Writing Your Way Out of the Dungeon of Despair

I shiver with cold dread at the sight of this picture. I took it myself four years ago, inside O’Brien’s Tower near the tip of the Cliffs of Moher in western Ireland. This day, our first full one on the Emerald Isle, was suitably dreary and gray, utterly mystical. Along with a sizable contingent from the much larger crowd of visitors staying within the official viewing area, we dared the “Beware of Bull” and “No Trespassing” signs to walk the mile or so out to the tip.

Since we had no guide, I could only speculate that the tower had been used as a dungeon. I felt trapped, claustrophobic and helpless in those confining walls, even knowing I could turn around and leave whenever I wanted. I felt frozen in place.

Recently a fellow writing group member mentioned that she was feeling stuck with her memoir project, and this picture came to mind. When she saw it, she immediately replied, “Yes! That’s it! That’s just how I feel — surrounded by dark stone walls on every side.”

Nearly anyone who takes writing seriously comes to such a point sooner or later. The five steps below outline a suggested map for finding your way out of the dungeon:

• Put your project on pause. You won’t make any progress until you resolve the underlying issues.

• Use freewriting or journaling to explore what’s holding you back. Begin with lists of whatever comes to mind when you ask yourself the question “What is keeping me from writing about (whatever)?”

• Use Dr. James Pennebaker’s method for exploring each item on the list.

• Continue journaling and writing until you find the “story” behind each obstacle. That story should result in a new perspective that sets your mind and heart at ease.

• Seek professional counseling if you can’t get unstuck by yourself within a reasonable time.

You don’t have to be stuck on a writing project to benefit from this process. I intuitively stumbled on it over thirty years ago and have been using it sporadically ever since. What a delight to discover that over 200 scientific studies have validated its power to bring improved physical health along with serenity and happiness.

My friend is exploring her blocks, but she claims she’s making progress. Although her current writing is private, she reports that she’s finding piles of new material to write openly about soon.

By the way, the process above result in a fascinating change of view such as I just experienced when I did some research on the Cliffs of Moher and O’Brien’s castle. I learned that it was built for the entertainment of friends, complete with a marble table, parties and pipers. Who knew? I can see it differently now, and the dread is gone.

Write now: make a secret list of things that may be keeping you from writing important stories from your life. These are the stories that can have the most impact in advancing insight and personal growth, even if you never show them to a single person. Simply making the list and shredding it can be a hugely liberating act.