I Had a Dream

I awoke this morning from a most wonderous dream: I was with a group of friends, sitting around a table talking about our various projects and ideas, encouraging each other on. Suddenly something dawned on me:

“Have you noticed he each one of us is responding to suggestions with ‘I could do that,’ or ‘maybe I could’? Nothing is going to happen as long as we say ‘maybe’ and ‘could.’ I’ve lived long enough to know no that nothing happens until I say, ‘I will do that.’ ”

I was as surprised at my words as anyone in the group, but I recognized them as absolute Inner Truth, a genuine epiphany. The dream ended before they had a chance to respond. I have a lot of dreams, but I seldom remember details. Now and then one speaks to me, and this one spoke to me. I took it as a message that I’m ready to turn “could” into “will” often in the coming year. Attitude is everything.

Beyond any personal meaning in this dream, it applies to readers who think about writing, whether anything from a single vignette story of a couple of pages to a voluminous saga covering the full extent of your years. Perhaps your family or friends keep telling you, “You should write all that stuff down!” Perhaps you’ve just been meaning to and going to get around to it. If you are still thinking about it, thinking, “Yes, I could do that ...” this is the time to turn your “could” into “will”. As the New Year rolls in and you think of New Year's Resolutions, make one about writing, and make it “I will!”

Aside from battles with your Inner Censor, the biggest obstacle to implementing that “I will!” decision is not knowing where to start. As I explain in The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing, it doesn’t matter where you start. Just pick up a pen and start writing about any memory at all, and things will fall in place.

For those who tremble at setting out on such an impetuous path and feel the need for more organization, I have three suggestions. One is to create a timeline of your life. I’ve written about this before in The Value of a Personal Timeline, and What Should I Write About?. What better time to start your timeline? If you never write story number one, that timeline will probe to be quite valuable.

The second suggestion is to do some free writing to make a list of story ideas. Take a piece of paper and set a time for fifteen minutes. Jot down every memory that comes to mind. Don’t dwell on them. Just write a few words to anchor it so you can bring it back quickly later, and move on. See how many you can capture before the timer bell rings. You’ll find more specific information about this topic in my post, Story Idea List.

The third is to turn to the list of Memory Triggers in Appendix 2 of The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing. (Or find a list somewhere else.)

Whatever you do, may this be the year that you put “will” in place of “could” and all your dreams of writing come true. All your other dreams too, for that matter.

Happy New Year!

Write now: start a timeline of your life, if you haven't already done so. Update it if you have.

Write on,

Sharon Lippincott, aka Ritergal

Tips For Better Writing and Ducking Computer Crashes

This is the time of year for Top Ten lists. I found a swarm of these lists on the Tech Republic website. I visited there in search of help on a problem that has hosed the Vista operating system on my almost brand-new laptop. I think I shall make my own list of Top Ten Tips for Lifestory Writing, but until I get it written, I recommend that you take a look at Tech Republic’s list: Another 10+ tips to keep your writing sharp and professional.

You may wonder why I’m sending lifestory writers to a site with tips for professional writing. Those tips will improve any writing, with the possible exception of poetry. If a tip doesn’t make sense to you, post a comment here, or ignore it.

For right now, if I can give you one gold-plated tip, it is to back up your work! I had one file on that trashed laptop that I cared about and had not saved elsewhere. I’d worked about six hours on that file and would hate to lose it. I feel sick when I hear of people who lose a whole hard drive full of files that weren’t backed up. The good news here is that after spending a solid day hammering on that system, searching for answers, talking to tech support two places, consulting with my personal ‘Puter Guru, and thinking way out of the box, I finally managed to bully the machine into letting Ubuntu (a version of Linux running from a CD) rescue my files.

A related silver-plated tip would be to avoid purchasing a computer with Vista installed. Most businesses are avoiding it like the plague. I finally found an article on the Microsoft website explaining that the particular file I’m having trouble with is often corrupted by a specific Windows Update. I’m very angry about this system that has probably wasted over a billion hours of user time in the few short months it’s been out.

How can you avoid Vista?

• Order a custom-built machine from a small shop. It may cost more, but it will work better, have the operating system you chose (i.e. XP), and you should get stellar tech support. Do check references on shops before buying though. I found my ‘Puter Guru by asking strangers in CompUSA if they knew of anyone. They did, and they'd forgotten, and we all left without making a purchase. I've now purchased nearly a dozen machines from Jack, for myself and others. (No, I do not get a frequent buyer discount, but I do get unlimited advice.)
  

• Convert your old computer to Linux. Linux runs beautifully on far less memory and power. Unless you use high end commercial programs like Adobe^® Photoshop^® , you don’t need Windows. Dell^™, Lenovo_™ and a couple of other vendors are beginning to offer computers with a choice of XP or Linux operating systems. Walmart’s first batch of $200 Linux-based machines sold out in 48 hours (I am not endorsing these machines, merely mentioning them). You can download Ubuntu, the most commonly used free Linux OS from the Ubuntu site, or order a low-price disk from sites listed there. It includes my favorite OpenOffice suite and enough other free open-source utilities to let you do pretty much anything you do with Windows or Mac. It works much like Windows, and you should quickly feel at home there. Learn more about it from the Ubuntu site or on Lifehacker.com.

Whatever operating system you use (I know there are a few Mac users out there too) I remind you to back things up.

Write now: about your experience with computers. When did you start using one? How do you feel about them? How did you learn to use them? What great computer-related success or disasters have you had?

Write on,

Sharon Lippincott, aka Ritergal

P.S. Did I mention how much I hate Vista?

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

What a memory rich season this is, perhaps because it’s so full of ritual and repetitive tasks. As I wrapped a few gifts this afternoon, I used some ancient ribbon that I swear could have come from my great-grandmother’s attic. She died when I was four. The ribbon has shiny satin threads — on one side. The other side is dull paper. It works well for puffed bows that are ever so much more elegant than the commercial ones that you simply peel and stick. As I fluffed half a dozen bows, I remembered sitting on my parents’ bed wrapping presents fifty years ago, and learning to make elegant bows. The packages had to be perfectly wrapped, with crisply folded creases, and neatly balanced ends, taped just so.

This year my hubby received his Christmas gift early — a record turntable that plugs directly into the line-in port on a computer. This is the first time in a dozen years that we’ve been able to listen to our old LP albums. We converted half a dozen decades-old Christmas albums to MP3 files. Even with a few hisses and pops, those old songs sound more like Christmas than the newer CD’s we’ve purchased.

We no longer set up a large tree, opting instead for a collection of permanently decorated table-top trees. But those wee trees pack just as much spirit as their full-size cousins, and pondering the glow of the mini-lights reminds me of The Perfect Christmas Tree.

Over the years, Christmas customs at our house have changed dramatically from intense observance to nearly ignoring it, to something more balanced, but the memories of early Christmases remain, and traditions stand firm. They are the touchstone. This is the time of year that brings people together. Whether in the mall, around the eggnog bowl, or in worship services, we meet, we greet, and we all wish for Peace On Earth. Ultimately, that's the Reason For the Season.

I wish you a Merry Christmas, and hope that you’ll find a few minutes in the post-Christmas lull to sit in the glow of the tree with pen and paper and capture some of your Christmas memories and stories. That’s a great lead-in to a strong story start for the New Year that’s only hours away.

Write now: some notes of Christmas memories that you can transform into stories in a few days. What do you remember about Santa Claus? How did you learn to wrap gifts? What was the most exciting gift you ever got? Ever gave? What was your menu for Christmas dinner? Did you enjoy the day? Why or why not? How has Christmas changed for you?

Write on,

Sharon Lippincott, aka Ritergal

Melting the Ice Around Your Truth

My words are stuck. They are not stuck in my fingers. They are not stuck in my mind. They are stuck in my heart, frozen in an iceberg of indecision and doubt. I sense my Truth is in there, but it remains veiled, refusing to reveal itself. How do I move forward?

Have you ever felt that sensation? Like you know there is something you really need to write, but you aren’t even sure what it is? You don’t even know where to begin?

One of the best ways is to begin is with free writing. Begin by writing the phrase "I can't write about ..." at the top of a piece of scrap paper. Then list as many things as you can think of that you can't write about. Don't worry. You are going to destroy this list as soon as you make it.

Then pick one topic and use it as a free writing topic. Sit down with several sheets of scrap paper and a smoothly writing pen — a gel one is excellent, because it hardly drags on the paper — and start writing. When you are tempted to quit writing, pull rank. Exert mind over fingers and persist. No matter what, keep the fingers moving, and don’t stop. The results are likely to sound something like

I can’t write about the day I gave Samuel’s ring back. I can’t write about the reasons. I can’t write about them because my fingers stop moving when I try. I can’t just say to my fingers WRITE they won’t listen they just sit there lifelessly with a life of their own saying NO this is not something to write about you really can’t write about this and I say write about it anway just go ahead and say the words if I talk about giving the ring back I’ll admit I can’t write it that I never loved him in the first place and felt so guilty about ...

This doesn’t need to make sense. This isn’t about eloquence or even coherence. It’s about unblocking, about thawing that ice in your heart and letting the words gush forth again. It's about healing your soul, finding more about who you really are and what your deepest Truth is. You may set a timer for as little as ten minutes, or you may find words begin to gush and you write for an hour or more.

When you are finished, you have a choice. You’ve managed to write. You can reread the words. You can keep them. You can highlight thoughts and passage you want to work with later. Or you can destroy them in the fireplace or shredder. The important thing is that you wrote about something you dreaded writing about.

How does that feel? Brave and empowered? Relieved? Or maybe a little scared about defying your Inner Censor?

Don’t be surprised if you feel blocked again when you next try writing about this topic. It may take more than half a dozen sessions of free writing to chip away the ice surrounding your Truth, and it may not look anything like you thought it did when you finally liberate it, but it’s worth persisting for the insight you gain.

This is not a topic that can be intellectually explained. You’ve got to try it to “get it.”

Write now: find some scrap paper and set a time for ten minutes. Write bravely about a secret you are terrified to tell anyone. It may be old, it may be new, but everybody has at least one. Start with “I can’t write about ... ” When you are finished, burn or shred what you wrote.

Write on,

Sharon Lippincott, aka Ritergal

Unravelling the Mystery of You

After decades of keeping a secret so large he can hardly believe it himself, he needs to tell his story, to know who he really is.

— Jesse Kornbluth

These sentences appeared on Jesse Kornbluth’s electronic concierge service, Headbutler.com in a review of the book, The Mascot: Unraveling the Mystery of My Jewish Father's Nazi Boyhood, by Mark Kurzem. I urge you to click over to Headbutler.com and read the whole review for yourself, then pick up a copy of the book — or urge your library to do so.

Although this book bears the name of Mark Kurzen as author, it was written at the request of his father, Alex, who felt the need to unburden his soul by revealing the past, and he chose his son as the instrument of doing so.

I have not yet read the book, though I have ordered it. I don’t need to read it to recognize the truth in Kornbluth’s words about the motive behind it: Alex Kurzen needs to tell his story to know who he really is.

To me, that crystallizes the essence of lifestory writing: to learn more of who we are through the telling of our stories.

Many people will find it sufficient to tell their stories orally to become more self-aware, but those who take the time and make the effort to write those stories, and to keep writing them until they become organized, coherent, and complete, will gain the most insight of all. Their souls will be lit by the brilliance of Inner Truth. That insight becomes a powerfully moving force, capable of making a difference in your life and the lives of those who read your words.

Many people may read the preceding paragraph and think That’s fine and good if your past was as flamboyant as Abe Kurzen's, filled with fantatic experiences. What Truth could be found in the story of someone who spent forty years working rotating shifts on a production line? My life is no different from thousands of others. It would put anyone to sleep!

Production worker, grocery clerk, stay-at-home-mom, insurance sales representative, corporate CEO. It doesn’t matter what work you’ve done, how glamorous it’s been, or how highly regarded or compensated you were. Writing about your life, if only for yourself, can bring out the color and nuances. You can discover small sources of joy, and put regrets in perspective by reliving them in ink. Besides, work and lifestyles that seem deadly dull today will be fascinating to people fifty or a hundred years from now who won't be able to imagine life as we know it and wonder how we went about our days. If you don't tell them, who will?

I urge you to heed Jesse’s words. Slay your Inner Censor, then tell your story and learn more of who you are. You may be surprised at some of the things you discover.

Write now: on disposable paper, about your deepest secret. What is it? Why is it a secret? What would happen if people (specific people, or people in general) found out about it? When you are finished, if you have any concern about anyone finding and reading it, burn it or shred it. The simple act of writing will have empowered you and begun a process of self-discovery.

Write on,

Sharon Lippincott, aka Ritergal

There Are No Mistakes

Detail of Sandra German quilt, from Sandy's Quilt Complex

Do you ever start writing a story and find it just isn’t going well? Do you then wad it up in disgust and throw it in the trash? Or hit the delete button? There’s hardly a writer alive who wouldn’t admit to that response to frustration, but you may want to think twice before doing it again.

Not long ago I attended a program at the library presented by Sandy German, a local quilter of international renown. As she paraded out one dazzling quilt after another, each more stunning and provocative than the last, she explained how each quilt came about. I began to notice that she often commented, “I never plan my quilts. I just start working, and they grow into what they are supposed to be.” Or something like that.

I finally had to ask, “Do you ever start a project and find it just isn’t going well; that the whole thing was a mistake?”

She paused and smiled her great big Mother Earth smile before she answered, “There are no mistakes, only unfinished projects. I have stacks of boxes full of projects that are still waiting to find their final shapes.”

I understood exactly what she meant. I have several megabytes of story scraps that haven’t yet found their story shape. Now and then I pull one out and stitch it into a larger story. The rest are still waiting for their time. Unfinished writing projects take way less storage space than unfinished quilting projects, especially if they aren’t on paper.

Write now: pull out a story scrap and finish the story. Don’t worry about truth, or what really happened, or what form it should take. Just finish the story. Then, if you still don’t like it, put it back in the unfinished pile — or indulge in the dubious pleasure of ripping it to shreds. At least you finished it.

Write on,

Sharon Lippincott, aka Ritergal

Writing On

More than ten years have flown by since I first set fingers to keyboard to write stories about my life. Those who follow this blog know how I started by writing about my preschool years. In the interim, in addition to a how-to-book, I’ve written more than 700 stories, personal essays, blog posts and articles, many of which are now published. I’ve always known that the time would come when I’d feel the urge to knit many of the scrapbook stories together into an integrated fabric — a Crazy Quilt of my life, so to speak. That time has come.

With The Albuquerque Years now finalized, I’m moving on to The Los Alamos Years. Writing this volume is quite different from my earlier experience. The Albuquerque Years was all freshly written. Nothing in that volume previously existed as free-standing stories. In contrast, I have already written several folders of vingette stories about my school years, and I have way more memories of that time that have yet to be written.

The Los Alamos Years is also different, because by the time I started school, I’d begun viewing my life through a lens of understanding, forming judgments and interpreting events to conform to my evolving view of life. My account of the very early years included only a couple of concluding paragraphs of retrospective interpretation, but documenting my understanding of events and my changing perspective is becoming a key element as I move forward.

To my delight, I’m finding that writing along, year-by-year, works quite well, and it’s easy to slip in an existing story where it fits. I may make minor adjustments to blend the independent story into the flow of the larger one. For example, when I pasted The Easter Bunny Discovered into my First Grade chapter, I changed it from present tense to past. It works well in present tense when it stands alone. Told in isolation, it’s a story, and stories are often more compelling when told or written in present tense. Ongoing life stories and memoirs obviously focus on the past and require the use of past tense.

You’d think that after all this practice, I’d know what I’m doing; that I could just sit down, let my fingers rip and have a completed draft in a month.

I’m as surprised as anyone to discover this is not happening. It’s easy enough to write isolated stories, but when I tie them together, other thoughts emerge. I see things in new ways. I discover relationships I was previously unaware of. I find new meanings in small things. I’m not yet at the point where I must make decisions about what to reveal and what to conceal. Those decisions will further complicate the process. Meanwhile, I’m exploring one-hundred-thirty-nine flavors of Writer’s Block and procrastination.

Please don’t let that confession alarm or deter you. Writer’s Block is another way of learning more about myself. I’m choosing to experience it as a challenge and learning opportunity, and savoring it. But I’m not letting it keep me from writing. I finish at least a paragraph every day. Otherwise, I might put this project away for five or ten years, and still be blocked when I pick it back up.

Writing about the past is a way of reliving it and healing it, and I’m reassured at the certainty that such wisdom and insight as I’ve acquired over the past fifty and some years will add value as I revisit those old scenes.

Write now: about your experience with and feelings about Writer's Block. Tell how you handle it. How have you overcome it? What is it keeping you from doing? Write it a letter and tell it off!

Write on,

Sharon Lippincott, aka Ritergal

Memory Triggers

In a post on June 11, 2006, I discussed the pros and cons of using autobiography kits. My personal distaste for the idea of filling in someone else’s blanks and facing the likelihood of leaving many pages empty because the questions are meaningless for your specific life has not abated.

However, I’ve always acknowledged the value of “memory triggers” and include over two hundred of them in The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing. As time goes by, I’m becoming more keenly aware of the value an organized set of questions can have for helping people organize their memories.

Just a few days ago I discovered GreatLifestories.com, an amazing website that offers a couple of valuable services. It provides a set of thoughtfully organized questions divided into twelve topical chapters to help you work sift through your memories and get the stories written. The questions are general enough to apply to anyone, so you won’t be boxed in with questions (for example, about military service) that may be irrelevant to you. You can write as much or as little as you like about each question without concern about making things fit in a prescribed space. You can skip questions or whole chapters, and add material that isn’t covered. You can also upload one picture per chapter.

You write your stories on the site, editing them and saving them there. When you are happy with your results, you can download the finished story, neatly laid out, in pdf format for printing in your choice of four page sizes. Two of these sizes are suitable for uploading to Lulu for printing as a book.

Working online has several advantages. You don’t have to worry about losing your work if your hard drive crashes and you hadn’t backed things up. You can work on your story on any computer that’s connected to the Internet. You choose on a section-by-section basis whether to keep your work entirely private or share stories with family and friends (people you tell where to find them). You can also share them with the public. It’s your choice.

You may be wondering, like I did, what the catch is. What are they trying to sell? I wondered. The amazing thing is, there is nothing for sale! Right now, this is a free service. Will it always remain so? Who knows? Right now it’s a great deal. Right now it’s still in its infancy, and you may find a few glitches. The pdf may not export perfectly — it may repeat your story several times, and not have proper paragraph breaks. But these things will surely be fixed. In any event, you can always copy the contents of your story pages and paste them into a word processing program to format as you wish. You can also write by hand, or off-line, and paste stories into the web editor page.

It’s worth looking around this site, if only to see the questions. You’ll find a few on the story writing pages, and many more are located on the Inspirational Quotes, Helpful Questions and Practical Tips link on the Get Started tab on the top of each page. You’ll also find hundreds of stories that others have chosen to share. They’ll give you lots more ideas for stories of your own and ways to write them.

Write now: a story based on a question from GreatLifestories.com.

Write on,

Sharon Lippincott, aka Ritergal