Q & A About Keeping a Journal

Photo by Julie Jordan Scott

Journaling is one of the most intensely personal activities you can indulge in and one of the most powerful self-care ones, plus it's a gold mine of material for memoirists. Because it is so personal, there is no right way to do it, but many beginners still have questions. Below are a few of the most common.

Do I have to write by hand?
No. There is some evidence that writing by hand slows your thinking to an orderly pace, giving meditative-like benefits, but the edge is slight. If you are able to catch the gush of your thoughts better on a keyboard, go for it.

How should I choose a journal?
It doesn’t matter if you use a hand-bound volume covered in Italian leather, a composition book from the Dollar Store, a folder full of loose paper, software like LifeJournal. or a basic text editor. What does matter is that you choose something you feel comfortable with, and then use it.

When is the best time to write?
Many people prefer to write first thing in the morning, but that doesn’t work for everyone. Write when you can — during coffee or lunch breaks at work, on the bus, after dinner ...

How often should I write?​
To get the most meaningful results, you should write at least several times a week. In her multi-million copy best-seller The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron advises writing three pages, first thing, every day, and millions of people around the world follow this advise. She does not specify page size. If you skip a day or few for whatever reason, Just pick it back up and keep going as soon as you can.

How much time should I spend?
As stated above, Julia recommends three pages. That may take ten minutes or an hour. Write for as long as you feel the urge and have the time.

What should I write about?
Anything at all. You can keep a log of the weather, record your comings and goings, rant and rave. You can keep a gratitude journal. One key to using it for enhanced health and enlightenment is to focus on feelings, emotions and reactions. The more you get your inner thoughts on paper, the more self-aware you become, the more alternate perspectives you’ll find, and the more stress you are likely to relieve.

Should I share my journal?
That’s a personal choice. If you think others might read it, you’ll filter what you write. You’ll gain the most insight if you keep it private. Hide it or keep it elsewhere if you don’t trust people you live with. Then always write the Truth as you know it, and watch that Truth transform.

What other tips should I know?
Two key questions have generated huge pay-offs of insight for me: “Is this true?” and “What can I learn from this?” After I write one of those questions on the page, I just write down the answer without serious thought. Writing dialogue with people from the past — or even imaginary people — is also powerful for surfacing hidden thoughts and wisdom.

Another tip is to write as fast as you can without concern for punctuation, grammar or even making sense. Just get it on the page and don't let your inner critic stop you!

Do I need lists of topics to write about?
No. But using them can seed some amazing essay material.

What if I lapse?
My advice about writing in your journal is the same as writing life stories: Anything you write, anything at all, is better than writing nothing. Even if it is just a few paragraphs a couple of times a year.

Where can I find more information?
My favorite websites about journaling:
     International Association for Journal Writing
     Writing Through Life
     Center for Journal Therapy

My favorite books about journaling:
     One to One, Christina Baldwin
     Journal to the Self, Kathleen Adams.

Write Now: if you don’t have a journal, find some paper or open a new file and start one. If you do have one. pull it out and write an entry.

Steps to Use Your Muse

 My muse, Sarabelle

Most of us have good friends. Some people have best friends. A fortunate few of us have super friends. I’m one of the fortunate ones. A couple of days ago I wrote a blog entry on A Los Alamos Girlhood about a discussion with a super friend. She has the amazing ability to pick up on things, and lay her observations on the table. She doesn’t back off either, until she’s satisfied her curiosity. Or unless I tell her I’d rather not discuss something, which has been known to happen.

In the case I wrote about, she picked up on frustration I hadn’t even realized I was feeling about my memoir. She drilled right down to the bottom with me, and I found what Karen Walker referred to as the Golden Thread of my story.

If you don’t happen to have such a super friend, or your super friend is busy when you need her, don’t lose heart. I’ll let you in on a secret that may set your story on fire: Make-believe friends are as good or better as flesh and bones ones.

I say make-believe, but I’m not convinced that’s the best word. I’m referring to your muse. I’ve had conversations with my muse Sarabelle that were equally as enlightening as the one I recount in that blog post. Here’s the way to do it:

1. Sit in a comfortable chair, with a paper and pen handy to make notes. You can pour a cup of your favorite beverage if you like. Picture your muse sitting in a chair near you.
2. Ask your muse to help you. Just start talking, like you would to any close friend. Tell her (or him — muses can be either gender or neither) what you’re thinking and what you need help with.
3. Sit and wait. Listen carefully until you hear an answer. It may come immediately, or it may take a few minutes. If two or three minutes go by, ask again. Some people need more practice than others.
4. Once an idea occurs to you, even if you don’t “hear” it in words, write it down, and keep writing until you run out of words. Ask follow-up questions, and keep writing. You’ll soon know your answer.

An alternative way to do this is to write a conversation with your muse in your journal. Simply write down your question, then begin a new line and start writing the answer. You may run into a new question. Write that. Keep going with the cycle. You may be amazed at the wisdom that flows out of your fingers. I know I often am.

Write now: think of a  story you are feeling puzzled about, or a project you’re feeling stymied on. Take your pick between a conversation with your muse or a written one in your journal. State your question and listen for the answers. Pop in with a comment and let us all know how it went.

Writing Makes You Feel Better

Neuroscience is now validating what journal writers have known for ages: writing makes you feel better.

Brain researcher Matthew Lieberman does cutting-edge research in the UCLA Social-Cognitive Neurosciences lab, and although his primary focus is on language in thinking, much of it has fascinating implications about the possibility of using various forms of writing to reframe the way we view the world. Here’s a thumbnail summary of his overall findings:

When our brain is running on auto-pilot, the amygdala and basal ganglia (X system, for refleXive) sort input with lightning speed to produce reflexive responses to known stimuli. When something new pops up, the amygdala stalls out and a cluster of the anterior cintulate cortex, prefrontal cortex and medial temporal lobe (C system for refleCtive) kick in to reflect on the situation and select a contextually appropriate response.

The X and C systems are hard-wired with an “either-or” switch. They can’t both run at the same time. So when we are in a constantly changing environment, the C system stays on most of the time. Recent research has shown that using language activates the C system, even when the X system is on track. Behavioral responses (overt displays of biochemical surge-induced emotions such as  facial expression and language) are moderated when they stream through the C system.

These results suggest that writing about memories establishes new cause-and-effect relationships and reprograms the amygdala, eventually creating new response patterns and reducing stress. James Pennebaker’s seminal research and the myriad follow-on projects clearly demonstrate that writing about traumatic memories defuses them, but doesn't tell how that works

Lieberman joined the crowd replicating Pennebaker’s research with the addition of brain scans and explains the results. "Writing seems to help the brain regulate emotion unintentionally. Whether it's writing things down in a diary, writing bad poetry, or making up song lyrics that should never be played on the radio, it seems to help people emotionally," Dr Lieberman said.

Write now: pull out your journal or blank paper and write about something distressing or puzzling. Write about it three or four times on different days until it begins to make sense in a new light. Dr. Pennebaker's guidelines are here if you want further guidance.

Writing without Shadow

"Writing without shadow has no depth."

I wish I had written down the source of that quote. It reminds me of the importance of including dark notes in my memoir along with the bright ones. It's so tempting to leave out those times when we didn't get the prize, when we were the last one chosen, didn't have a date for Homecoming, or felt despair of every finding love. Those are not fun stories to remember, much less to write, and not ones we generally care to share.

The graphic above says it all. Simple facts make a bland story. Adding some detail may brighten it up and vastly improve it. To make it pop off the page and become memorable and true, you need shadow. The interplay of light and dark is what gives it depth, mystery and magic. Darkness is the purview of fear and tension, keys to compelling stories.

As you can see from the graphic above, it doesn't take much darkness to give perspective and define the light. Below are a few simple tips like these to add a dash of darkness to your story.

Tell of failures as well as success — Besides the story of winning the spelling bee, tell how you were the last one picked for the fifth grade softball team.

Give an inside perspective — Don't just say you were the last one picked. Tell how it felt. "I stood there staring at my toes, praying to be struck by lightning, or at least to get sick enough to go home and hide in bed for the rest of the school year."

Admit to human frailties — Tell about times you broke a promise or twisted the truth.

Include doubts and fears —Highlight your walk across the stage to receive your diploma with the thoughts running through your mind, like "I never thought I'd make it. I was sure Mr. Frank would fry my sorry ass on that last term paper and test. That man hates me!" Better yet, tell about your struggles with Mr. Frank before graduation.

Show simple flaws — Occasional reference to thick glasses, knock-knees, shyness, stuttering, or some other simple  flaw lends depth to your character (generally yourself). You needn't dwell on these things, or mention them on every page. Less is more, but some is great.

One of the best ways to master the art of the shadow is to read the work of established writers. Study how they describe characters. Look for the sources of tension. What keeps your interest? Try to incorporate your discoveries into your own work.

Write now: write a new story (or revise an old one) to sprinkle in a few dark elements. Share the story with a writer friend some other discerning reader and ask for their suggestions on how to improve the story.