve been beating my head against the past few days and turned my pen over to the control of a couple of inner “life” critics. They really let loose.

It worked. I ended up laughing at myself and the whole situation. My mind settled down, and I found some possibilities I had been overlooking. I felt cheerful again, even though I still haven’t solved the problems.

Journaling and humor make a powerful combination. I highly recommend it.

Write now: sit down with a cup of tea or beverage of your choice and spend ten minutes giving voice to one or more of the voices causing you stress this season. Let them mock and jeer and tear away. Exaggerate. Blow things out of proportion. Let them do their very worst and carry on until they run out of steam. You may be surprised how quickly that happens and how light you feel afterward.

The Other Side of the Story

Matilda Butler runs a column of writing prompts on the Women's Memoirs site. The current one is about point of view and includes some gorgeous photos of Mt. Shasta that visually illustrate her points. She suggests writing about an experience from your own original point of view, and then again from your current one. As an additional twist, you can write again from someone else's point of view.

I was not thinking of this exercise when I wrote the following mini-essay in an e-mail to a friend. As I read over it before sending, it came to mind. I realized that in a very few words, I covered all three of those angles. Can you find them? They are somewhat interwoven, which is a good way to make your writing sound organic.

Back in the '60s when we were newly weds and living in an $85-per-month ground-floor apartment in Boston, Frau Levy, a sturdily built German-Jewish woman, lived above us. Though she was barely five feet tall in her stocking feet, she sounded like an elephant thumping around overhead. A jingle kept running through my mind, to the tune of “Flow Gently, Sweet Afton” (aka “Away in a Manger”): “Tread lightly Frau Levy, we live down below.” Fortunately she did not keep us awake at night. I have no idea if Jack Paar (later Johnny Carson) kept her awake ‘til midnight — we did try to be good neighbors by keeping the volume as low as possible.

I never spoke with Frau Levy. I knew her name only from the label on her mailbox. I don't even know if she spoke English, though she must have known some. Everyone else in the building—several women and a couple of men—was old, and I didn't know a single one. I assumed they were refugees from Hitler. What a shame. If I'd gotten acquainted I could have become fluent in German (or were those Yiddish fragments I heard?) instead of being unable to say Guten Morgen understandably after two years of classes, and I could have learned enough to fill volumes about their refugee experience before and after they fled. But I was afraid of my shadow back then, and they seemed as strange and arcane as visitors from outer space. I had no idea what to say to them. I'm sure this went both ways. From their point of view, even if they did speak English, what could they possibly have had in common with a ditsy shiksa who was young enough to be their granddaughter and barely nodded their way in the hall?

Those two paragraphs flowed forth in about three minutes. Looking back over them reminded me that I didn’t always look at things from the other person’s point of view, and it doesn’t always fit smoothly into the flow of a story when I do. Perhaps the fact that I was writing to convey a specific message wove things together naturally here. For those times when it doesn't come naturally, exercises like Matilda’s are especially valuable.

Write now: take five minutes (I spent even less on the two paragraphs I wrote) and write a mini story like the one above with all three points of view — then, now and other. Let them flow naturally and add a dash of description while you are at it. Make it a mini-essay.

Virtually Moving

Over the last several days I’ve been totally immersed in moving. My mailing address has not changed, nor has my physical space, but I’m in a whole new place. I’ve entered the world of Windows 7. But never fear, this post is about the mental process I’ve been going through as I make this transition — which is not yet finished — not about computer stuff.

As I sorted through files to make sure  my C: drive was backed up before I began the installation, I was strongly reminded of the packing we did before we moved from Washington to Pennsylvania twenty-five ago. I began feeling similarly nostalgic about the XP home I’ve lived and worked in for eight years now.

When I finally got brave and made that last click that finalized my commitment to installing, I was torn. I was leaving behind a huge chunk of my past and forging ahead into a brave new world. I did not know what lay ahead, what hurdles I’d have to overcome.

As the CD reader spun, I did what any self-respecting life writer would do (that is, any self-respecting life writer who has an old repurposed laptop camped at her elbow, although a pad of paper and pencil would work equally well). I swiveled my chair to the left, opened a new document, and began writing. I wrote about my feelings as the installation progressed. Sadness, hope, dread ... all of it. Then I began seeing similarities to physical moves, to times in my life when I’ve had to let go of the past in order to move forward.

The document isn’t finished, but it has grown rather long and is taking a distinct shape. As I wrote, I found that each stage of the process invoked memories. I’ve come to see that moving into a new virtual home is a perfect metaphor for moving in general, physical, mental or spiritual. The operating system is the frame or skeleton of the house. Once the OS (in this case Windows) is in place, you have to divide the space into “rooms” by installing programs like Word, PowerPoint, Firefox, you name it. You can even decorate your new home with features like a new desktop picture, a color scheme, “skins” for some programs, or desktop gadgets.

Ultimately, once the structure is finished, it’s time to move in. All those folders and files need to be “unpacked” and put away.

Anyone who has ever changed residences knows how memory works overtime as you pack and unpack, and wear yourself out with the challenges of getting everything set up and squared away. Moving to a new computer is the same. The stages of the process serve as both memory triggers and a series of hooks for hanging and organizing those memories.

I intend to keep working on that document.

Write now: about a moving experience you’ve had. Capture the feelings you recall having before, during and after. Focus on those feelings and see what additional memories they bring forth. You may hit a rich new lode of material.

What's the Lesson Here?

 Light Chaos by Kevin Dooley

I don’t know if it’s the magnetic forces building as we slide into the core of the Milky Way, or maybe I'm wearing a sign on my virtual back that says “Trash My ’Puter” or something like that. My desktop machine (Hotshot) has lost the ability to record sound (think “Podcast Impossible”). Jack, my middle-aged ’Puter Wizard, is in the midst of finals week, and doesn’t want to hear my whining, or even take my money. He does his best to keep me self-empowered anyway. He assures me the sound card does work, so it's a Windows thing, and I “just” need to do a clean install and rebuild the system.

“NO!” I yell into the phone. “NOT THAT!” I have, oh, maybe 120 programs installed — true, half can be dumped — but it takes days to rebuild my system.

“Deal with it,” he tells me, in much kinder words.

Adding insult to injury, last night I discovered my laptop no longer recognizes our home network. The CMU wireless network I connected to Tuesday afternoon fried this function, and I can’t connect to the hard drive on Hotshot where I store all my files. This has happened before, and I’ve always relied on System Restore to make things right. System Restore has let me down. It looks as if a fresh installation of Vista is in the cards for the laptop. This system is less complicated and will only take one day. It's been acting wiggy anyway.

How’s a person supposed to find time to write?

After a quick test for compatibility and further consultation with Wizard Jack, I've resolved to replace Hotshot’s aging XP brain with Windows 7. I have to reformat and rebuild her anyway, and this should extend her life another couple of years. So add learning a new operating system to this mix I just described.

In case life weren't already exciting enough, my hubby just ordered parts for Jack to build him a new system (and I know who is going to end up holding whose hand while he installs his favorite apps), and the ophthalmologist who was scheduled to perform cataract surgery on my eyes in less than two  weeks just decided to hand me off to “someone better qualified” which will result in an additional delay of around two months. My head is spinning.

I seriously consider zipping up my down-lined red parka (red will fend off the deer hunters slipping through the woods just now) and going out to sit on a stump under our tri-centenarian oak, sucking my thumb, chanting, and rocking until I turn numb from the cold and . . . 

Wait! Sarabelle is saving me from myself. She just started a banner scrolling through my mind: What’s the message here? What are you supposed to learn? What’s the story? Ah, yes! The message. The story. Am I living my beliefs to the hilt? What sort of messages am I showering myself with? What would I like to have happen as a result of this craziness? These questions sent me scampering for my journal.

This is the true value of life writing: to write my heart out in times like this, to get these thoughts on the page where I can see them and work with them, and defuse their ability to sting and cause chaos. And in the process I’m certain to discover amazing ideas and answers.

Write now: make a list of questions you’d like to have answered about an area of chaos in your life — past, present or future. Use those questions as journaling prompts, then write a short essay about what you hope and expect to see happen.

The Ants of Peace

Photo by JasonDGreat

Will Argentine ants take over the Formicidae world? It sounds possible. I was reminded of the lyrics of a children’s counting song, The ants go marching one by one ...  as I read an item in the December 2009 National Geographic about Argentine ants. They are gaining dominance around the world by their ability to get along well with one another. They are forming genetically consistent “super colonies” that enable an ant from one nest to mingle freely in another, preventing competition among queens and internest wars. Apparently this proclivity for peace allows them to solidly expand their territory, crowding out native ant species and interfering with local ecologies. I'll leave it to you to read more about this peril.

How strange, I thought as I read this. If ants can dominate by peaceful behavior, could humans do the same? If people with a peaceful mindset link up and live from a center of love, peace and gratitude, will we eventually overwhelm and crowd out greedy war mongers? Does this fit with what increasing numbers are coming to view as the shift in human consciousness toward global awareness and unity?

I find such questions rich fodder for journaling as I explore my thoughts and beliefs about peace, spiritual growth, and what’s going on in the inner and outer world. As I journal I’m increasingly able to catch myself at the onset of agitation and consider alternative perspectives. I’m increasingly able to remind myself that in a week, month or year, whatever is consuming my attention today will be a distant memory, and let it go.

Besides exploring my psychic navel lint, I write my visions — or fantasies if you prefer — of how life could unfold. I write visions of people all over the world joining in brain and heart waves of love and peace. I see the power of love-waves canceling out the clanging raging, turmoil of life was we know it today, as surely as ocean waters sooth and level the scars of wind, weather and human intrusion on beaches.

As I write about love, peace and gratitude, I reinforce this state within myself and become more peaceful. As I become more peaceful, others around me are able to remain more calm and peaceful. Hopefully, as I write publicly about love and peace, thought-seeds will germinate, like when I read about Argentine ants. The spread of peace among people is far more powerful than the peace of ants, because it will result in abundance for all rather than elimination and destruction of some as is happening with the ants.

The ants go marching ten by ten ... the end!

Write now: about love and peace. Write an essay with your thoughts on why, when and how you think world peace will occur — or why you believe it never can. Or write about your progress in achieving personal peace and serenity or lack thereof. Write about your dreams of peace. You get the picture. Write your own piece of peace.

Interview with Gina Mazza

“Inspiration happens, but it has to catch you working,” advises Gina Mazza, creative alchemist extraordinaire, as she discusses the process of writing in the audio interview posted below.

Gina is the author of Everything Matters Nothing Matters, an eloquent blend of riveting spiritual memoir with a well-defined path readers can follow as they pursue their own spiritual journeys.

Her book is one of a large number of multi-niche memoirs that appear on the shelves of the travel section, spiritual life, healing, recovery ... even the food section of bookstores and libraries. The combination of personal experience and message is powerful, giving readers deeper understanding of a process I discuss in an article, What is a Self-Help Memoir.

During our interview Gina explains how her book evolved into a published volume from a concept she blurted to an agent during a pitch for another book. In keeping with her dual-track book, she also gives listeners some general guidelines on creativity that will be useful to any writer.

The interview lasts for 15 minutes. Click the link below to listen on your computer, or right-click the link to download it to listen on another device. 



Right-click to download file
This book is just one of many facets of Gina’s work. Be sure to visit her beautiful website, http://ginamazza.com to learn more about her classes, coaching, and writing services.

Write now: following the principles that writing makes your thoughts visible and you can control and change what you see, do several minutes of free writing on your own creative process. Are you where you want to be? As you consider what you wrote, ask your Inner Writer or Muse, “How can I move along my path to becoming more creative, to becoming the writer I dream of being?” Listen quietly, and begin writing the answers. 

Grow Your Attitude of Gratitude

A few days ago my daughter told me about accepting a “Thankfulness Challenge.” She’s posting tiny “I’m thankful for ...” statements on Facebook at least once a day. After she told me this, I took a look. The instructions are simple:

Every day this month until Thanksgiving, think of one thing that you are thankful for and post it as your status. "Today I am thankful for..." The longer you do it, the harder it gets! Now if you think you can do it then repost this message ......as your status to invite others to take...the challenge, then post what YOU are thankful for today....

Then I checked her posts. They are tiny indeed. Typical ones include:

• Today I am thankful for deodorant.
• Today I am thankful for sarcasm.
• Today I am thankful that others have louder voices than mine.
• Today I am thankful for ear plugs ... helpful when the children are fighting over toys.
• Today, I am thankful that my husband did not die on mile 24 of his marathon -- no matter how much he thought he was going to.

I am taking the challenge too, though I’m doing it via Twitter and somewhat behind.

Rather interestingly, as Susan told me about the challenge, she remarked that one of her friends thought she’d have trouble finding enough things to be thankful for. Part of Susan’s purpose is to demonstrate to that friend and the world that thankfulness/gratitude can become a frame of reference for viewing the world, and we can be thankful for tiny little things. We can be thankful several times a day. Several times an hour. Almost constantly in fact.

Recording gratitude is not a new idea. Information about Gratitude Journals abounds. Sleepydust.net explains: “A gratitude journal is like a diary - but you're only allowed to write positive things in it. ...“

The Happy Guy interviewed expert Doreene Clement for advice on how to keep a Gratitude Journal and posted her detailed instructions here.

Reviewing a Gratitude Journal, or even gratitude posts in a regular journal, can brighten dreery days and lift us out of the doldrums. Recording gratitude strengthens the habit of thinking that way. It can even improve your health! Sharing gratitude with others, especially in tiny, credibly little bites like Susan is doing, infects others with a grateful spirit. The more of us doing that, the sooner the whole world will be wrapped in Gratitude, and that has to be a powerful thing.

I’m grateful that my daughter is spreading gratitude, and I’m grateful to Google for making free blog space available to the world. And (drum roll) ... I'm thankful for those who read my blog!

Write now: in the spirit of the season, make a list of things you are grateful for. Aim for at least a dozen off the top of your head, and look beyond the obvious. Make it a habit to jot down grateful thoughts at least once a day, and share them with the world at least now and then.

A Festival of Life Stories

There’s nothing like a party to bring out people’s best stories, especially when stories are the reason for the party. On November 10, members of the Monroeville Library Life Writers celebrated National Life Writing Month with a Festival of Lifestories. Ten experienced members selected one story each from their growing collections and read it to a room packed with family members and friends at the Monroeville Library, our generous host.

As group facilitator, I served as Emcee for the event, introducing a full spectrum of stories. Story topics ranged from a matched pair of stories about “How We Met” through travel stories, war stories, grieving stories, and high school memories to straight humor.

Everyone had a great time, whether they read stories or listened. It was a powerful illustration of the variety of stories that emerge from such a group, and several in the audience expressed interest in learning more about writing life stories.

The event also provided a great way for this close-knit group to celebrate our accomplishments together. We’ve been meeting for just over four years, and though several original members have left the ranks, many new ones have emerged to fill the empty spots and enlarge our ranks. Those who attend continue to develop their writing skill, and their pile of finished stories is growing nicely. One member is sending his second self-published volume to press in another two weeks.

Beyond the encouragement to continue writing and hone the craft, members have come to care deeply about one another. It takes courage to put your life on paper and expose it to the eyes and ears of strangers. We’ve all done that and found our lives richer for the experience.

I speak for the whole group in encouraging you to look for a group to attend in your area. If there isn’t one, start one! You library is a great place to meet, and will most likely be happy to help you get started. The main thing you need are a few people who are willing to write (a copy of The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing will also prove helpful). Send me an e-mail with any questions, and I’ll answer as well as I can.

Maybe next year you can celebrate National Life Writing Month with a group of your own.

Write Now: about your writing group experiences if you have any. Make a list of ideas for starting a group if you don’t.

Has the Memoir Genre Developed a Pain Complex?

Photo by  Polina Sergeeva

 Has a pain complex developed around our favored genre of memoir? Someone recently observed that to be interesting a memoir has to be about pain and suffering. Perhaps I exaggerate the intent of that remark, but as I think about it, I’ve been hearing variations on that theme in a number of places lately. For example,

“People are interested in reading about struggle and how you overcame obstacles.”

“My life is so ordinary. Nobody would want to read about it.”

“Conflict. That’s what sells.”

Maybe that last statement is the crux of the matter. “What sells.” Or more precisely, what publishers are buying in hopes that we also will. Scanning down the current Amazon “best-selling memoir list” search, I see titles like Chronicles, Volume 1, by Bob Dylan, Realding Lolita in Tehran, by Azar Nafisi, Dreams from My Father, by Barack Obama, Night, by Elie Wiesel, It Stops with Me, by Charleen Touchette, and An Unquiet Mind, by Kay Redfield Jamison. None of these books or the many other titles with them are what you’d call light reading.

While these stories are noble and inspiring ones, definitely worth a read, if you don’t have a “survivor story” of your own, you may feel discouraged from even trying to write about your life, even if you have no plans for commercial publication.

Take heart! In response to a challenge to think of any memoir that was about something positive, I recalled my husband's Uncle Walter, who hand wrote stories about his experience growing up in Ray, Arizona 100 years ago, "...because I lived the life every boy dreams of, and want to tell people about it." Every paragraph of this short treatise was funny as heck, and totally delightful. Come to think of it, in his last year, at 96, he claimed that his life couldn't have been better. That's how he thought. That's how he lived. Every day of his life. He was an extraordinary ordinary man who exemplified humility and inspired hundreds of friends, colleagues and family members.

Walter’s memoir was never intended for publication. But off the top of my head, I recall Annie Dillard's An American Childhood, Haven Kimmel's A Girl Called Zippy, and Laurie Jakiela's Miss New York Has Everything as delightful tributes to unique families, communities and the times. I've read each of them more than once, and I no desire to reread The Glass Castle in spite of admiring it enormously.

While I whole-heartedly support writing to heal and transcend the past and inspire the world with the story of that experience, this search made me acutely aware of the importance of documenting the good times as well. Let's look for ways to make reading about pleasure as compelling as reading about pain. Find the tension, find the humor, find the story arc and write in scenes ... It's got to be there, and got to be possible. I believe we bring about what we think about, collectively as well as personally. We owe it to the world to develop a habit of thinking about what is good, cheerful, healthy and whole more often than not. 

Write now: write a scene or anecdote about a positive adventure you had. It doesn't need to be splashy or sensational — just something that challenged you. Play up the tension and humor. Make it a compelling read in spite of the lack of pain and suffering. 

How to Write a Best Selling Memoir in Four Months

Many memoir authors take ages to write their book. Jeannette Walls took about five years to write The Glass Castle. Other outstanding memoirs that have not made it to the best-seller list — yet — are Linda Joy Myers’ Don’t Call Me Mother, Karen Walker's Following the Whispers,  and Heather Cariou’s  Sixtyfive Roses. Each of those books reportedly took about twenty years to write.

So how did Sarah Palin manage to crank out Going Rogue (which topped the best-seller list weeks before its release) in only four months?

Answer: she had help, and she is Sarah Palin.

I have not checked for details, but it seems safe to assume that agents and publishers were pestering her with offers months before she committed to writing the book. Another huge advantage she had was a compelling reason to write. For better or worse, whatever personal motivation she may have had, the over-arching importance of this book will be its role as a political platform document, and Sarah is obviously committed to her political career. 

My assumption before reading it is that comparing Sarah’s book to writing most readers of this blog will do would be like comparing carrots and kiwi fruit. But even so, there are some valuable lessons to be learned from her process.

• She was persistent. According to a report on the Time website,  she wrote a four-hundred page draft in four months. Don’t faint. That’s one hundred pages a month, or five pages a day, five days a week. If you just blast out draft without stopping to read, edit, tweak, or obsess, that’s entirely doable, in only a few hours a day, depending on your typing speed.

• She had an overriding purpose. I’ll leave it to the pundits to ponder her motivations, but it hardly seems coincidence that hype for this deeply discounted book is hitting the news at the front edge of holiday shopping season and just before next year’s elections begin to heat up.
  

• She had help. I have no idea whether anyone worked with her on her concept and draft, but the TPM LiveWire site reports that she spent much of August in San Diego working with veteran ghost writer, Lynne Vincent. Vincent signed a non-disclosure agreement, but the Time article sheds light on the general process of ghostwriting.

You and I may not be famous, and we may not have the sort of purpose Sarah had, but we can adapt her example and move our projects along with these simple strategies:

• Get focused. Being clear on your concept and purpose is a large part of the battle. If you aren’t sure of your focus, jot down the first thing that comes to mind and get started. It’s okay if it evolves as you proceed.

• Set a schedule and deadline. You don’t have to write every day, or finish one hundred pages a month. If you can only devote an hour on Sunday afternoons to your writing, make that sacred time and stick to it. Making a personal commitment to having something to show people by a specific date, like your birthday next year, can speed things along. Especially if you tell them about it.

• Blast through a draft. This may be the hardest thing for most people to do. Just write. Don’t look back. Don’t even think of rereading or editing until you’ve written at least twenty more pages. Otherwise, you could die with seven pages that you wrote seventy times.

• Get help. You may not be able to hire a high profile ghost writer, but you can find a writing group, take a class, or read books on writing. You may be able to afford a few coaching sessions, or help from a reasonably priced editor.

Follow these guidelines and you can follow the example of Paul Ohrman, who wrote his 286 page autobiography, Living to Serve, in just under two years. His second volume, a World War II memoir, took even less time.

Write now: set aside an hour and write a purpose statement for your project, and set up a writing schedule. If you already have a purpose statement and schedule, spend the hour writing. If you are still searching for a concept, do some freewriting to uncover one.

Misplaced Muttering and Mumbling

To my mind, a character who routinely muttered and mumbled would seem eccentric, to say the least, if not sullen or belligerent. An image that comes to mind is an old estate caretaker, wiry and bent with age, given to conversing with plants as he prunes them. Another is a street person suffering some form of mental illness.

Not long ago I read an adventure novel, which charity demands I refrain from naming. I’ll refer to the author simply as Jane. The two main characters were teenagers of extraordinary intelligence and achievement. The imaginative plot held my interest, but as I read, I quickly became distracted by the number of times these brilliant, well-behaved young people muttered and mumbled. Hardly a page went by without one or another of these words appearing in at least one dialogue tag. 

Maybe I would have been less aware of this if I didn’t teach classes in Writing Dynamic Dialogue, but having fairly recently completed an in-depth study of that topic, I took a closer look. I noted that on rare occasions, muttering did seem justified, but each of these circumstances would have been better served by simple whispering, a tag the author rarely used. 

I soon realized that Jane had used muttering and mumbling in situations more suited for internal monologue. She did use internal monologue on rare occasions, but not nearly as often as it was called for. I commend Jane for using dialogue rather than expressing the characters’ thoughts as straight narrative. Obviously she took lessons about “showing rather than telling” seriously. Dialogue is a powerful way of “showing,” but not if it results in distracting behavior  not in keeping with your character.

Perhaps she heard or read a caution somewhere about limiting use of internal monologue. Although I have never come across such advice, a liberal mixture of internal monologue and standard dialogue could be confusing, with the use of quotation marks seeming almost random, and a manuscript using italics for extensive  monologue may look cluttered to some.

In my search for a cure, I found a number of passages where creative editing could allow the main characters to show reactions and perceptions non-verbally rather than using either dialogue or internal monologue. This book was fiction, but memoir writers face the same challenge — to reach beyond the obvious and find innovative ways around the speed bumps that distract readers and cause them to put our volumes aside.

Write now: do some writing practice, filling a page with snippets of random self-talk or internal monologue. Don’t make it one long string — use short pieces, not longer than one line each. When you have half a dozen examples, explore non-verbal ways of demonstrating these thoughts and reactions.

Tribute to a Mentor

Earlier today I read a review of a book, Muses, Mentors and Monsters, by Elizabeth Benedict. The book features a collection of tributes from thirty writers to mentors who  changed their lives. I immediately thought of the mentor who changed my writing life by kicking it off.

Lacking the opportunity to put this into a book, I'll pay tribute here to Larry Sparks, my main mentor while I was an off-campus grad student in the psych department at Central Washington U in the seventies. I doubt I would have made it through the mazes in that program if Larry's office hadn't been available as my centering spot. This gentle balding giant with the translucent cinammon buzzcut and droopy, pale blue eyes constantly urged and teased me to set aside my wild ideas of a counseling career and settle in to write. "You are the best writer I've ever had in any of my classes. That's what you excel at, what you do best. It's something you can do at home with your kids, and you can make (I think he said something like eight or ten cents per word) writing articles."

Larry told me lots of things — taught me lots of things — about life and especially about metaphysics, as he leaned back in his favorite desk chair pose — hands locked behind his head and one foot propped on a knee. He was the one who first introduced me to the "everything matters nothing matters" concept. I always listened, I always heeded, but I was sometimes slow to act and even slower to fully comprehend. I did start writing. I began with short stories. I still have a couple. They were truly pitiful, but I had no guidance. No classes. No books on how to write. No writers' group.. I wasn't about to show them to anyone! And it was hard to knock off the crust academic and case history writers develop that makes it second nature to weasel word and document everything. No original, definitive opinions allowed. Leave your self at the door and stick to the facts.

I did keep writing, scaling my ambitions back to local rather than national publications. I turned to reporting rather than fiction and served as a major contributor and Editor-in-Chief for a friend's regional advertising-supported women's newsletter. Getting positive feedback from people I hardly knew, I gradually built up a respectable portfolio and transitioned into business writing. I began to study the craft of writing and implement what I learned.

All this while I stayed in touch with Larry. Long after my last visit to campus, my move to Pennsylvania, and his retirement, I continued to find comfort in his teasing approbation. About the time I began seriously writing, life writing, and my heart kicked into the process, we gradually lost contact. It's been about ten years since our email exchange fizzled. But his warm, loving smile and gentle chuckle always lurk near the surface of awareness. In spite of the lack of active contact, I still feel connected. I'm sure that on some level he knows what I'm up to even now, and is still smiling and chuckling as he lounges in his recliner, gazing at the vast eternal reach of the Columbia River flowing through the desert wilderness of eastern Washington.

Would I have begun writing if I Larry Sparks had not entered my life? Quite possibly not. I do believe he made that difference in my life, steered me onto what I know is "my path." I'm enormously grateful for his presence, wish him well, and thank him from the bottom of my heart for believing in me, then, now and always.

Write now: a tribute to a mentor (writing or otherwise) or any person who changed your life for the better or exerted a significant influence. If it's possible, share a copy with that person.

National Day on Writing

 Photo by Churl 

A new tradition is being established today — the National Day on Writing, officially recognized by the US Senate. It  officially began at 12:01 EDT today. Every citizen is encouraged to submit a piece of writing, This may be anything from a polished story or poem to a shopping list.

According to an article in today’s Pittsburgh Post-Gazette,

Danielle Koupf, a doctoral student in English at the University of Pittsburgh, is trying to collect "scrap writing" in her gallery, including lists, sticky notes, homemade signs, letters and journal entries in order to "showcase the unacknowledged, ephemeral writing the pervades ordinary life."

Memoir and other life writers may be especially interested in a special page on the National Association of Memoir Writers site that include an interview with founder Linda Joy Myers.

Rather than dwell on the details, I encourage everyone to click over the the Post-Gazette page, the NAMW page, and the official National Day of Writing site for more information and details on how to submit your piece of writing as a legacy for the future, to create writing community right now, and to inspire others to write.

Write now: something — story, essay, poem, list, journal entry — to share with the world and submit it to the site. 

When You're Feeling Stuck

I’m stuck. At a dead end. At my wits’ end! I do not know how to handle this new writing challenge.

This challenge is writing code for a new web page design that has become an obsession. I am determined to make it work, though it is beyond what I currently know how to do. I’ve got the basic structure in place, and just discovered one fatal design flaw. I know it can be done. I’ve seen the concept elsewhere.

Right now I’m exploring my options for forging ahead and see that they are not much different for writing code than they would be if I were stuck writing a story that was mired down. As I see it the options  include:

• Continue by trial-and-error. I know a lot already, and sooner or later I’m bound to stumble on a solution.
• Keep surfing the net in search of solutions. That’s how I learned most of what I know.
• Find a book. I can learn nearly anything by reading about it, and the library is full of books.
• Take a class. I love classes. I learn from the questions other people ask as well as from the teacher’s presentations.
• Find a support group. This could be anything from a friend who knows more about this than I do to an on-line forum.
• Find a coach. This could be the fastest way to get exactly the information I need, presented in a way that next time I’ll know how to do it myself. This is a tempting option, and in some cases the best one.

If I were writing a story, the options would be the same: keep writing, read books, take classes, find a support group (writing group), find a coach, or pay a pro.

In my case now I’m going to keep surfing, work through a couple of online tutorials, and post my questions on a couple of support forums. I’m in a hurry. But I’ll also look for a class to broaden my base of knowledge, and look for  a book on Cascading Style Sheets. 

If you are feeling stuck with a writing project, please join us at the Life Writers Forum by entering your name in the form in the left sidebar or visiting the group’s signup page. Check out the list of NAMW writing classes and teleseminars. Or send me an e-mail for some free advice on your own options.

Write now: make a list of writing skills you’d like to strengthen, then list your options for learning what you need to know to keep your writing growing and thriving.

The Importance of Correct Punctuation

Photo by Liz West from Flickr.com

Words are the raw ingredients of communication. When we speak, we use inflection and pauses (together with facial expression and body language when we have visual contact) to add layers of meaning to the words. On the page, punctuation serves the same purpose.

Just as tone of voice may vary to suit the speaker’s intent, so might punctuation. Compare these two examples to see what a difference punctuation can make.

Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy—will you let me be yours?
Gloria

* * *

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Gloria

The exact same words convey diametrically different messages with a change of punctuation. In this case the difference was intentional. In real life (read "your writing") inadvertent omissions or errors may cause unintentional confusion. It’s worth investing a little time in boning up on punctuation basics to avoid mishaps and misunderstandings.

That leads me to some shameless self-promotion. One of the unique features of my book, The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing, is a brief, but comprehensive guide to all the punctuation you need for writing life stories, essays or memoir. It’s conveniently arranged in table format with brief examples to show how each rule works. That chapter also includes an overview of basic grammar and other ways to avoid confusion and convey the message you intend.

You don’t need to buy the book unless you want to take advantage of the comprehensive set of other writing tools it includes. You can track down the punctuation information for free on any of hundreds of Internet sites, or you may already have a book that covers it extensively. The advantage of my book is having it all at your fingertips on just a few pages. However you get it, whatever your resource, do take a few minutes to bone up and give your words the polish they deserve.

Write now: pull out a story you wrote a few months ago. Check to see if all the commas are right, using whatever resources you have available, web or print. How about the dialogue? (You did use dialogue, right?) Is it punctuated correctly?

Mamma Mia: Memoir Model

Which came first, the Abba tunes or the musical plot? We all know the answer to that. The tunes in the musical Mamma Mia were hits in the years 1977-1982. Although the concept for the musical obviously came somewhat earlier, work on it did not begin until 1997, fifteen years after the last songs were released, and the movie wasn’t released until nine years after the stage play opened in 1999.

Anyone who has seen this musical surely noticed how the two dozen tunes integrate  so seamlessly with the plot that anyone who wasn’t already familiar with the tunes could logically assume they were written for the purpose. Aside from incorporating voices of the actors and slight adaptations to segue them into the plot in places,  changes to the original tunes were so minor as to be imperceptible.

So why do I claim this totally fictitious, over-the-top comedy musical is a model for writing memoir? Precisely because it takes isolated fragments of story (each song is a tiny story) and pulls them together into a coherent overall story, woven together with some added narrative to give setting, context, and consistent meaning. Furthermore, the songs are used quite randomly, not at all in the order they were written.

Some people plan and outline a memoir before beginning to write. That’s a reasonable and productive way to go about the project, but it’s definitely not the only way. As I point out in The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing, your story and your approach to managing writing projects are as personal as your finger print. You need to find your own style, honor it and stick with it. Probably more people begin by creating a random stack of completed vignette stories than by planning.

Mamma Mia, the musical or movie, is a source of great hope that you can consolidate stories into a larger memoir just as Judy Craymer and her team consolidated selected Abba tunes into a cohesive production story. And maybe you can have as much fun doing it, and find as much humor in life as they did.

It’s worth noting that Abba recorded over 100 songs, but only two dozen appear in the stage or movie productions. Likewise, if you have a stack of 100 stories, you’ll only include the ones relating to your specified theme or purpose for your larger story, keeping others as “singles” or material for a later project.

So, take a fun lesson from a funny movie and work on your own story.

Write now: check out a copy of Mama Mia from your local library (or order it from Netlix or wherever). As you watch, pay attention to the way the stories are woven into the story line, and how narrative provides the thread for holding these beads together. Then get out your pile of stories and cluster them into themes. When you find one you like, work on weaving the stories into a comprehensive whole.

Turn Your Story Inside Out

Sometimes you have to turn a story inside out to find the real one.

Angela, a writing group friend, has been struggling with a story that just didn’t seem to be going anywhere. “It doesn’t have any tension,” she observed. “Nothing is really happening. Nobody would read more than a page or two.”

“So, why did you write this story? Why is it important to you?” another member asked.

Angela’s voice was tentative as she began to explain. When she got to one element she had stashed in a single paragraph near the end, she exclaimed, “I really have two stories here!” A jolt of electricity pulsed through the group.

We realized that her true and powerful story is buried deep inside the presenting story. That tiny seed of real story is where all the conflict and tension is, and the outer story seems almost dead, because it is only a shell. After Angela pulls the true story into the dominant position and gives it proper attention, the dull part will become relevant and lively.
 
A mental movie ran through my mind. I saw a cylindrical drawstring bag made of  filmy pastel silk print. It was a little wider than a fist, and deep enough to bury a hand well past the wrist. I reached into the dark depths of the bag, relishing the feel of rich velvety softness. I felt a lump attached to the bottom. When I pulled to remove the lump, the bag inverted. A rich black velvet bag now encased the silk one. A velvet-wrapped lump lay in my hand, well-padded and still hidden. It turned out to be a large jewel, sparkling in sunlight.

Thinking about the image of that bag, I recognize it as a metaphor. The original ephemeral story, bland and sweet, was hiding a true and powerful one. The bag hid and padded the jewel, removing the life that light imparts to it, and keeping it secret.

Why would you hide a jewel, I wondered. You may hide it to protect it — from thieves, dust, getting lost — and to keep its sharp facets from scratching things. Maybe you hide it because you don’t want to seem like a show off, have no place to wear it, or don’t think it’s real.

You may even hide it because it’s magic and you fear its power. Angela's Inner Censor may have hidden it without her knowing. Or — you may not have realized the bag was magic! It was a lovely bag the way it was. Who knew treasures lurked in its depths?

Angela's enthusiasm grew as she discussed her plans for revision, and I have no doubt that the new version will crackle with tension and energy.

Besides the jewel, that magic bag held some writing tips. If you are struggling with a story

• Ask yourself, Why did I write this story? What matters? What’s the real story here?
• You’ll know when you find the real story. You’ll experience a surge of energy and excited recognition.
• Find a good writing group or writing buddy to help you discover your treasures.
• Be patient. You won’t find your jewel until it’s ready to be found.

 Sometimes the best stories are hidden inside our old ones.

Write now: pull out an old story that you struggled with, one that seems dull and boring. Ask yourself that key question, Why did I write this? Keep digging until you hit some hard, glittering truth that fires your heart with enthusiasm. Let the new energy guide you to your real true story.

Beyond All the Words

Beyond all the words is a place of great silence.

I recently read this sentence (or one much like it). I wish I remembered the source, but all I recall is being struck by its simple profundity. The context referred to endless talking, but my mind instantly shifted to writing.

Serious life writers, whatever form we choose, may find ourselves awash on a sea of our words. We write story after story, journal day-by-day. Words fall from fingers like autumn leaves from the tree of life.

I write, as many others do, not only to leave a legacy of personal and family history for future generations, not only to share with friends I know and haven’t yet met, but for understanding and insight. Journal entries, vignettes, essays, scribbled diagrams and mindmaps — these are all dots of understanding. Eventually dots connect into pictures, words into stories, and stories into understanding.

Until I read about the place of great silence, I assumed my words would pile up forever, and to what avail? Not even I will ever reread all the words I’ve written. So, what’s the point?

Now I see the point: to get to the place of great silence: a place of peace, beyond all the words. This place of great silence is surely the place meditators seek, the “peace that passes understanding.” I see it as a place where all the dots merge into a single source of perfect light, a place of wholeness, beyond understanding.

My word pile will continue to grow, as long as I draw breath. I love to write. Writing anchors my thoughts, stills and orders them. My words are stones on a path to understanding, but understanding is not the ultimate goal. That place of great silence, the place beyond understanding, beckons me with the promise of joyfully bright completion. I can go there right now. And come back to write again — until I’m ready to stay.

Write now: about your purpose for writing and what you hope to find beyond all the words.

Your Own Magic Crystal Ball

Imagine that you have a magic crystal ball that sees the past as well as the future, able to change the shape and color of events. The other day I was blessed with such an experience, though the ball was nowhere to be found.

It happened in the early morning as I wrote in my journal. As my coffee began to kick in and my fingers limbered, I began writing about a person from my school years, someone I’ve always believed “made my life miserable.” I’ve even been known to claim (only partly in jest) that said person “ruined my life.” Suddenly I dropped my pencil as a voice in my head blurted out a startling message:

She didn’t ruin your life. She didn’t even make you miserable. If anything ruined your life, it was the way you compared yourself to her and came up short in your own view. Plus the way she had a few people skills you hadn’t yet learned. But that had nothing to do with her and everything to do with you. Besides, was your life really ruined, or simply nudged around an inevitable corner?

You know that feeling, that great big, whack on the side of the head “DUH!” moment? I had one of those moments. Had anyone been watching, I would have been the classic image of shock. My jaw dropped and my eyes widened. I simultaneously felt a surge of energized excitement and a wave of relaxation. My shoulders dropped as if a huge load had lifted, and I sank deeply into my chair. “Wow!” I said, in a loud whisper so as not to awaken my still-slumbering spouse. “Wow!” What other word would do?

With that thunderous insight, whole chapters of my life flipped into a new configuration as quickly as if I’d clicked on “re-sort,” and my understanding of the peculiar relationship I’d had with this classmate flipped 180º. Suddenly all was very right with my world — or I should say even more right. I knew more certainly than ever that everything in my life has happened specifically to bring me to here, to now, and that’s a very good thing. Some would say healing occurred. Perhaps. I call it growth in understanding.

Would I have come to this understanding without my journaling practice? Maybe. Would I have thought of this if I didn’t spend time writing stories about my life? Could be. One can never be fully certain of things like this. Obviously sages through the ages have acquired great wisdom through mediums other than writing, but there is no question that the  discipline of journaling and related forms of life writing will increase the odds.

This discovery is not something I had consciously sought. For over half a century I had taken that relationship and analysis for granted. Why change the story now? That is indeed magic. It’s a blessing, and although I didn’t seek it, I did set the stage by sitting here, day after day, with my hand moving a pencil across the page. Without question, writing about the person opened this door.

If I could give everyone in the world a gift, I would give them a journal with an endless supply of pages, a pencil with a perpetual point, and the desire to write.

Write now: about a pesky relationship from your past. Do it as freewriting, leaving your mind open to the possibility that you may have something to learn. But don’t do it with expectations — just hang loose and see where it goes. At the very least, you’ll have the makings of a story on that topic if you want to continue writing about it.

Interview with Heather Summerhayes Cariou

Heather Summerhayes Cariou's book, Sixtyfive Roses: A Sister's Memoir, is not new to this blog. I published a review of in on Amazon back in June introduced here by a post on June 2, and I've referred to it a couple of times since.

There is much to appreciate in this book, and two of them are especially relevant to the classes I teach on writing sparkling description and dynamic dialogue. Heather is a master of both. Today Heather has agreed to be my guest for the second in a series of mini-interviews especially for readers of The Heart and Craft of Life Writing. 

In this interview, Heather explains how she was able to craft compelling descriptions of places from times long past and dialogue about events that happened thirty or forty years ago. As a bonus for listeners, she gives several tips that will help anyone with writing dialogue, description, or really anything.

The interview lasts for 14 minutes. You can listen on the player below, or click the link to download it for listening on your mp3 player. 

Download file

Write now: listen to the interview and try Heather's tip on using poetry to loosen up your creative right brain.

Watershed Memories

 Photo by Slagheap at www.flickr.com

This morning I jotted down some memories of September 11 in my journal. As I wrote, I thought of the intense fear the occasion called forth, the fear that life as we had known it had crumbled as surely as the Twin Towers. 

That triggered a related memory of a day a couple of years later when I experienced a blinding flash of the obvious, realizing in an instant that hate is not the opposite of love, FEAR is the opposite of love.  I felt those shackles of fear break free as divine, sublime love flowed into my being. My spirit soared in awe and gratitude. For several days I floated on a cloud of bliss, feeling free and strong, exploring the plethora of ramifications of this blessed “knowing.”

I wish I could tell you I've been 100% confident and joyful ever since. Not so. I still  get the willies now and then about one thing or another. It may be news related, like the situation in Iraq or healthcare reform, or it may be more personal, such as family illness. The onset of dread can come from any direction. But having been freed from chronic fear, I sense it early and am increasingly more able to nip it in the bud, reminding myself, “Things always work out okay in the end. Chill!”

Could I have understood this earlier in my life? I don't think so. I needed the data and experience to prepare me to understand and “get it.” But the delay in learning has made the realization that much more precious.

These memories, of the events and fear related to 9/11, and the experience of instant insight, are prime examples of watershed or landmark memories. They have had a major effect on my life, shaping it dramatically. Such memories form columns supporting the structure of memoir. I am compiling a list of these memories and arranging them on a timeline. They are transition points in my spiritual growth. Other memories about the impact of these insights and how they shaped my further life can be woven together to form walls and a roof linking all the columns together into a completed story.

That’s a long-term project. For now I’m writing short pieces about each watershed memory. That will anchor them and keep them fresh for when I’m ready to assemble the long version. And/or in case that day never comes.

Write now: list several watershed memories in your life. These may be about fear,  your spiritual development, or anything else you want to contemplate and come to grips with. Pick one or two and write a couple of paragraphs or a full story or essay. Or make a mindmap of related memories. File the material away for future use.